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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have hid and not answered door......

327 replies

Clumsyoaf · 24/12/2012 08:58

Aibu? 830 this morning my SILs their DHs kids etc turn up at front door.... Can see they are laden with presents but I didn't open the door. My children and I have been excluded from lunch tomorrow and I guess I'm still raging mad. On top of which my 4 yr old has been unwell overnight and here's me hair scraped back off white (ahem grey) holey pyjamas whilst they all look like something out of dynasty with their matching handbags and shoes!

So would I bu to not answer door, respond to messages etc or respond with " I'm actually rather upset that my children and I are not welcome at the lunch tomorrow so which would have meant more to us than your gifts do please don't worry about bringing them round. - clumsy."

Thanks, don't want to respond until I can think objectively and mn us great for perspective! Btw I didn't know or expect them to be coming... Completely random visit as they all descended on in laws last night from various parts of the country.

OP posts:
Ilovecake1 · 27/12/2012 05:53

Hope your all ok clumsy....just hope your DD is out of hospital and on the mend.

SaraBellumHertz · 27/12/2012 06:10

Hope your DD is ok.

SugaricePlumFairy · 27/12/2012 08:49

Hi clumsy, hope the day was ok wherever you were.

How's your dc feeling? Xmas Smile

Witchofthenorth · 27/12/2012 11:08

Hi Clumsy...hope your dd is ok and your all home Xmas Smile

goodmum123 · 27/12/2012 21:14

Hi clumsy,
So sad for you, just read this horrific thread and hope to goodness your little ones are okay. Please let us know.

When u r better, do not reply to any of their texts. I have been through something similar with a very toxic sil and step mil who did dreadful things when I had severe pnd. (Crying now as nearly attempted suicide over it).

Well, one year later things are so much better. This is how I got through......
1, ignore ignore ignore and smile sweetly. You've text and said your piece and that is enough (I did the same)

2, I never rose to their toxic bait ( nasty birthday cards from 70s saying many happy returns, hoping you get everything you deserve) again they stopped sending stuff when I didn't respond.

3, sending presents to my little girl when they had nearly taken me away from her ( I simply returned to sender, no note, in brown wrapping paper) after a year I now do not get anything in the post and no more toxic inlaws.

Stay strong and merry Christmas xxx

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas · 27/12/2012 21:39

Hope your DD is getting better xx

fosterdream · 28/12/2012 12:38

Is your DD okay? Hope you she is.

Gryffindor · 28/12/2012 23:05

Bump

Ilovecake1 · 29/12/2012 10:21

Bump

whatatwat · 29/12/2012 13:58

any news?

Ruprekt · 29/12/2012 16:25

Am not sure she will be back Sad

SauvignonBlanche · 29/12/2012 16:52

Bloody hell! Xmas Shock
I hope the OP is OK.

Gryffindor · 29/12/2012 18:15

OP, please come back and let us know how you and your DD are. Worried!

cees · 29/12/2012 18:25

I'm another one hoping you and your kids are ok.

whatsleep · 30/12/2012 13:35

Hope your all ok xx

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 31/12/2012 10:45

Hi sorry for not coming back sooner, it's been a stressful time. I take back every single negative thing I have said about DH family. Reading back I'm quite embarrassed.

My dd was taken into hospital and was then transferred to a hospital in west London - after endless tests she has been diagnosed with coeliac disease. It means her body can't tolerate any sort of gluten. The consultant drew me a diagram of a normal healthy intestine and then showed me what my dds looked like... All twisted and mangled. Hopefully in time it will get better as long as there is no gluten in her diet.

My SILs have been a complete godsend, my ds has been with them, they have taken it in turns to look after him so that I can be there for dd. they have come to hospital everyday to give me breaks to shower etc so dd isn't left on her own. They have provided me with a much needed support network, I will never forget how much they gave done for me over the last week.

I guess at a time like this you realise what's really important.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/12/2012 10:49

So glad to hear that your dd is ok AND that your in-laws rallied around and gave you the support that you needed. Perhaps they also learned that a sophisticated Christmas isn't important either x

pigletmania · 31/12/2012 10:50

I am so sorry to hear about your poor dd. I am very pleased that your SIL have been great, it's great that things have turned around for the better with your dh sisters

Sunnywithshowers · 31/12/2012 10:58

I hope your DD is well soon - it's good that they've found out why she's ill. And I'm really glad your ILs have rallied round, that's fantastic.

Big hugs xx

HollaAtMeSanta · 31/12/2012 11:02

Great that the SILs have come good I bet they felt AWFUL and hope your DD starts feeling better soon.

annielouisa · 31/12/2012 11:06

My thoughts are with you and I hope your DD starts to recover. My feelings are that sometimes families get things wrong but what is important was that when you really needed them they were not found wanting.

ImperialSantaKnickers · 31/12/2012 11:13

So pleased your ILs have stepped up to the plate when the shit hit the fan. Best love to DD Thanks for her and you.

wheredidiputchristmas · 31/12/2012 11:30

I so glad that your dd is getting better.

Hopefully this has made your Inlaws think about their behaviour and they won't behave so badly again.

outtolunchagain · 31/12/2012 11:36

Clumsy so pleased that your daughter is now getting the best treatment . Don't feel guilty about your in laws , sometimes we all need reminding about how important family is , they probably feel guilty too , but none of it is as important as your baby ds's health .

I think there are quite a few mums of coeliacs on here , when you get a chance you could do a search . I recall there is one lady who is coeliac herself and has two maybe three coeliac children.

Most of all look after yourself , have you managed to speak to your dh , he must be pretty worried about you all

outtolunchagain · 31/12/2012 11:36

Sorry meant baby dd