To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA

(please be gentle)

lol dozyduck

or should it have been the other way round:

I think everyone should also give careful consideration to which one should go first. Can't be accused of segregation that way! In fact, they should be done in equal numbers.

You could do it the way that Steve McQueen and Paul Newman did it. One was higher, one was first. So,

x-post again mrsTP Are you reading my mind????????!!!!!!!

Noooooooo..

                  <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Xmas Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/fgrin-D62DlXfl.png">

That's right.

its spooky!

nah, i am just too slow!

No it's not. I'm leaving in shame at my useless, non-integrated emoticons. I think you are great, Spru. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you too MrsTerryPratchett

:)

Spru, I am a very observant Christian, and I understand why you would feel a conflict here. I cannot/ will not eat Halal Meat and food as I firmly believe 'thou shall worship no other God but me.' Kosher is fine because of old testament being part of the Bible. I have one question, if I were living in a country which practices your religion, would you think IWBU and not integrated if I didn't participate in practices relating to your religion if I had explained why? If not, then in the situation you describe YADNBU. BTW, FWIW, I am touched by your respect for Christian figures by your decision to show them the same respect as the prophets in your religion, by not depicting them, even if you don't follow the religion.

Pozzled understand your point.

It's so far out of my understanding that people allow themselves to be controlled by books and stories and codes of believes of hell and damnation or paradise of all religions that its difficult for me to care.

However I have to confess that when we though dd had died this year I dropped on my knees and prayed.

Wierd aye.

I hope you aren't both wishing merry Christmas without acknowledging all other celebrations at this time of year at the same time

I love that you have received so much abuse for not taking part in a multi cultural society by hundreds of people who have refused to read why you don't take part in something and totally disrespected your religion. very interesting.

Forcing someone to take part in something they feel is wrong is not being muti cultural, it's being a twat. The OP takes part in the festivities and everything else (not that she should have to) but because one thing is morally wrong to her and she doesn't participate she's letting her kids down? Really really? Kids do survive these things christ.

Haven't read all of the thread but I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If the nativity play contradicts what you and your children believe then of course they shouldn't take part in it. I am speaking as an atheist here, so of course I don't believe in the Xmas story, but to my mind that is quite different to believing that it's wrong to portray it. I mean, it doesn't go against any of my beliefs, because I don't have any! But you do, and I don't think it's unreasonable to stay true to them and not do things that you are expressly told not to.

Dozy

If God is assembly, that God is one cruel bastard!

Ok Spru, thanks for clearing that up. Then you'll understand, I'm sure, why I feel that the UK is one if the most tolerant and inclusive countries I've lived in.

We can have these frank exchanges. I've lived in places where we couldn't.

Sorry if the word offended, I toyed also with bolshy and arsey!

Thread seems to have taken a welcome light turn, which is lovely.

NolittleBuddha I wouldnt think that you were BU at all. I only eat halal meat but my friend was not comfortable eating at a Halal Restaurant. So I opted for a non-halal restaurant and had fish and vege option instead. I wasnt offended.

In fact, a part of my belief is that I should be respectful of other people's beliefs. Jesus and Mary mean a HUGE deal to me and hold a great status in Islam and are amazing people from Islam's point of view. I could never do them justice by depicting them in any way. Islam will not allow their depiction as a mark of respect.

ohfunnyface most definitely poor DS

Be so nice though if all religions could enjoy and explore each others and let their children take part in each others festivals.

At my C of E church school I put EID lights that the children had made onto the shelf above the 'manger area with baby Jesus in a straw cradle'

I am a proud TA and an atheist... ( when going gets tough we all pray though don't we)

thebody I don't pray when the going gets tough :)

Perhaps I should, but to all the gods in all languages. Just to ensure I am not encouraging segregation

YADNU

The world would be a much nicer place if people believed in what is real and not some story books written far too many years ago!

Just my opinion!

This thread turned much better after some very hostile remarks.

It was getting a bit DM, until thankfully, common sense prevailed!

YANBU, your work colleagues are!

Dozy, neither did I till we thought our dd had died in feb.

She was on a school trip and the coach crashed off the motorway in France.

The head teacher was killed and other teachers were injured.

Dd was trapped and suffered multiple injuries. It was some 5 hours later of agony that we heard via British police that she had survived.

And yes us confirmed atheists prayed.

I don't understand why your child should not be in a play even if its about a different religion from your own

I do.

If you believe that it is absoloutly wrong to depict certain figures then that is what you believe, all the time.

It would be like saying, "I know you don't eat porkk, but it's Christmas" and presenting your Jewish / Muslim / SDA friend with a bacon sandwich.

OP

I'm totally with you. It is your belief, it is nothing to do with integration it is to do with the silly sentimentality we have in this country when it comes to Xmas and Nativity plays.