To have hid and not answered door......

[Clumsyoaf]

Aibu? 830 this morning my SILs their DHs kids etc turn up at front door.... Can see they are laden with presents but I didn't open the door. My children and I have been excluded from lunch tomorrow and I guess I'm still raging mad. On top of which my 4 yr old has been unwell overnight and here's me hair scraped back off white (ahem grey) holey pyjamas whilst they all look like something out of dynasty with their matching handbags and shoes!

So would I bu to not answer door, respond to messages etc or respond with " I'm actually rather upset that my children and I are not welcome at the lunch tomorrow so which would have meant more to us than your gifts do please don't worry about bringing them round. - clumsy."

Thanks, don't want to respond until I can think objectively and mn us great for perspective! Btw I didn't know or expect them to be coming... Completely random visit as they all descended on in laws last night from various parts of the country.

What a nasty passive agressive text. Ignore it. Do you think she'll get in touch with your dh and try and poison him against you?

So sorry you are going through this.

I am at your awful SiLs! I can't believe the reply one of them sent!!

I hope you and your DCs manage to have a nice Christmas. Don't know how your SiLs will manage to have a civilised Christmas, they don't sound very civilised at all. Fancy excluding 2 small children from spending Christmas with their grandparents, how cruel :(

Clumsy-I read both your threads, I am disgusted for you. I am glad you have said something to your SILS-they need to know they are in the wrong. I am bit that your MIL hasn't simply told her daughters, her house her rules. But I guess she doesn't want to be seen as favouring her DIL over her daughters.

I would reply but only to say :
"My children are not deprived of gifts, they have plenty of gifts from me. If they are deprived of anything it's having a lovely Christmas dinner at Grandmas. Also MIL and PIL are deprived of the company of their youngest grandchildren on Christmas Day, all because of your actions. I heard you and it hurt my feelings"

What kind of Christmas do they want FFS? How old are you Nieces and Nephews? I don't suppose they are young enough to believe in Santa anymore. So what your SILS are really saying is that they want to shove their kids on Nintendo's and get pissed?

Tell DH too, he needs to speak up for you, it's his family afterall.

What next? If they apologise and re-invite you what will you do? What do you want from this situation now? id be having a lovely relaxed christmas with my children, how lovely to not have to go anywhere-especially as it's to compete with weapons grade bitches. I hope you have nice day with your kids.

Ive just read the whole thread and Imabsolutely ragin for you.

The first reply would have made me cry. What an absolute arsehole.

Yes, wallypops has v good advice. I do think you need to tell DH, now that you have told his family what you think he needs to know your side of things. Wouldn't put it past one of them to send him an email ( does he have email there - sorry for being so stupid?!) being 'concerned' for the kid and your MIL.

What a horrible situation for you to be in.

'the kids' obv. iPad and cooking - bad combo for typing replies!!

I am and :( for you OP. Family shouldn't behave like this at Christmas. Do not allow them to make you feel bad about this, as you have done nothing wrong. I really feel for your poor DH too, who is away from his wife & kids at Christmas and no doubt expected his family to look out for you.

Your PIL were in the wrong to bow to pressure from your SILs and they should have told them where to go. However, I kind of feel sorry for them too as I bet they will regret their weakness all day tomorrow and beyond.

As for your SILs, I hope they choke on their civilised fucking turkey.

I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow with your kids, it can still be special and magical for all of you. And you are better off spending Christmas alone than being with a bunch of twats who don't deserve your company.

I too think you should ignore that text. You stay dignified in all of this. I do think you need to tell your DH though. Make it very clear that it's not MILs fault, I really think he would want to know, and presumably he will try and phone PILs on Christmas?

Oh my goodness what a prize bitch I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of a reply. She will feel far worse if you just ignore her. I feel so sorry for you

They have been horrid!

Have you previously told MIL that you overheard? What did she say when you told her?

I take it the 3x SILs are all MIL's daughters???

They sound horrible. Clumsy, I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow with your DC. They won't miss a couple of presents from the SILs at all. I'm sure there will be plenty of other presents.

I'd be tempted to respond back to the text along the lines of that your DH knows EXACTLY what's going on. But it probably is best to ignore/turn your phone off for the next few days.

They should be ringing you up grovelling, not sending you bitchy texts!!!!

I'd probably try to fudge things if I could because you'll probably bump into these women for years at MILs. Any chance you could say one of the DCs was ill this morning and you couldn't answer the door because one of them was being sick? And perhaps suggest that they leave the presents with MIL when they are there for lunch tomorrow. After all, they wouldn't want the children to disturb their serene Christmas day. That way the kids get the presents and you don't have to see them.

But I do think MIL is partly to blame for not having the guts to stand up to her daughters.

Oh OP, so sorry. They sound truly horrid and it is such a shame your lovely PILs couldn't stand up to them. I would be tempted to reply with

'It is such a shame you cannot see how your selfish behaviour has really hurt the children and I, we were really looking forward to spending the day with family. Christmas is just that, a time for family, my husband is serving abroad and my family are in the US - spending Christmas Day at PILs was really important to us, especially given the circumstances. Presents are material - being loved, welcome and wanted is what truly matters.'

Hoping that whatever happens, you and your DC have a truly wonderful day xxx

Are you sure this isn't Shiny's SIL's side of the story at last? Scratching my head trying to figure out how all this could be real.

I would reply "Yes, I am sorry that you have created the atmosphere and made me feel this way too, especially when my DH is away for Christmas and our DC were looking forward to spending the day with their extended family so much.
PIL are of course welcome to visit us anytime, as I said before. Enjoy your Christmas."

lljkk Iirc, Shiny's BIL was coming back for xmas, OP's hubby isnt back til april.

'Respond in isolation on the was at the centre with DC?'

Where's Shiney's thread - I haven't seen that one.

I think she may be at the walk in centre - her dc are poorly too.

Clumsy when you get home smash a glass to complete your trinity of bad luck.

Nasty, deluded text from SIL does not warrant a response, definitely ignore. Unless you want to simply tell her she either "a weapons grade bitch" or a "big cunt", both or which made me snort with laughter.

I agree that you should try to give your DH a brief outline so that he is prepared for it when they bombard him with tales of how unreasonable and ungrateful you are.

shiney's thread

Thanks, I read that several times and couldnt understand it.

I need to see Shineys thread.

Does anyone have a link?

X posted.

and no, it can't be as the children in shiney's thread are all young