To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA

(please be gentle)

I see things like not encouraging children to speak English, making daughters wear a headscarf, not allowing them to attend birthday parties as more indicative of failure to integrate, but I do think a non-faith primary school's nativity play is more cultural than religious; very few of the children in the play will be churchgoers. It's just a story to them so it's a shame that your child in't allowed to participate - couldn't you ask the teacher to ensure that they don't play Mary/Joseph? This refreshing request would no doubt have the advantage of endearing you and your child to the teacher for the rest of the year.

By the way, I had no idea that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were even on Islam's radar, so thanks for the new information! I have learnt a new thing today, hurrah

I think you are being slightly dramatic. It is not as if they are trying to convert your child into another religion in any way shape or form. It is selfish for children to have to miss out due to parents beliefs and I think it is important for children to learn about and embrace other cultures and religions especially the one they live in. I would rethink your decision.

I think it is important for children to learn about and embrace other cultures and religions especially the one they live in

I've just posted a similar sentiment elsewhere.

It is this sort of open minded approach that will rub off on the next generation. I truly believe it is our parental duty responsibility to model this sort of tolerance and curiosity.

Passing on this laudable approach to our children is so important. We can all be peace envoys in our own ways if we want to see an end to bigotry and intolerance.

I'm pretty sure the nativity is much more exciting for parents than children.

oh goodness me yes children actually find it annoying and some have attention spans of gnats I helped at a nativity years ago poor teacher nearly had a breakdown at curtain up , it is for parents to watch and get the cameras out and all that.

I just think it terribly sad for your DC.

I am pleased that my parents put me before principles. And who knows what your DC will decide for himself in the future? I have yet to meet an adult who says 'I am a ................ because my mother was'!

It isn't principles though it is part of the Op faith, I wouldn't feel sad for her children I am sure they will be fine and catered (for want of a better word) at school when the other children are doing the nativity, we live in a multi religion country we can't expect other people to fall into our traditions because it might upset little ones,

exotic millions of Catholics?

Absolutely, Valium

The baby Jesus was NOT a prophet. Nor were Mary & Joseph prophets.

I think your religious interpretation is too strict. Do you shun all images of Mary-Joseph-Jesus: cards, billboards, gravestones, outside a church, on leaflets put thru the door? Would you campaign to have those images removed?

YABU.

nolittleBuddah why do u think halal food is worshipping another then God?genuine question,sorry if daft

the body that must have been a horrible experience I am glad she is ok.

I have been through a personal experience where some might pray. Many did. I did not.

YABU, sorry I feel very SAD for your children.
Children hate to feel different from others and imagine how they will feel being left out.
I am an aethiest and my son is in the school play and even went to light house this year where he learnt how 'god died on the ex'.
They can make up their own mind in due time.
Please let them join in.

Topsi why do children hate to feel different from others?? Are all children exactly the same then?

children should embrace their differences and not try and be little clones of hating to be left out so we all should fit children into the same little boxes, on the very trivial side what if a child has a very expensive new shiny toy or game should all children get them so they 'fit in' and not be 'left out'

YABU.

My family is not Hindu but my son will be involved in the school play of Rama and Sita. It's just a play ffs, they are not going to steal your child and force him to be a Christian. If you are that worried about your child being in a Christian play it says more about being insecure about your own religion imo.

YANBU. I grew up in this country but with a different religion. I think when you have religious beliefs that are different to the majority you have to decide where you draw the lines. My parents said that my sisters and I could be in plays about the Christmas season but not actual nativity plays. I know that my school did nativity plays a few times while I was there and I really can't remember what I did but know I wasn't in it. It really didn't scar me for life. I do remember being one of the 8 maids a milking when we did the 12 days of Christmas one year.

