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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU That Mumsnet won't allow any discussion on the Sally Roberts case?

279 replies

Zealey · 21/12/2012 17:12

There's something about her that is media hungry - if she hasn't sold her story to a tabloid or glossy mag in the next week then I'll take it back. But more importantly, WHY is Mumsnet towers deleting any threads discussing the case?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 21/12/2012 19:17

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everlong · 21/12/2012 19:17

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dikkertjedap · 21/12/2012 19:19

Zealey - you don't know what will happen to this little boy with or without treatment, neither does his mum, neither do mumsnetters, neither do doctors.

All cancer cases are different, treatments are hugely complicated with potentially very nasty and in some cases irreversible side effects.

The consultant in the Great Ormond Street documentary (think it was the second one) made it very clear (I am paraphrasing): we are walking a tightrope, the treatment has to be strong enough to kill the cancer but if it is too strong it kills the patient. Unfortunately we are learning all the time. We don't know where this line lies, when it goes wrong, the patient dies.

All those people (including doctors quoted in the press) who are SO SO CERTAIN that he dies within three months without treatment and that he has a 85% chance to survive with radiotherapy with at most a loss of 5 points on his IQ are less than scientific. To me they seem almost evangelical, rather than entering in a meaningful debate about what we know and what we don't know about medulloblastoma and the treatment of it. Also, all this talk about that he receives the gold standard in treatment is a bit bitter. Whatever they say, the UK has not a brilliant reputation in cancer treatment. I can think of a few better places.

For example, I can tell you, as a teacher, that assuming this boy is of average intelligence (eg around 100) if he loses 5 points he would have an IQ of about 95. The doctors who are treating him have said that they expect him to be able to enter mainstream school with support. A child with an IQ of 95 does not need and will not get additional support.

My DH works in this field. He is absolutely appalled about how the NHS Trust and the doctors involved are handling this. The mother is in an awful position and ultimately this is not helping this little boy. A solution needs to be sought through helping the mother and the boy not scaring them and forcing them.

hoodoo12345 · 21/12/2012 19:21

If i was in her position i would have to go with the advice of the doctors, i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing their was a treatment out there and i hadn't attempted it, even with the possible side affects.
But that is me.

GothAnneGeddes · 21/12/2012 19:21

I would like to know why she refused him having anti-emetic medication. That seems utterly cruel and wrong.

It concerns me that a mother can overrule normal care like this. What about Neon's rights?

everlong · 21/12/2012 19:27

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dikkertjedap · 21/12/2012 19:29

Also, even if she has a deal with a tabloid, this may simply be a way to raise money to fund treatment for Neon in Germany/US etc. She would be the first to look for treatment abroad and she won't be the last.

UnacceptableAmountOfSherry · 21/12/2012 19:29
Sad What an awful, awful situation.

I really feel for this mum and the slating she has come in for (not on MN as this is first thread I've seen about it/her)

The 'fame hungry' label is not a well thought out insult is it? It's a nasty, cheap shot.

Hasn't she been thrust into the spotlight by the same dark media who thought a newsworthy item today was cameras in the faces of grieving parents, family and friends at funerals over in the US? I would imagine it has been easier for her to deal with the insensitive, intrusive media by selling her story. How many of us would know the right way to behave if thrown into a hellish situation like this one

dikkertjedap · 21/12/2012 19:29

Sorry, meant 'wouldn't be the first' in previous post.

MrsDeVere · 21/12/2012 19:29

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theleanandhungrytype · 21/12/2012 19:35

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everlong · 21/12/2012 19:35

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specialsubject · 21/12/2012 19:35

BBC today said that she does have a tie-up with a newspaper or magazine (can't remember which) so she wasn't talking to reporters.

I have my opinions on her actions, but on the 'say something nice or shut up' principle I will shut up. I am so sorry for the little boy and hope he pulls through.

everlong · 21/12/2012 19:36

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everlong · 21/12/2012 19:42

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MaryChristmaZEverybody · 21/12/2012 19:46

MrsDeVere

MaryChristmaZEverybody · 21/12/2012 19:46

And anyone else who has been the awful position of having to make these decisions Sad

Greensleeves · 21/12/2012 19:55

Maybe HQ should just delete these threads

It just causes too much pain.

maillotjaune · 21/12/2012 20:00

Smirking and pouting? FFS.

Look at what MrsDV has said. Most of us have no idea how that feels. Stop fucking judging this woman.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 21/12/2012 20:02

Are some of you on the same planet as me. There are parents here on this thread who have lost their children to cancer, who have a far better idea what this woman is going through, who are saying that it is impossible for most of us to imagine what this woman is going through. I believe them.

Just be grateful, you are not in her shoes - I'm bloody glad not to be.

Oh and I reported the thread yesterday because it was nasty person attacks on a woman with a very sick child rather than an intelligent reasoned debate on informed consent to medical procedures.

crashdoll · 21/12/2012 20:03

I hope the people who are judging this mother so harshly read MrsD's heart wrenching post and reconsider their positions.

MrsDeVere - there really are no words Sad

Theicingontop · 21/12/2012 20:06

None of you have the right to judge this woman.

God forbid, if I were in her position I'd do so much research my head would explode, before just going along with what the doctors told me. Maybe the research she did didn't automatically affirm the medical advice she was given about prolonging the life of her child. Good for her for caring enough to try and make an informed decision.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 21/12/2012 20:07

nasty personal not nasty person

FreudiansSlipper · 21/12/2012 20:08

she is very media hungry

how have you come to that conclusion

she is doing what she thinks is best for her son others who have children go through the same health issues agree

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet · 21/12/2012 20:16

Peace and love people

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