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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to scream my head off at my Nanny for putting my gorgeous new wool jumper in teh dryer!?

161 replies

happywith3 · 12/12/2012 21:29

Aaargh! It wasn't cheap and I lusted after it and have only worn it once. It was gorgeous and now it is shrunk! I found it hanging next to the dryer where we put the stuff to dry that's not to go in the dryer but obviusly it went into the dryer because there is pink/red (colour of the jumper) in the thing that catches the fluff. It looks like she realised she shouldn't have put it in the dryer and then hung it there to make it look like it had not gone in or half dried it in the dryer and then hung it. I feel like screaming! How will I tell her calmly in the morning....

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 13/12/2012 10:24

It's not reverse snobbery. I don't idealistically agree with 'servants'. My SIL has a few. Nanny for the holidays, a cleaner who she was complaining to me about as she'd not wiped the wall near the oven!

Laundry is the worst IMO, someone else dealing with your dirty clothes and underwear- it's degrading. In my mind if you make the mess you clear it up unless you're physically unable to do that. I was a cleaner as a student and I found it degrading so I stopped doing it.

FivesGoldNorks · 13/12/2012 10:34

Golden, does that also extend to "you grow the hair, so you cut and highlight it"?

fedupwithdeployment · 13/12/2012 10:40

My DH put my new LK Bennett wrap dress in the washing machine. Trashed it. I was furious. We are still married! Xmas Grin

We have APs. Generally they DO NOT do the washing - other than occasionally they will put on boys' stuff / hang clean stuff on the line. I ask them not to use the drier...one enthusastic AP wrecked something of mine. Another (on request) changed the boys' bedding (white / pale blue). And managed to wash cushion covers too - very thick heavy dark blue navy colour. The duvets were band new - and a pretty grim colour. She had no common sense, and did not last very long.

My sympathies OP.

HipHopOpotomus · 13/12/2012 11:08

Ah that is a bummer. I remember the day my cousin washed my brand new first ever white Egyptian cotton sheets with a bright red duvet cover, on HOT. The pink sheets made me cry Sad. I knew I was being a baby but I couldnt help but be upset.

On the bright side you can now upcycle them into some cosy wrist warmers

lionheart · 13/12/2012 11:12

She's probably worried about it or she would have told you.

Unless, of course, she is smaller than you and had an ulterior motive. Smile

Goldenbear · 13/12/2012 11:28

Fives the status of a cleaner is much lower than a hairdresser in society, in fact they are in totally different leagues and that is reflected in the prices that can be charged for haur cuts and the employee rights that they have. Cleaners often do not have the legal protection that their Employers would expect in their own jobs. Hairdressers can and will charge a greater amount of money depending on their skill. A hairdresser can earn as much and a higher hourly rate than their clients depending on where they work. It will not be the case that a cleaner will earn a greater HOURLY rate than their employer on any one job.

Hairdressing is arguably not considered a universal skill so you couldn't do it yourself and it be a good outcome. Cleaning is a universal skill - it can be as good as YOU want it to be but if you employ a cleaner you just don't want to clear up the mess you made yourself- there is no absence of skill stopping you. People therefore pay people less to do this for them and are effectively saying,'I'm too good to do this, you aren't because you'll accept payment for it.'

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/12/2012 11:34

Annoying but really......you should have washed it and then hung it well away from the dryer so that no confusion happened.

Just wear it and I am sure it will stretch to fit so to speak :)

MuffinPaws · 13/12/2012 11:38

You can unfelt to a small degree if you soak the jumper in a mild borax solution overnight then either shape it by tugging or hand it upside down on a washing line and weight it fairly heavily. I have used shoes or something heavy to drag the article down to lengthen it.
Bottled water in the arms if they have shrunk.

I agree with Betty, it will stretch when you wear it.

Sleepwhenidie · 13/12/2012 11:56

That's bollocks goldeneye, and an argument you could extend to any number of professions-street cleaners, rubbish collectors? Or do you sort all of that out yourself too because otherwise you are degrading people?

You may have found cleaning degrading, doesn't mean all cleaners do and I doubt many of them would thank you for abolishing their job on moral grounds. Employing a cleaner doesn't mean you consider that you are "too good" to do it yourself, just that for whatever reason, you either don't have the time or inclination to do it and are fortunate enough to be able to pay to get it done. And the person doing it may well feel quite fortunate to be able to have the job!

Btw I am pretty sure that cleaners around my way earn more per hour than many hairdressers!

mrsshackleton · 13/12/2012 12:03

When we had nannies, I had a strict rule, she didn't wash my clothes, only dcs and dh. I had a separate laundry basket and did my own washing to avoid such horrors. Though I did manage to sink dd's cashmere cardi the other day Xmas Blush

AfterEightMintyy · 13/12/2012 12:08

I can't imagine letting anyone do my laundry or make my bed. It seems far too intimate to me.