It isn't about not integrating. It is about deciding what is important to you and your family. Not depicting prophets is important to you so your children don't get involved. Learning about religions is very different from doing something that is directly against your beliefs.

cookie when did the OP say she was worried about them being in a Christian play? She wouldn't let them depict prophets even if it was a play about a Muslim story. Read the thread please.

valium don't forget jewish people (exotic)

OP I disagree with you. But you have the right too and as long as your DC knows why...
I doubt your colleagues would have said such a thing to a Jehovah witness.
Father Christmas, present giving to me isn't religious in the slightest, Christmas is mixed up with very ancient traditions and secular customs.

But where do you draw the line with what your children can do? what about the cartoon strips of the Nativity (which everyone seems to do) can they never look at a picture that may be on the side of the road (as ll said). What of learning about moses, abraham, jacob ?? (sorry my OT is very rusty but I think they are all viewed as prohets) Watching Charlton Hestor, or what of Noah's ark?

To avoid all of seeing, drawing being exposed to pictures and dipictions of prophets which bar one are shared by christiannity and bar 2 (?) shared with judaism in northern europe where the dipiction of such people is commonplace and part of (for many) the public religious sphere and religious education seems like you are making a rod for your own back.
Open up any religious text book these major people often have a picture, they obmit pictures of Mohammed out of respect such laws about jesus dont exist (given that of the 2 religions that mention him he plays a much much bigger part in the one that likes having images of him) so they are depicted.

But I'm sure Mary and Joseph aren't -that would be odd if they were they aren't in christianity.

I imagine OP you would let depict major people in sikhism or hinduism - as they are not prohets, correct me if I'm wrong?

Holla the virgin mother is given more coverage in the Quran than the bible. Not something the catholic church goes around advertising - we kind of like to claim her.

I may not agree but you can do it. Personally I think it is sad and ott (one of the muslim girls in one of my primary schools got to be mary) A lot of hard work for something that could just be explained to your DC about why jesus is depicted (as he can be in christianity - we kind of go in for it)

It seems odd and far far to much work and effort and depriving your DC of a lot (going far beyond Nativity which really is a show at the end of the day) in their education and schooling and every day life.
But it isnot about intergration in the slightest.

YANBU but you are being incredibly naive about the whole thing. What do you think they are doing at school if they're not doing the play?

If it's anything like the schools that I've worked in then a lot of the school day at this time of year is spent rehearsing the wretched nativity thing over and over and over again.

Not sure what happens if your parents don't want you to join in, but I'm guessing that your children will be sitting in the same room as the other children in their class, watching them do the rehearsals but not allowed to join in themselves. Then, on the day of the performance they'll be sitting in a classroom with a TA doing craft activities (maybe making Christmas decorations ) while the rest of the school community have a jolly time without them.

Let them join in but be a sheep or something that is not offensive. I think that it's about flexibility and compromise and showing that we can celebrate the end of the school term and the holiday season (Eid, Diwali, Chanukah, Christmas, Winter Solstice) together.

I think it is important for children to learn about and embrace other cultures and religions especially the one they live in

???? Children need to embrace the religion of the country they live in???
Do you mean that they should act as if they were following that religion (or at least wouldn't be that bothered about it, ie being very hypocritical) whilst... practising their own religion only in private in such a way that no one knew 'because otherwise they wouldn't be integrated to the society'?
Or do you mean they should follow the religion of that country?

And I though that state and religion were separate a long time ago and religion was now only a personal and private decision. Silly me.

Half the posters saying 'let them be in the nativity' are making wild and inaccurate assumptions about WHY the OP doesn't want them to particpate.

READ THE THREAD, PEOPLE!

It isn't because she doesn't want them to learn about Christianity, it isn't because she doesn't want them to take part in Christmas celebrations, it isn't because she is against christianity or integrating.

IT IS BECAUSE MANY MUSLIMS FOLLOW THE MUSLIM BELIEF THAT IT IS BLASPHEMOUS TO DEPICT A PROPHET N A PICTURE OR BY AN ACTOR.

In fact many muslims, and muslim teaching, bans the depiction of all living things, including humans. That is why Islamic art is very pattern based, and very beautiful it is, too.