to think its a bit off that the school insist kids have a cooked Christmas lunch, which I have to pay for and provide the veg?'

[Hippocrocopig]

Just as the title says really!

And to add insult to injury ds point blank refuses to eat it and packed lunches banned for the day.

Christmas will be ruined if one kid doesn't eat the same dinner as them? Seriously? Dudette, think about it.

Oh well,if the money/veg is the main thing, you don't have to contribute. All schools can do wrt activities like this, I think, is ask for voluntary contributions & find any shortfall from their funding.

I'm sure someone else will have a spare potato he can peel.

What will it cost though, a potato is pennies and a couple of pounds to save making a fuss isn't really a big deal is it? If you are in a really bad way finacially and can't afford it just send a note saying you can't afford it.

True where do you get off at being so vicious, are you a bloody parent, dont think so.

*perfect parent" i meant

TrueBlood are you that person who prowls Christmas parties, looking for women who aren't drinking, in order to make a huge fuss about how it's spoiling your night? You know, the one who will not shut up until in the end, the poor woman, who didn't want to tell anyone yet, ends up snarling, "I'm pregnant. Is that okay with you?" Are you she?

Send him in with a pack lunch. DD3 doesn't have OCD, but she is quite picky. DD1 and 2 are very, very adventurous (they try really, really disgusting looking/sounding/tasting stuff which I don't try even, and I consider myself pretty adventurous food-wise), but every child goes through a picky phase. If he has OCD (or OCD tendencies) that adds more reason.

Children shouldn't have to be forced to eat food, if they are picky, obviously you try and get them to eat, but to the point where they'd rather go hungry (as with this scenario possibly)? Christmas dinner at school is meant to be fun and happy, and if he doesn't feel happy about it, then he shouldn't have to either. If you don't feel happy about it either, then you shouldn't have to pay and provide some of the food. Although it's a good communal experience, individuals also have to be considered, and if a pack lunch works for you and your DS, then go for it.

Also trueblood, as well as the personal attack, I think there will be quite a few 7yr old kids in rural schools with similar things going on. I know a child in DD3'S class with OCD (only know this because we are close friends- she doesn't go on about it) we are a rural community and a very similar thing is happening. It's just as possible you're abusing someone who's not even in the same county or area as you, as abusing someone in your DC's class. Neither of them are good, or right.

Hippo she stuck her claws in my back and she dont even know me, i makes me wonder what people at the school really think of her, if she is deluded in thinking everyone likes her.

Because on here shes shown herself to arrogant and very rude.

Where is the idea coming from that the OP's child won't eat vegetables? She said: Ds is an extremely fussy eater, picky about the colour, size etc of the food on his plate. It cannot be touching and has be be sorted in his own particular way. ...Nothing in there about veg or lack of?

It's ridiculous to say that one child eating a sandwich will ruin the day for everyone else. Maybe the child is just spoilt and picky - we don't know just from reading her posts whether the OP is a PFB parent or just sensibly picking her battles with an anxious child - but even so, it's not going to bother anyone else so there's no issue.

I don't have it but having a friend with OCD I'm aware of the restrictions it puts on her life, and I know there's a damn sight more to it than "eat or go hungry"
I'm with those who say to get him to participate, but send in his packed lunch with a note, saying its there as a backup.
Working,with a child with OCD isn't the same as having a picky eater, it's truly distressing for,the child

PimpMyHippo I was wondering that!

Assuming it's an Englidh state school they can't legally require you to pay for any required activity (nor provide the veg & peeler). So you clearly don't have to comply.

And I think banning packed lunches and insisting on all children eating the catered meal (even if you weren't required to pay for it) is a bit obnoxious of the school and appears to completely ignore the many reasons parents might have chosen packed lunch in the first place. I suspect they haven't really thought about that side hard, just been caught up in the positive side of what they're trying to do.

I think the suggestion of sending him in with veg, a peeler and a nice packed lunch is a good one.

Alternatively, you could let them deal with the outcome when the potatoes and sprouts are touching and everything is covered in gravy. Depends how bad it would be if it all went wrong. It's possible peer pressure will make him more accepting, it's just one day so physically no lasting harm, but you don't want him to develop a bad attitude to group activities at school or school in general.

This thread has taken a strange turn.

OP the only thing you can do is provide your DS with a packed lunch and, if you can go in to explain what you are doing and your reasons.

The alternative is to allow your DS to take part in the food preparation and then have a packed lunch with the boys and girls having the Christmas meal. If you chose the latter you should not be expected to contribute financially.

Can. Open. Worms. Everywhere.

I think you have had some good advice. If you feel you know what you are going to do I would hide the thread.

I now fear for my safety and that of my son.

Send your ds with his usual lunch but also with a couple of spuds plus the money they are asking. Forewarn the teacher he may not eat the prepared meal but you would like him to have the choice. He may suprise everyone and tuck in with the others.
If you cannot afford it, send the packed lunch plus a note or email letting the school know things are tight. Dont stress about it.
If the school are really going to confiscate packed lunches then put a cereal bar or a little apple or banana in your ds's pocket- i would! But i dont think they will refuse him the lunch you have provided.
This is why am pleased my dc attended a primary and secondary school in an area where the school are under no illusions as to what people can/cannot/will/ will not provide extra while the kids are in school. This would of been completly laughed at in our local playground, we are a fairly deprived community, if you have more than 1 child at the school then the school asking for more than usual, and especially at this time at year then costs can escalate. I do sympathise with you op. A friend of mine has 3ds and some of the things she has been asked to provide for extras or special days at school have broke her budget , costumes, donations, trips, raffles, special sorts of paper - it all mounts up.

Why would you fear for your safety?

Do you feel certain that Trueblood is actually a fellow parent at your child's school? There's plenty of prima donna parents who would make similarly illogical posts all over the country.

in terms of the cost - the meat will be costing the school, as will the fuel to cook it and all the other ingredients - veg is only a small part of it.

I have a child who was similar to yours op and perseverance is the key; there are going to be many times when he has to control these issues in the future and you are doing him a disservice by not preparing him for this. The whole communal cooking together and eating together sounds like a good starting point for him and one which I think you should embrace