To be disappointed no-one gave me anything?

[NickNacks]

I'm a childminder and mind 6 children altogether. Last Friday I gave out gifts to all the children, gifts and cards to the parents that had been made with the children and this morning I went to watch the school nativity as I knew some mums couldn't make it.

Today was the last day before Christmas and I received one solitary card from one family. I know it sound a bit greedy but I wasn't expecting diamonds just a little 'Its the thought that counts' token box of chocs would have been lovely.

My husband thinks I'm a bit unreasonable to be miffed but I don't, I'm genuinely a bit upset that they didn't think.

So AIBU?

[breatheslowly]

McChristmasPants2012 - don't worry about buying or making anything, just spend 10 min writing a card to the whole of the staff in the nursery room or the teacher for school, saying thank you and explaining how much their hard work means to you/your family. Most people find recognition very rewarding and would be just as happy with a really heartfelt thank you as with a box of chocolates.

[McChristmasPants2012]

i don't have the time.

this month i have worked 7am-2:30pm then 5pm till 8pm I havent even seen my children properly. I am in work before they get up and home by the time they are in bed. DH is working nights and is doing 6pm-6am.

I have only just sat down after doing the housework and sorting uniforms ect.

so if anybody can pick a time for me to do a homemade card I will

[breatheslowly]

You don't need to make a homemade card, a normal Xmas card is enough.

[noblegiraffe]

Who puts your kids to bed? Could they do a Christmas card with them?

[Jinsei]

I don't buy the "no time" excuse tbh. You could have written a note in the time it took you to post on MN. It doesn't need to be a homemade card - just a few words of acknowledgement wold be enough. If you don't want to, or can't be arsed, then fair enough, but saying you don't have time is a bit of a lame excuse. Sorry!

[trixymalixy]

YANBU, I have given my cleaners a card and a tip, the nursery ladies chocolates and cards and DS's teacher chocolates and a card. I got vouchers from work, DH got a bottle of champagne. A lot of people get a little extra thank you at Christmas.

[trixymalixy]

Bugger, just realised I forgot the after school care ladies!

[LadyBeagleBaublesandBells]

So what jinsei said, just write a normal xmas card and get the kids to sign it, in whatever way they can.

[Arisbottle]

I think you are being unreasonable to expect a gift from anyone, especially someone you are not related to.

I say that as someone who buys my au pair a weekend away and a cash bonus every year. I hope she does not expect such gifts.

It is of course nice to receive them.

[madbengal]

I hope you do get something Nicknacks, my CM is amazing we always get for her and her daughter birthday & christmas pressies

[FellatioNelson]

I would feel very hurt and disillusioned about this, and I'm as hard as nails and not generally fussed about sentimentality. I think it was incredibly rude and selfish to not give you a small town of appreciation and a card to say thank you.

I wonder if the same children sent something in for the teacher? Admittedly if their mothers work FT they may just be disorganised up to their eyeballs and something might be dropped round later in the week, but if not, then you are quite right to feel upset.

Here, have a and some and some to cheer you up.

[FellatioNelson]

town? this bloody mac autocorrect is driving me crackers.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yanbu

[OhSantaClaussOhOh]

Well what stands out for me is:
1- no one apart from one family did anything for the OP (cards or presents). I wonder why that is. If only one or two hadn't, that wuld have been a different issue.
2- if all the people on here are to be believe, we all give presents/cards to the people we get in contact with, the cleaners, after school care etc... People we are paying to do a specific job.
In reality, I am sure that a lot of people don't do that, just as not everyone gives something to the teachers for example.
3- why do you all seem to think it's more important to write a card to somebody who is just doing its job than to spend a nice, quite time with your own dcs? That people are only mean if they say they din't have time/money to do so??

[Groovee]

My childminder received a card and her favourite wine from us. It's just a little thank you for everything she does for us as she is so flexible for me.

[LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake]

Sure, it's 'business' but it's also something else, it's a personal relationship.

It's the person who cleans your childs bum, comforts them when they're crying. Does everything for them that you would do if you were there.

It's nothing like the bin man. I cannot even imagine not getting a card.

[MrsMelons]

I understand what people are saying and that it is your job for which you are paid so there should be no expectation and that is absolutely right - however I do a normal job in an office and my manager always gets me a bottle of wine and I always get my assistant a token gift as like you say it is the thought that counts.

YANBU to expect a card from each family to say thanks etc. At the end of the day it is nice for them to acknowledge you actually take care of their children - much more important job than mine (I'm an accountant) and personally I would acknowledge a CM/teacher/nursery assistant with something at xmas. I pay my cleaner every week but still gave her an extra weeks money this week as I do appreciate what she does and my life would be a lot more difficult without her.

[ReindeerHooves]

Our CM only has dd1 after school for three days a week, about nine hours in total, but she's ace and I wouldn't dream of not getting her a present. It's only a token as we don't have an awful lot of spare cash but it's given with love. DD1 also writes her a card and she gets one from us as a family too. She's flexible with hours, she doesn't charge for holidays and offered to have dd1 for free if I needed her to do any extra hours when dh had a protracted hospital stay last year.

If we couldn't afford to get her anything I think I'd probably get dd1 to make her a card and possibly bake a cake for her or something.

I think that anyone looking after my children deserves a medal ought to be dealt with as more than just a tradesperson or service provider. I don't give cards or presents to the postie or bin men for instance. However our relationship with our CM especially dd1's, is a loving and personal one and as such she's on our Christmas list.

OhSantaClaus I'm not sure what you're trying to say with your first point - that the OP should read something into the lack of card/gift regarding her performance? Surely if a parent had an issue they'd either talk to her or send their child elsewhere?

OP I sincerely hope you'll be back in a couple of days with a few 's because the parents have rocked up with a card at least. I don't think YABU at all.

[BobbiFleckmann]

what culture / religion are your mindees? do they actually "do" christmas? With two working parents only just starting time off, it's not unreasonable for them to have to panic madly and get everythign done this weekend and drop something off on Monday...

[Pancakeflipper]

YANBU

You look after the most precious little person in their life and they cannot be arsed to send you a card or a small gift. Well bah humbug.

[BornToFolk]

3- why do you all seem to think it's more important to write a card to somebody who is just doing its job than to spend a nice, quite time with your own dcs? That people are only mean if they say they din't have time/money to do so??

It is possible to do both you know. I spent some lovely, quiet time with DS writing Christmas cards, which included one to his CM and the breakfast club supervisors.

DS likes them, they take good care of him and I appreciate the effort they put into it. A card (and a box of chocs for the CM) is not a lot to do.

[gettingeasier]

OP I hope they drop something off for you theres still plenty of time...

[theoriginalandbestrookie]

YANBU.
That's really sad. DS hasn't been to his childminders for 2 years but we still go round to deliver the Christmas card to her so she can see him ( maybe she doesn't want to but I'm hoping she does !)

When she CM for us I would give her a voucher for either shops or cinema and one year a little ornament of a child hugging a lady ( not as naff as it sounds)
Hope you have a nice Christmas.

[NickNacks]

Good point re religions.

The one family who have given me a card are Hindu. Another is Muslim but they do celebrate Christmas. The other 4 are Christian or no religion but celebrate Christmas.

This is the second Christmas (at least) that I have had all these mindees do I don't think it's a performance related protest. All the children are very happy here. Last year I received some lovely thoughtful things. Nothing expensive, but thoughtful.

And finally I know money is tight, parents work full time and it's tough to find spare time but all this applies to me too! I work full time, have three dc of my own and money is def tight.

Hey ho I'm sure I'll get over it :)

Many thanks for all the virtual gifts