To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA

(please be gentle)

I would hold it against her for life.

Acting out a story in a play is just visual learning.

Why you won't let your child take part in that is beyond me.

We live in a multi cultural country and it makes me sad when parents go OTT about these things and start banning their children from taking part in simple plays.

I wouldn't do it to my kids and I'm glad my parents never did it to me.

Because even if I did turn out to be an atheist I would think her narrow minded at worst, misguided at best.

I'd have no issue stopping my child from participating in something I believe to be morally wrong. Even if it's fun. In fact I have done it on several occasions. I would imagine that any decent parent has.

And seriously, I think people have lost perspective. It's a nativity. It's not a wonderful, exciting, magical event, it's just a play. It really really doesn't matter, one way or the other. So if the OP doesn't want her DC to take part, that's ok. In the same way as it would be ok for the OP to not let her kids eat junk food or go to a particular party. It's her choice.

Suppose you moved to a country where something you considered completely wrong was acceptable, say sexism or disablism. Would you be happy for your children to take part in this until they're old enough to decide for themselves, or is joining in with the society you live in more important?

It always astounds me when people think that parents Raising children in their religion is wrong yet it is simply another area where parents views and morals are used to guild the child until the child is old enough to decide for themselves.

If a parent decides to raise a child a vegetarian that is their choice, the child can decide for themselves when they are old enough to. Same goes for religion and many other areas of life.

OP, I'm finding it slightly amusing that as a complete atheist I am drawn to this thread and eager to defend your right to your own beliefs. I completely disagree with your religious views but you sound like a tolerant, friendly and generally nice kind of person.

I'm also highly amused by the amount of people who have spectacularly missed the point by saying you should just let your kids take part because it won't corrupt them.

Because being disabled and experiencing sexism is a tangible, very present thing for an individual. Depicting Mary and Joseph in a primary school play isn't about to undermine the very essence of our society

What this thread mainly shows is that the point of superstitions still seems to be to make people's lives more difficult.

A child should be able to make up there own mind.. How do u think they feel being excluded????

Not fair on poor children

If its bot something u can do... Why bother ask ??????

Should they be able to make up their own mind what tv they watch? How much sugary food they eat? What time to go to bed?

If we are letting children who are to young to make reasoned decisions make up their own minds what is the point in parents then?

I'm starting to wonder if you're missing the point deliberately, but sexist/disablist societies have existed for a very long time without collapsing, in fact much of the population feel equality would 'undermine the very essence of [their] society'. I'm sure if depicting prophets were trivial to the OP she'd have let her dc take part. You get to decide what is important to you and your young dc, not for anyone else.

I suppose what is making people uneasy is: If you are so rigid that you are going to forbid your kids something as essentially unthreatening as the opportunity to dress up and hop about in the school play with their mates, what else are you going to make them do or refrain from as they grow up? There are some quite nasty things associated with most of the more hardline superstitions: homophobia and serious misogyny for instance.

Op's beliefs are not making her life or that of her sons difficult at all solid It's everyone else who can't accept that she may hold beliefs different to theirs that are getting their knickers in a twist.

I think that's quite an offensive assumption SolidGold and I speak as an atheist.

Violent video games are fun considerably more than the Nativity. My 8 year old nephew wants to play them. He is not allowed in my house because I believe it is wrong. His friends' parents don't. They let their children play. Oh, what a horrible person I am forcing a child not to do something they enjoy, that other people in my culture think is right, just because of my stupid beliefs and morals.

BTW I am also raising my child atheist. She can choose when she's older but I'm not forcing her to participate in all the local religions just to make sure she is freely choosing.

exotic oh I'm so sorry that you find my post "silly". I can see that you're really really great at debating though, since that's your comeback, so I'll bow to your superiority.

Lots of things are parts of different cultures. That doesn't mean you HAVE to participate in them.

It's a play for goodness sake...part of learning. Children like visual learning, it helps them remember.

He's not going to catch a dose of the Christians if he takes part in it...no more than the other kids would catch a dose of the Muslims if they're asked to act out a play when learning about Islam.

I do wish people would think more about their children's day to day school life and how being excluded can affect/embarrass them...instead of using young children to make a point.

Just let them be kids for goodness sake.

I am actually hiding this thread because it is so full of offensive shit. You people are fucking MAD.

Worra have you actually read the thread? OP clearly isn't worried about her dc 'catching Christian'.

Pozzled I am actually delighted to find that so many people of religion and none are really fighting my corner regardless of whether they share my set of beliefs or not. I have no problem with people not sharing my beliefs. Each to their own I say. Thank you for the kind words, I am glad that I come across as friendly and not some militant maniac! :) (to some anyway!)

It is funny how I have been told that I am not tolerant enough (because my decision and reasoning is intolerant apparently!) by the very posters who seem to be extremely intolerant of my right to my beliefs!

I am amused too when I see a post telling me not to be frightened of lightening or DC converting to Christianity! Am I just not writing clearly enough?? :)

Missed point alert BIG time.

When there is an annual month-long orgy of consumerism, greed and nonsense foisted on me by Islam, I'll feel I understand what the OP feels. She takes part, has been full of humour and understanding on this thread. She just wants to excuse her DC from one aspect of it. Maybe her DC will learn to be different and feel OK about that. Instead of being a sheep. In this case both literally and figuratively.

x-posted OP.

Ria