To want to scream my head off at my Nanny for putting my gorgeous new wool jumper in teh dryer!?

[happywith3]

Aaargh! It wasn't cheap and I lusted after it and have only worn it once. It was gorgeous and now it is shrunk! I found it hanging next to the dryer where we put the stuff to dry that's not to go in the dryer but obviusly it went into the dryer because there is pink/red (colour of the jumper) in the thing that catches the fluff. It looks like she realised she shouldn't have put it in the dryer and then hung it there to make it look like it had not gone in or half dried it in the dryer and then hung it. I feel like screaming! How will I tell her calmly in the morning....

[Goldenbear]

mrsshackleton well if you did it is a student, you obviously didn't intend it to be your job for life.

How does someone appear when they feel degraded or demeaned?

[Bonsoir]

If you think cleaning someone else's home and doing someone else's laundry is a demeaning job, you have no clue about the demeaning jobs out there.

Lots and lots of young girls where I live are desperate for jobs as housekeepers and childcarers. They don't think they are demeaning - they think they get to spend all day in someone else's very nice home, keeping warm and safe. It is infinitely preferable to all sorts of minimum wage jobs.

[valiumredhead]

Nannies shouldn't do the family washing only their charges. IF they do then you have to expect some cock ups now and again. Next time put aside anything precious so you can do it yourself.

[Bonsoir]

There is no "should" about it (nannies can do anything they and their family agree upon!). But I rest my case: washing is a dangerous business! Outsource at your peril!

[NigellasGuest]

when I was working part time I always took Thursdays off for washing my cashmere.I suggest you have a designated cashmere washing day - HTH

[JustFabulous]

When I was a nanny I was putting a wash on when the phone rang. I rushed incase it was the parent and went against a nagging doubt and pressed start on the machine. Yep, MB's jumper in the machine that wasn't machine washable. She wasn't happy but I begged and pleaded for the shop to try and get me another as it wasn't brand new in. They got me something like a sample but I think she was still annoyed. Every right to be but I tried to rectify it.

[Goldenbear]

I have quite a big clue actually Bonsoir having worked in a fair few minimum wage jobs myself- 3 factory jobs, bar work, waitress work with an agency where the boss regularly shouted at us for not being quick enough in delivering the food to tables and expect us to scold are arms with hot plates as they didnt provide enough tea towels to cover our arms.

What demeaning jobs have you experience of then?

It is so far fetched to argue that cleaning would be the job of choice for the rest of your life and that it is done by people in this context that have extensive prospects.

It is PATRONISING to play down the real power- relations that exist in these arrangements. Also, this is often done by people who are well aware of those power relations but are trying to convince themselves it's all a level playing field - service provider talk etc!

[Goldenbear]

Bonsoir, 'they get to stay all day in someone else's very nice home'. Yes cleaning it, cleaning the crap stains in the loo, oh well least they're warm!

[Bonsoir]

Don't project your own hatred of cleaning onto other people, who may think it is quite cushy to clean someone else's nice comfortable warm home rather than sweep the underground, stack shelves in a supermarket, do bikini waxes, wash hair or any other one of the many millions of repetitive low-level service jobs that are out there.

[AfterEightMintyy]

I would rather be a cleaner than a nanny or childminder, truly. Or telesales, or chugging, or working on a production line ... or any number of other jobs tbh.

[Goldenbear]

It's not related to my experience at all as my sandwich factory job was the worst low status job I had by far. Removing hot chicken fat from the hot chicken counter at a supermarket was pretty grim to. Believe me washing hair would have been preferable.

For the reasons I explained above I think it is a moral issue- employing a cleaner in a domestic setting.

[Goldenbear]

It is not about someone's willingness to do it. The question is whether an individual should clean their own private mess up.

[Bonsoir]

Of FGS, employing a cleaner is the moral course of action - it is always better to give someone a job than not to do so.

[Goldenbear]

In your opinion.

[ChippingInLovesChristmasLights]

Goldenbear - how old are you?

[EMS23]

What a funny turn this thread took...

[Goldenbear]

Chipping, what have my personal details got to do with the thread? I have opnions that you don't agree with fine then argue intelligently to that effect.

[MummytoMog]

My OH, despite being an intelligent and educated man, STILL gets what can and can't be tumbledried wrong. We are currently on [can't be dried\bras, anything knitted, anything I have made, dresses, trousers] so basically, it's easier just to do it myself...

[LetsFaceThePresentsTheyrePants]

My God this thread title screams 'first world problem'!

I thought it must be a joke/wind up.

[happywith3]

Goldenbear, seriously? She puts a wash on from time to time. I do it a lot more! The nanny is only throwing our stuff in with the kids. I have a cleaner too tbh but she comes once or twice a week.

Of course it was an honest mistake - I was just bloody mad that the jumper shrunk, would have been just as mad at myself!

Conversation with nanny went this morning went as follows: hey we need to be careful what we put in the dryer because my new jumper shrunk. Not a big deal but if you've any doubt leave it aside and I will take care of it. She said oh I only put it in for a few mins and then hung it and thought that would be ok. I said not to worry, no biggie, it could happen to anyone and showed her what the drying symbol looks like on case she didn't know. That was it. I didn't actually scream at her!

So much for venting here! (but thanks to those who understand that it is just venting) The reverse snobbery is indeed gobsmacking? and it is amazing the assumptions some people make.

Well done, Kitty, you're obviously wonder woman, I wish I could be like you. Oh no actually from the comments you made I really wouldn't as you obviously are very judgmental.

[TheOriginalLadyFT]

Well no, OP, YANBU - I would have beaten the useless little mare with my domestic service personnel behaviour modifying stick

Seriously, the crap spouted on some of these threads is hilarious - we have a cleaner (and thank god, because seriously if I worked anymore hours I would spontaneously combust) and she CHOSE to be a cleaner having previously worked in an office. She enjoys it (her words) and does everything from changing sheets and putting on washing to scrubbing the loo. She is paid well for it and would laugh in your face goldenbear for your 'demeaning' stuff

FWIW, I thought you handled it fine - scream internally, vent on here, be polite and reasonable in RL

[DowagersHump]

I would still have a separate laundry basket for delicates. Then you can reduce your stress levels.

[AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow]

You can vent here anytime OP, take no bleeding notice! First world problems, where does that shit end? having to ask yourself,'would someone in a third world country hate the tube always being packed? No, can't moan about it on MN then

Glad you were nice about the jumper :)

[lljkk]

I [heart] my cleaner.

I dunno, OP, this is why I just do not buy wool. If it wasn't your Nanny it would have been your DH or your mum or even you in an absent minded moment that put it in the TD. I would let it go.

[DialsMavis]

Golden Bear: when I was growing up we had a cleaner and sometimes my DM was a cleaner, how does that fit morally? Interchangeably, as our circumstances dictated, there was no hand wringing about it.
When DM was a SAHM we didn't have a cleaner, when she was broke or we had a holiday coming up she did a bit of cleaning, when she worked F/T we had a cleaner. Even though she is retired (quite comfortably: no mortgage on large house, nice car, holidays etc) she still does some cleaning for some people she knows well.
She earns more P/H than entry level graduate positions in London that I am applying for after getting myself £20k in debt for the useless degree that I have just finished!