Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed no-one gave me anything?

129 replies

NickNacks · 19/12/2012 18:27

I'm a childminder and mind 6 children altogether. Last Friday I gave out gifts to all the children, gifts and cards to the parents that had been made with the children and this morning I went to watch the school nativity as I knew some mums couldn't make it.

Today was the last day before Christmas and I received one solitary card from one family. I know it sound a bit greedy but I wasn't expecting diamonds just a little 'Its the thought that counts' token box of chocs would have been lovely.

My husband thinks I'm a bit unreasonable to be miffed but I don't, I'm genuinely a bit upset that they didn't think.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
bedmonster · 19/12/2012 18:53

Yanbu. My friend is a childminder and I'm surprised every year that none of her minded children's parents get her so much as a card. She is lovely, always goes above and beyond, going to their Xmas plays as someone said above, sports days, makes cakes with them for mothers day the works.
Given the threads on here about the anguish over which chocs/biscuits/Flowers/VOUCHERS?!?! People send in for teachers it seems sad that less people can be arsed with buying a little token something for the cm.
OP, yanbu.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 19/12/2012 18:54

Yanbu a card is the least you should get

emsyj · 19/12/2012 18:58

DD's last day is tomorrow - this morning I put a card for CM and each of her 3 helpers in the bag, along with £30 John Lewis vouchers for CM and £20 each for the helpers. We couldn't afford to give them much last year as I had just walked out of my horrible job so it was just bubble bath and I felt a bit guilty, so this year I've spent more to make up for it. DD goes there 4 days a week at the moment and is very happy there - I can't put a price on that, and we can afford to give now so we do.

If they couldn't afford a gift, they should show their appreciation in some other way - a card at the very least, and as another poster said a tin of chocs is less than a fiver in the big supermarkets.

FestiveFiggy · 19/12/2012 18:59

Yanbu

My cm has just been sent away with 5 bottles of wine a bunch of flowers 3 annuals for her kids and some chocs. She's a bloody gem for us and almost cried saying she never gets anything for her. Ok it's our first Xmas with a cm and may have gone overboard (and I'm from a pub owning family so always over tip) but I don't understand why people don't!!

I'd buy u a present!!

cece · 19/12/2012 19:00

YANBU

DS1 took a hamper for his CM on his last day on Tuesday.
DS2 will be taking fizz and chocolates tomorrow for his CM (as it's his last day).

And yes I have two CM!

YourHandInMyHand · 19/12/2012 19:01

When I was a child minder I would be given a xmas present, or DS would. TBH the things that stick the most are pictures the kids did for me, leaving cards with lovely words in them, being kept in touch with, etc.

I agree though that YANBU, even getting the kids to do a card would have been nice. Bear in mind though a lot of parents busy working my still not have got all their cards written and presents wrapped. There's still time.

... Goes off to wrap presents for the T.A. and childminder....... Smile

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake · 19/12/2012 19:02

I agree with with your husband, yabu to be miffed about it. You are effectively an employee of these parents, you are paid to do a job. I certainly don't expect my boss to buy me a gift.

blackeyedsusan · 19/12/2012 19:03

a card and a lovely thankyou would have been nice. we can't afford much buut do do a token present for all the staff.. and there are a lot of them between 2 classes..

HaveToWearHeels · 19/12/2012 19:04

shocking that people don't aknowledge the long hours and hard work CM's put in. I look on them as an extention to DD's family, they have nearly as much input into her life as I do. I still send a card at Christmas and flowers on Birthday to her old CM, who had her from 9mths to 3 yrs.

PartridgeInASpicyPearTree · 19/12/2012 19:06

YANBU - I think that really is a bit mean to not even send a card!

fuzzypicklehead · 19/12/2012 19:11

I'm skint. As in, struggling to afford regular food over the Christmas period, let alone fancy Christmas dinner.

But I was up late into the night making presents for the childminder and teachers because I would hate it if they thought I didn't appreciate their hard work. So no, YANBU. It is the thought that counts.

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 19:12

YANBU at all shw stingy, not giving anything to the erson that looks after teir most orecious thing in the world

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 19:14

I am a STAHM so no CM but gave dd teachers in er cass a home made card (by her) and choccies and biscuits

HoneyMurcott · 19/12/2012 19:19

YANBU. You are the carer for their children and contribute to their children's well-being? I always buy nice pressies for DD's child minder and now teacher in recognition of the important role they play in her life. I know money is tight for a lot of people, but as you say, a simple box of chocs would have been nice. Let's hope they still bring something in.

LifeofPo · 19/12/2012 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

apostrophethesnowman · 19/12/2012 19:24

I don't expect to be given a present for doing my job. Why are childminders/teachers/milkmen/binmen any different? You are paid by them already.

I genuinely don't understand anyone expecting to be tipped or given a present to do their job.

apostrophethesnowman · 19/12/2012 19:25

them, being the parents. Sorry.

benbobaggins · 19/12/2012 19:31

YANBU, I made each of my DS' nursery teachers a gingerbread teddy bear, I even iced their names on them, too me bloody ages but felt good when I gave them this morning Grin

whois · 19/12/2012 19:32

YANBU how hard is it to grab a bottle/box of chocs and a card??

anewyear · 19/12/2012 19:37

Frustrated - she is self employed, she pays her own tax & ins etc.
NOT employed effectivley or otherwise, she is paid for a service, just like you pay your electricity/gas bill company....

anewyear · 19/12/2012 19:40

I would not personally expect anything however, as times are hard at the mo for the majority of people.
A card made at home from the family would be nice tho I have to say.

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 19:41

A little appreciation and kindness dies not hurt apostrophe. Especially they are looking after your most important things

StrawberryMojito · 19/12/2012 19:42

YANBU, we sent a card and chocolates to the nursery.

montage · 19/12/2012 19:51

I'm surprised at that gap between childminder and teacher presents tbh.

I wonder how much of the teacher present stuff is purely because people feel forced into by expectations at this stage - the whole culture of it and the fact that most other parents seem to do it. People who can ill afford it still feel they have to now sometimes.

I do think a card with a nice note is nice at end of year or when a child is moving on from a minder though.

apostrophethesnowman · 19/12/2012 20:06

pigletmania people do show them appreciation by paying their fees.
They're no different to anyone else being paid to do a job.