Jins · 13/12/2012 12:22

If people stopped having cleaners there would be a lot more people feeling the pinch than there are now.

leobear · 13/12/2012 13:26

In a good nanny-employer relationship, the nanny becomes almost like part of the family. I have never asked my nanny to do our washing, but she just does it! She's made a few mistakes (put my suit skirts through the washing machine!!), but I just let them go, because she's so good.

She sees herself as part of our home, and goes the extra mile, doing a bit of cleaning and tidying while baby is sleeping etc.

In return, we think of her needs - she's got a free day off today, because I'm at home and I think she needs a rest + a break from the journey in the freezing cold. If I have a meeting near home, I always come home early and let her go well before the end of the day. It's called give and take, makes the world go round.

And on the cleaner issue - yeah, I'll let my cleaner go then, the week before Christmas, just so she doesn't feel "degraded" Hmm

Goldenbear · 13/12/2012 13:33

I am Goldenbear not eye.

As I said before, cleaning is a UNIVERSAL ability- everyone and anyone (excluding the physically unable) can do it for themselves. You can arguably sort out your own rubbish, take it to the dump but if every person initiated their own rubbish dumping it would be chaotic and detremental to society.

Road sweeping involves the ability to operate a mechanical sweeper, that is not a universal ability. Services like these cannot be left to Individuals who can determine how much effort they put into the work or how good an out come they want. There is a certain standard that needs to be maintained for the health and safety of the communities these services are delivered in- one person acting on their own cannot ensure that so it is not universal capability.

megandraper · 13/12/2012 13:34

goldeneyes, there are lots of jobs I don't want to do myself, or can't do as well as someone else does. That includes cleaning, DIY, sewing nametapes and buttons, mowing the lawn, cutting the hedge, ironing and a few more. I've paid people to do all these things for me at one time or another. They've all been fair jobs.

My cleaner at the moment is male. He runs a cleaning company. He and his team are incredibly fast, thorough and efficient. They're not cheap but they are well worth it in my view - means I can work myself during the time I'd otherwise be cleaning. I like my work, so though I don't make much extra once I've paid for cleaning, child-care etc. it is worth it to me.

megandraper · 13/12/2012 13:38

sorry goldenbear, not goldeneyes! though that's quite a nice name too

I suppose it depends whether you feel cleaning is a moral issue. I don't leave the house in a tip, casting my rubbish everywhere and leaving unwashed plates strewn about, because I'm too good to do it and expect someone else to.

But my cleaner and his team dash in with better equipment than I've got, a professional attitude, an efficient methodology (3 of them work together) and get done in 2 hours what would take me 6-8. Cleaning - the way they do it - is very much a professional, skilled job, I think.

Goldenbear · 13/12/2012 13:38

Most people given a choice, a REAL choice would not choose to clean other people's dirty underwear for a living.

megandraper · 13/12/2012 13:39

Oh, and my cleaner is planning to send his son to the same private school my DCs go to. He's definitely not a skivvy!

megandraper · 13/12/2012 13:39

And he doesn't go near my underwear! Cleaners generally don't, do they?

Bonsoir · 13/12/2012 13:40

I don't trust anyone with my washing. There are far too many things that can go wrong all too easily, IMVHO.

mrsshackleton · 13/12/2012 13:45

goldenbear - it is a free country, no one HAS to be a cleaner. You didn't like it and left. I cleaned when I was a student to support myself. I had no problem with it. Now I pay someone else to clean. She doesn't appear demeaned, not like she would if I told her I didn't need her any more.

Goldenbear · 13/12/2012 13:49

Are his team sending their children to private school? I can well believe that the accumulative amount for a cleaner who works for themselves may be a good income but the hourly rate is not going to be greater than their client's hourly rate and it is a fabrication to say cleaning is a well paid profession - for most it is not.

I don't see how you could argue it is a profession aswell- in what way is it a profession?

CockyPants · 13/12/2012 13:52

I don't trust anyone who doesn't clean their own toilet.
Do your own laundry. Problem solved.
First world problem alert...

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 13/12/2012 13:54

happwith3 YANBU to want to scream your head off, how annoying, especially as you had only worn it once.

What the hell how much you earn or what you ask your nanny/helper to do in your home has got to do with it i have no idea.

Hope you don't feel as fed up about it today.

whois · 13/12/2012 13:55

Most people given a choice, a REAL choice would not choose to clean other people's dirty underwear for a living

Bit of a silly comment.

What is a REAL choice?

Your attitude is actually very patronising and demeaning to the many people who clean for a living.

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