DP, may be so tired that I need to check my reasonableness...

[MamaGeekChic]

So annoyed at DP, he had his works day out yesterday, started at 1pm just a few of them going for a meal and bowling. He didn't have a key and then his phone went off at 9pm so couldn't get in touch with him so had to sit up & wait on him coming in as I couldn't sleep with the door open. He rolled in drunk and 1pm and fell asleep on the living room floor, DD woke and 5am and is now up for the day at 6.20ish... I'm sooo tired. I'm supposed to be meeting my friends today for our annual present swap lunch and I just can't face it, he's just had a massive go at me because I said he was selfish for going out without keys and not getting in touch. I'm still working right through christmas, I spent all day yesterday (working form home) dealing with visitors and DD while he was out, then trying to get the shopping we need, then last night organising his present (wish I hadn't bothered now). We've got no food shopping yet or anything and loads of wrapping to do, which is all left to me, did I mention i'm working on monday? So tired I'm sat here in tears. sorry, just needed a safe space to rant and check if I'm being to hard on him? He's somehow managing to make out that it's entirely me in the wrong.

TheNebulousBoojum

How have I been robbed of any compassion when I have clearly stated that I understand that some people have far from perfect partners ?
Seriously , I can't be arsed with arguing because some people have nothing better to do .
I simply came on here to give my opinion to the OP because she had posted in AIBU.

When I read that she was " sooo tired " and couldn't face meeting her friends because she hadn't had much sleep , well I thought it a little pathetic . It's not as if she was performing major brain surgery today was it ?

As I said before , I'm entitled to my opinion and if you don't like it I really don't care .

I would have just left the door open and gone to bed.

I think this is just one of those situations where you are tired and stressed due to the pressure we all put ourselves under at this time of year. It was thoughtless to forget his key and not charge his phone, but if it's not a regular thing, I think I'd just let it go.

I would go on your lunch and leave your DD with her father, which is what I think you're planning to do. Then, when you come home from the lunch, you can either do what you need to do then, or perhaps get it done tomorrow after both of you have had a chance to recover. You do have my sympathy though, lack of sleep under any circumstances is awful.

I also don't think tiredness top trumps helps anyone, it just causes arguments. Every person needs different amounts of sleep, so whereas some could easily manage on four hours sleep, some would be like a zombie. I don't have children, but I do have terrible insomnia and manage an hour or so a night. I don't try and top anyone, but instead offer my sympathy to others who also have a lack of sleep for whatever reason.

The macho mums have galumphed onto this thread.
"OP, why didn't you go to sleep with the door unlocked? Only pathetic wimps worry about burglars. Me, I could fight off a gang of 10 burglars while breastfeeding my twins".

seoladair.
Yes I would have left the door unlocked.
I have a window open all night for the cats anyway.

I'm not macho, but I did say I'd leave the door unlocked. Have done it many times accidentally. I confess I do have a dog that barks whenever the outside security light comes on, however I now sleep through her barking!

I'd sleep with the door unlocked as well.
I'd do it as a one off so my husband could get in after his night out without disturbing my sleep.
I'm practical like that.

at the pp who took her DH home early from the party. That's embarrassing in front of others: embarrassing for him, as an adult with his own mind, and for you because demonstrating an inability to put your own children to bed is a bit pathetic and incompetent.

OP, I think if it happens again just go to bed (door locked) and answer the doorbell when he arrives. It won't necessarily wake your child and even if it does, you'll at least get some amount of sleep and not the frustration you had last night, then you won't be left so fraught.

"What do you mean, you couldn't fight burglars while breastfeeding the twins/triplets/whatever? Do you not have feet? Can you not kickbox?
Pathetic. Some women are just so weak."

And seoladair, the bloke was back at one in the morning.
I often go to my bed at that time, and lock up then.
Where do you live that you are so paranoid?
Oh, and macho mums .
I am the world's biggest wimp.

Nope - you'd think I was much more of a wimp! I do think there is a battalion of Valkyries on Mumsnet....

I must admit I do live in the middle of nowhere in the Highlands with a zero crime rate.
I never lock my door when I go out during the day either.

Hey Jemma - you are my brother's ex right? She's the only other person I can think of who comes up with this kind of cr@p? For what it's worth, I'm not a single mother. My mum was a single mum of five though, so I think I have teensy weensy idea of what it's like though...

No love, I've been doing the housework and getting christmas ready for my kids while my husband works away from home for a week. Not sitting about on my arse thinking lalalala what shall I say on Mumsnet

I think the point surely is that comparisons like this are stupid. Everybody has difficult times and times when they feel like they can't get out of bed and do it all over again, and they deserve to be able to complain about it without people saying you can't possibly feel like sh!t because other people have it so much worse.

Its pointless trying to get someone like you to understand so I will give up trying because its not getting through. Its a bit like talking to a brick wall.

Just wondering why you seem to be trying to stir up this thread, let it be ffs.

Thesecondcoming

Forgot to say, everythng you have written is spot on.

Wow this has got a bit shouty!

'I fail to see how one bloke forgetting his key and getting in at 1am is equivalent..'

No one is saying that it is equivalent, the only one playing TT is Jemma.

If I was I'd point out that you shouldn't be complaining about all that socialisation and need to attend parties and swimming lessons as my child has AS and was never ever invited to a birthday party or a social event by NTs past the age of 3.
And I work a 60+ hour week and have done for years and years (grumble, snivel, whinge mylifeissohardandnooneunderstands)

We were saying it's possible to have a challenging life and still have a bit of sympathy for someone whose idea of difficult is different.

I could sleep happily with my front door unlocked, my DS would have violently attacked any intruder. It's why we had few unfamiliar visitors for years. Any burglar/rapist would regret startling my DS for the few seconds of consciousness he was afforded.

I'm not playing tit for tat Boojum, I have every right to post .

From what I can see YOU are another one who is trying to poke the fire, and all because I thought the OP was overreacting, well this is AIBU isn't it ?, therefore if people start a thread on here then surely they are going to have differences of opinion given to them.

Now I'm bored.

You remind me of my 5 year old DD Jemma.

She's obviously gifted then hobnobs.

Merry Christmas everyone (including the shouty macho mums)
Peace and goodwill....