To have hid and not answered door......

[Clumsyoaf]

Aibu? 830 this morning my SILs their DHs kids etc turn up at front door.... Can see they are laden with presents but I didn't open the door. My children and I have been excluded from lunch tomorrow and I guess I'm still raging mad. On top of which my 4 yr old has been unwell overnight and here's me hair scraped back off white (ahem grey) holey pyjamas whilst they all look like something out of dynasty with their matching handbags and shoes!

So would I bu to not answer door, respond to messages etc or respond with " I'm actually rather upset that my children and I are not welcome at the lunch tomorrow so which would have meant more to us than your gifts do please don't worry about bringing them round. - clumsy."

Thanks, don't want to respond until I can think objectively and mn us great for perspective! Btw I didn't know or expect them to be coming... Completely random visit as they all descended on in laws last night from various parts of the country.

I'll join Ivana and Ilovecake and offer you Christmas dinner here, if you're in the SE. WE have plenty to spare, and we understand the awfulness of being on your own while DH is deployed at Christmas, what with DH being forces and all.

Your SiLs are being beyond nasty, and your MiL is being a bit of a soggy kit-kat. However....

is there ANY way you could maybe host a little breakfast thing for at least your PiL in the morning, or maybe a little tea party this afternoon? You don't have to invite the ugly SiLs, but it would be a great shame (and possibly backfire on you in the long term) if your PiL didn't get to see your DCs, even for a little while.

You would need to suck it up, big style, but as I say, long term, it might be wisest.

and shiney's the one who's staying at home.

I hope your LO is ok clumsy.

Clumsy if you were near me I would offer for you to come here. My husband is here this Christmas, but will be away next year.

With regard to your sil's I would completely ignore the last text you received. Maybe send an ebluey to your husband explaining a watered down version, although if I were you I would just say that DC was contagious and you couldn't go and explain what really happened when he is home in April. My husband doesn't contact anyone but me and our DC when away though so I am safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't get caught out!

For anyone wondering about communications from deployment I shall explain. Most comms depend on where the service personnel are based. If they are in Bastion then the service personnel can access phones/Internet fairly easy, however you only get 30 minutes per week unless you top it up. If you are elsewhere you may be in a situation where there are no comms at all and you may not be able to make contact until
you come back to a main base, which could be on average 6 weekly. People can send hand written blueys or eblueys but they can take anything from 2 days to several weeks to get to service personnel.

do NOT let them turn this round to it being your fault.

Smack them in the face (not literally!) with the fact that you know they campaigned to have you and your children excluded from christmas lunch.

And they have no right to get huffy now.

They got what they wanted.

Christmas without you.

I suspect that all they care about is not looking like the bad guys to your husband

That's what's motivating them at this point.

So they have to make you into the bad guy here.

Don't allow that to happen.

They have treated you like shit and you are supposed to suck it up or you are ruining christmas. Erm. no. Your sisters in law ruined it when they demanded you not be invited and your parents in law ruined it when they didn't reply 'no chance. they're coming.'

I am another who is horrified.

Please also remember that if you are not there for Christmas dinner, it may be a civilised affair but there will be a HUGE elephant* in the room - ie an atmosphere, because you are NOT there.

*not implying you are elephan

Nods in agreement toHect post.
I know it must feeling awful feeling like your on your own against then in this but you are are not, we are all rooting for you. Please remember they are in the wrong you have been more than fair in all of this

ur situation is disgusting what horrible sils etc
agree 8:30 am is far too early to call on someone
u have done everything right the text u sent was spot on and ignoring the door was completing the right thing to do you are much better off on your own

Yy to chris they have spoilt their own Christmas by trying to make it perfect for themselves they've actually ruined it- they will struggle with that turkey Tomorrow I'm sure it will taste quite bitter

Wow what with this and all the palaver over the joint birthday party-drama just seems to love you doesnt it? Hope you manage to enjoy your xmas anyway and have a calmer 2013...

SIL sounds really mean and rubbing your nose in it. If your DH is away it wouldn't have hurt your M I L to have you over. You S I L sounds a pain and no way should she be knocking at the door at 8.30 in the morning.

so difficult - families.

This is all beginning to sound like an episode from Terry and June back in the 70's.

In other words I can be of no help whatsoever, but I am quite enjoying the thread. Sorry.

Hope you have a happy Christmas Day.

Shallow, vile people OP. Buying gifts does not 'buy the right' to also be an utter bastard to family at the same time. They thought of your kids enough to buy a gift but they don't think they are worthy of their company at at time like this? I'm with hec on this - don't let them make this about you. They made sure you wouldn't be part of family at Xmas when you are alone with 2 small children. Utter bastards the lot of them. And I agree your PIL shouldn't have let them dictate this. The fact they haven't stood up for you and your kids is awful.

Yup. And you just know they're only doing it so they can pull the wounded 'we only wanted to give presents, why are you being so mean, we love your children...'

Urgh!
'Will somebody PLEASE think of the children?' Manipulative cow.

I cannot see how any of the SiL's could possibly paint this in any other light when clumsy's dh hears about it.

She's upset and hurt that she and the kids won't be sitting down with the rest of the family, it beggars belief that the witches women thought they could turn up with presents as if nothing has been said.

His question will be 'why wasn't clumsy there?', end of. No one can wriggle out of answering that question

wow people are getting worked up about this. But where is coffee dog?

coffee dog?

Have a great Christmas clumsy - so sorry they are being such cows. I'm a big believer in karma - horrid people aren't as happy as thoughtful ones.

fakebook don't you ask that on everyone of clumsys threads?

Why don't you pm her and ask her?

eh? coffee dog?

Coffeedog was the poster involved in the saga about the kids birthday parties. Her dd was meant to be sharing a party with another kid and then she overheard the other mum slagging her off or something. Then the other mum posted her version on MN.

"Play it our way or your kids won't get their presents"

Your SIL is full of charm, isn't she?!

As an ex-Army child myself, I am disgusted at their behaviour. To leave you alone at Christmas, knowing you don't even have your own family here, is shameful.

I must have missed that thread regarding the party saga, sounds interesting!

Good grief how horrid

I agree that your MIL is in the wrong too though. She should have told SIL where to go.