To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA

(please be gentle)

MrsTerry Lets stop being obtuse.

Maybe it's because I was one of the children who left assembly during prayers. There was me and my Jewish mate, causing segregation by not praying to a God we don't believe in. Not well integrated at all, me.

It will not just be the Nativity. As if it was it would not be a no would it really? If it was fine reading stories and making crafts at Easter for example and that was not morally wrong (to the op) then saying a play is just would not add up.
I am not going to ramble on. The op has every right to do what she thinks is right. I was just saying from my point of view it was a shame when children are meant to be encouraged to learn and explore all different cultures not just those taught/practiced at home that there are parents who still will not let this happen.

"People will notice and wonder why"

Oh no, they won't will they? What a disaster! My goodness, if only there was a solution, like, ummm... just explaining why?

It's not a big deal. Really.

I just think you're being a bit miserable - does it really matter if your DC's take part in a play, lots of shakespeare plays have religious parts to them, are you going to stop your DC's from perfoming in them too.
I think you need to lighten up a bit.

Wow, people have been so harsh on the OP.

As understand it, Islam actually forbids figurative representation of people, as only Allah creates (or something). So drawing the line at depicting a prpophet is just that - drawing a line. Why can't someone join in the cultural aspects of a festival, as she does in the lunch and the secret santa, and her son does in other school Christmas celebrations, but stop short at the point their OWN religion or culture or personal beliefs come into play?

Vegetarians celebrate christmas dinner but stop at turkey. I attend and celebrate the weddings of friends in churches but don't take communion or pray. I would join in a fiesta while on holiday in Spain, but would not particpate in throwing a donkey off a church tower. I celebrate christmas but will not be doing Elf on a Shelf - does that make me non-integrated?

Why are people so confrontational and hostile over these things? Are people taking it personally that her son will not parade about with a tea towel on his head?

DozyDuck . In fact !!!

sunshine I and many other people of different faiths are quite happy with religious education helping to widen our children's knowledge and understanding. I have no problems with learning about other religions at all. In fact, i love learning about other religions and their beliefs.

I agree they won't be stuck in the class room, they will either be in nursery, or doing playdoh with the SEN child who can't focus on practicing the nativity for very long.

The other DC will be bored and

I'm pretty sure the nativity is much more exciting for parents than children.

lol blu

Well I don't expect people to agree with me.

But I think if we want a more tolerant and understanding society, we should all look upon each others cultures with interest and get involved. We don't have to believe in it, but we can take part and support those that do.

I'm Atheist, but I celebrate Eid with my Muslim cousins and friends, go to midnight mass with my Christian friends.. They know I don't believe in their religions but its just a way of showing friendship and support isnt it?

I wouldn't refuse to do harmless things like plays and parties, I wouldn't be so rude.

OP, i genuinely DON'T understand why your DC can't be IN the play, but not play a lead role. I appreciate your issue with the depiction of prophets, but I don't see why DC couldn't still participate as SOMETHING. Surely that would be an acceptable compromise, and one that would allow your DC to participate in the school activity?

Christmas Cards often depict the Nativity scene, and hideous ornaments arranged around a manger are everywhere. however, i guess that you wouldn't actively avoid a shop which displayed these items?

before I get flamed, this is a genuine question.

I and many other people of different faiths are quite happy with religious education helping to widen our children's knowledge and understanding. I have no problems with learning about other religions at all. In fact, i love learning about other religions and their beliefs. Blinking heck you are sounding reasonable and integrated there OP. You want to watch that!

Karoleann I love some of shakespeare plays, but not others! Is that being miserable
?

OP!!!

Just out of pure nosiness, why can't they be a different person in the play, or a star?

Is it because they are involved in it still?

not a criticism just interest

Everyone who is saying the OP is causing segregation and being mean is being a bit ridiculous to be quite honest

I'm sure your kids will have loads of fun OP.

My DS will probably scream and cry during the nativity, ruining it for everyone because some poor soul will forget themselves and dare to make eye contact with him

GhostShip I believe a "more tolerant and understanding society" is one that can deal with difference. We can pick and choose to take part in some aspects of religion but not others. You go to Midnight Mass bit I assume you don't take Communion...

Rednosed The OP wouldn't be able to watch the play due to it's content - the issue is the content - the same applies to her child

Lots of Christian families don't take part in anything Halloween related

Thank you gordy I thought that was the case just making sure

MrsTerryPrachett Isn't really much of a comparison that is it? I'd be strictly forbidden from taking communion anyway, they'd go mad!

And yeah pick and chose, but a nativity play? I can understand that going to church would be a bit far.. but taking part in an hour long play where the kids will probably be a sheep or a star.. :o

School nativities with random animals and extras all over have about as much to do with religion as a Christmas tree - and I suspect that's why people see your decision as non-integrationist, it's just not perceived as being on the same level as going to church to celebrate etc.

Oh oh oh puts hand up

I didn't let my DS go to an after school trip to the circus because it had wild animals in it.

I am not integrated and am also a complete hypocrite as I let DS eat meat

Suitably shamed now just like you OP

MrsTP , let me shock people some more . In my younger days, intolerant and non-integrated me, managed to get 96% on an a level essay which was about 'all faiths' of the world' ( I am showing off now! ) My grammar lost me 4%. Still lets me down!

PS: am I hypocritical for not using santa icons all the time or is this a good step toward integration?

spru I think a good mix of santa and not Santa smilies is requires for integration. As long as every single person uses both in every post.

Otherwise they are encouraging segregation

The Muslim children at my child's school take part, the Jehovah Witness children do not. I respect your views although as an atheist it is quite hard for me to empathise fully. I have no religious beliefs but I celebrate Christmas and I have celebrated Eid, Chinese New Year and hindu festivals too. Although Christmas is obviously a Christian celebration I believe it is also a cultural celebration as well so I don't feel too hypocritical taking part and frankly I couldn't care less if people find it hypocritical.

My mother is an atheist but I had no idea when I was growing up, I assumed she held Christian beliefs. I respect her for not forcing her own views on me as I gained comfort from Christianity as a child.

[fgrn]

It is only OK if you make sure there are an equal number of Santa and non-Santa and that they are strictly alternated. I love arbitrary rules.

GhostShip I actually think it is a good comparison because I'm sure you would not take Communion even if you could. The nativity play is because of the representation of prophets, directly against the OP's beliefs. Not just because she is miserable and joyless. I think she has shown herself, on this thread, to be tolerant, funny and engaged with people of all faiths and none. It's all an act, she is really scary and mean in RL.

Dahm, I broke my own rule with my emoticon fail.