DP, may be so tired that I need to check my reasonableness...

[MamaGeekChic]

So annoyed at DP, he had his works day out yesterday, started at 1pm just a few of them going for a meal and bowling. He didn't have a key and then his phone went off at 9pm so couldn't get in touch with him so had to sit up & wait on him coming in as I couldn't sleep with the door open. He rolled in drunk and 1pm and fell asleep on the living room floor, DD woke and 5am and is now up for the day at 6.20ish... I'm sooo tired. I'm supposed to be meeting my friends today for our annual present swap lunch and I just can't face it, he's just had a massive go at me because I said he was selfish for going out without keys and not getting in touch. I'm still working right through christmas, I spent all day yesterday (working form home) dealing with visitors and DD while he was out, then trying to get the shopping we need, then last night organising his present (wish I hadn't bothered now). We've got no food shopping yet or anything and loads of wrapping to do, which is all left to me, did I mention i'm working on monday? So tired I'm sat here in tears. sorry, just needed a safe space to rant and check if I'm being to hard on him? He's somehow managing to make out that it's entirely me in the wrong.

oN THE RARE NIGHTS dh GOES OUT HE NEVER TAKES A KEY JUST IN CASE HE LOSES IT while pissed I do think you are just really pissed off and tired op. let it go nag at him for forgetting his key if you like but it really isn't a huge deal

I never said it was a huge deal, although at 5am this morning it felt like one!

you are replying like you are still peeved about it, you did ask a question and people are just responding yet you are jumping down virtual throats ,

Not the way I intend it to come accross... except to Jemma.

*across, lack of sleep clearly affects my ability to spell

Criiiiinge at the 8pm picker upper!

Why would you want someone that drunk to put your child to bed anyway?

Hey Jemma, are you my brother's ex? You sound just as lovely as her

OP, my DH forgets his keys regularly too. And will ring the doorbell and wake the kids if he can't raise me on the phone. Drives me nuts. I would also worry about poor DD with a grumpy hungover sod, but I think I would do it.

OP go to your nice lunch, I bet you will feel better with some nice food, a glass of vino and catching up with old friends. Leave DD with DP, Get him to do the food shopping, and enjoy the time with your friends, as planned. Merry Christmas.

He's just got up and DD's just pooed- perfect timing!

Karma

I haven't got a 'serious chip' on my shoulder about the single parent thing mama, I merely tried in my first post to get you put things into perspective because to me you came across as so sorry for yourself because you hadn't had a good nights sleep and so I wanted to let you see that many women don't have the luxury of sleeping when they want to !

You then decided to go on the attack and jump down my throat. And thats why imo you come across as a whiny, spoilt woman who mothers her husband.

Have a good lunch with your mates OP, his turn to pick up the slack now! Enjoy!

I would have locked the door and gone to bed.

YANBU he was an arse, ut don't let it spoil your day, it's pretty minor in the scheme of things. I'm sure you'll feel much better when you meet your friends and you can relax for a bit

Jemma are you seriously saying lone parents have it harder than anyone else? Because if you are that is breathtakingly naive

OP, what time do you need to leave? Have you got time for a quick nap now to recharge your batteries?

Go to the spare room if you're worried about the bed smelling of hangover. Make sure he changes the bedding while you're out.

And then go out and have a fun lunch with friends.

Jemma- merely pointing out that most people don't get to sleep whenever they want, single parent or otherwise. That doesn't change the fact that I'm tired.

Thanks everyone else, I've just had a bath, need to leave in a hour, will go get ready and write a list

Maytheodds

Let's just say that lone parents definitely don't have it easier , unless of course you compare them to women partnered to men who are abusive , very lazy etc.

And that's not being naive .

Ahahahahaha. Oh shit, you're serious? You're actually going for competitive tiredness? Do you want my DH? And his parents?

Mummytomog

Obviously you can't seem to understand my last post where I said "unless you compare them to women partnered to men who are abusive or very lazy etc".

In simple terms this means that unless you are partnered with a no good man then yes you do have it easier than a lone parent !

You are obviously not a lone parent so how the hell can you disagree when you have no experience of it ?
Can you grasp this now ?

I don't think you can generalise. Everyone's circumstances are different.

I have 2 good friends.

One has a chronic illness that makes her very tired and in pain all the time, 2 children and a husband who is terminally ill. She also cares for her elderly, sick parents.

My other friend is a single mum to 3 children. Fortunately her ex is a reasonable person and they share the child care 50/50. She works full time, but is in good health and has a child free weekend twice a month.

Neither are typical, but I know which one has the easier life.

IMO if you have a partner, the father of your children, it is reasonable to expect that they will behave like an adult, whether you are married, live together or apart. The problems arise when people do not behave in a reasonable manner.

Sorry - over use of the word reasonable.

1am isn't really late! Its prob a one off that he went out and got in a state! It's Xmas ffs!

But being a single parent seems to have robbed you of any sense of compassion or sympathy for anyone else who is having a bit of a problem. Even if to you it is small stuff. Your life may seem unbelievably easy compared to some other posters, but I expect you'd like a sympathetic ear if you were complaining about things.

What TheNebulousBoojum said.

I assume all of you having a go at the OP never ever complain about anything,.

Really?

PS. I'd be pissed off too.