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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to think my MIL is amazing?

198 replies

victoriaplum01 · 04/12/2012 21:28

There, I've said it. The woman is a saint. Am I the only person who has a lovely MIL?

OP posts:
StNickHasHisXmasTeakozyOn · 04/12/2012 23:13

My XILs are lovely. They showed me how proper parents act around their children by not having a scapegoat. They adore their daughters equally and always treat me with respect and love, specially XMIL. I love them unconditionally, even though their DD1 and I are no longer together.

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/12/2012 23:16

Yanbu but I bloody hope you tell them how much you love them and give them flowers

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 04/12/2012 23:18

I love my old mil she was amazing, helped me through some truly tough times and helped me out of the bad relationship with her son as she could see it was the same as hers :0( and didn't want me to waste my life like she did.
Miss her massively
Just can't bond with the new one, even after 5 years. Nothing bad and we get on.

CrackleMauve · 04/12/2012 23:33

I have come to visit my MIL without her son of my own free will, she is ace.

Original poster
victoriaplum01 · 04/12/2012 23:33

Sock - I do try to, but I forget sometimes. I owe her flowers big time at the moment - I had a stomach bug at the weekend, DH was struggling to look after our DDs cos he was also poorly, so she came over and took DD1 home with her for a sleepover (big treat for DD1), as well as the entire contents of my laundry basket. Normally I wouldn't have been keen on someone going through my dirty laundry but 1) it was mostly all the DDs stuff anyway and 2) I felt like I was at death's door so couldn't care less. All clothes washed, dried and returned to us by 9am the following morning.

Then DD1 came down with the bug too, whilst still with my MIL, so she dealt with that too (and will probably get the bug too Blush ).

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 04/12/2012 23:42

She sounds wonderful phone her as soon as you are able just to say nice things to her.

In fact everybody with a amazing mil should do that tomorrow

LRDtheFeministDude · 05/12/2012 00:45

My MIL is lovely!

And thanks sock for the reminder, I should ring her. I feel very lucky.

BubbleGunsGirl · 05/12/2012 07:05

My MIL is my fairy, a great mum to her children and a fab Grandma!
She arrives today, i ll remind her of that!

buzzgirly · 05/12/2012 07:15

My MIL is lovely. She would do anything for us, and is a wonderful Granny. The only teeny problem is, that after 2 sons, she treats dd a bit like a princess - dd however loves it! She is brilliant with the boys too though.

babybythesea · 05/12/2012 09:17

I love mine too. She lives in New Zealand and I don't see anywhere near enough of her.
When I do see her we go to stay for a month at a time which could be very awkward, and it's not. I really look forward to seeing her. I just hope she doesn't harbour a secret resentment for me, as her son would have moved home by now if he hadn't married me. If she does, she's never given any hint, but I do worry sometimes.

freddiefrog · 05/12/2012 09:21

My DH's MiL is lovely Smile

Mine has her lovely moments which unfortunately are massively out numbered by the not so lovely moments. My kids adore her though and she's fab with them, so I put up and shut up

babybarrister · 05/12/2012 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NutellaNutter · 05/12/2012 09:34

Awwww, what a lovely thread!

TurkeyGibletsGeekette · 05/12/2012 09:42

Mine's bloody amazing. And I tell her that. And I buy her flowers Grin She was the best thing about marrying DH... err, other than marrying DH obviously!

EasilyBored · 05/12/2012 09:45

Mine is lovely, does not impose, does not offer unwanted advice, is generous with her time and money (to a fault actually). My only tiny tiny tiny issue is that she's just so eager to see DS (which is lovely, of course), that it gets a bit exhausting.

I am lucky though, some of the stories on here make me feel queasy.

Poledra · 05/12/2012 09:55

Mine is wonderful, as is FIL. I have told DH that if we ever get divorced, I'm keeping his parents as past of the settlement Xmas Wink

My parents are pretty fabulous too, so we are very lucky in that regard.

shuffleballchange · 05/12/2012 10:15

Mine is amazing, she's always there for us but doesn't interfere. Dcs adore her as do I, I'm very lucky and love her dearly.

TheNightwearBeforeChristmas · 05/12/2012 10:20

It's nice to hear that you all have nice MILs. I think it's very hard at first to have a good relationship with in-laws because you are being forced into being close, if that makes sense. If you all get on well, then it's truly wonderful.

My own MIL is a nightmare, however so is my mother.

I sometime miss my ex-bf's mother, she was great.

If/when I become a MIL (I've got two DSs):

I will NOT force everyone to do what I think is best and disregard other peoples thoughts/feelings/opinions. This includes emotional blackmail.
I will not complain or criticize about DILs nationality, beliefs or household chores.
I will tell my sons what to do unless they specifically ask for my advice.
I won't tell them how to raise the grandchildren.
I won't try to force them to repeat religious verses and signs whenever I have 1 minute alone with them.

Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant. I wish the situation were different.

Pilgit · 05/12/2012 10:28

I also have a FAB MIL who frequently tells me and DH how we are bringing up DD better than she managed with her DSs (they are all lovely and this is doing her a disservice). Never criticises and is a constant source of love and support. I am glad and proud to have her as a friend as well as my MIL. FIL also fab, but it always makes me so sad as my own DF is an absolute twat - not abusive, just an ever absent alcoholic off with the fairies.

Jingleflobba · 05/12/2012 10:38

My MIL is great now but my god we've had a hard road to get there! I am very definitely not her choice of DIL, my upbringing was way too different to DH's and she spent the first years, right up to DD being born really rubbing me up the wrong way and criticising everything I did.
Now however we get on great on the whole, she had an accident a few years ago which left her needing alot of care at home and we really got to know each other much better when I went up. She's coming to us for Christmas this year for the first time and whereas a few years ago I would have dreaded the thought, this year I can't wait!

twolittlemonkeys · 05/12/2012 10:44

Mine was amazing. She died before our DSs were born, and I miss her. She did a fab job of raising her 4 boys and would have been such a source of strength and support. She used to ring me and take me out for girly lunches when DH and I were newly married, and was always so helpful, altering my suits to fit me better when I had interviews, giving me kind, welcome advice etc. Her death was sudden and unexpected. Wish she was still with us - I'm sure FIL would be easier to manage if she was around! He has become increasingly frustrating eccentric.

Calabria · 05/12/2012 10:45

Mines lovely too. Especially now she's stopped trying to mother me. (I already have a perfectly nice mother and I was 40 when I married her son)!

bigladsdiditandranaway · 05/12/2012 10:56

Mine is great. So much easier than my own Mum.
She's pretty much perfect, really, but not in a dead annoying way. Just in a nice, understated way.
I've known her since I was 16 and she has always been the same. She is lovely.

Phineyj · 05/12/2012 10:56

I think the not interfering nor giving unasked for advice part is key to the amazingness. Also trying one's best to treat one's grown up children as adults even if you don't agree with everything they do or how they do it. I have never appreciated my DM so much as since I got married.

evilhamster · 05/12/2012 10:59

My MIL is great. She comes over every Christmas to us (in Wales, but when we move to Iceland she says she'll vist then too) and she loves all her grandkids. She had five kids, and currently has nine grandkids (will be ten soon, I'm 30wks) and loves them all so much. She sends me a lot of presents randomly- just a ' I knew you'd love this' and I know she does the same for her DIL and her SonsILs- as well as the grandkids.

She worked as a a matron at a care home and she's so good with kids. She's caring, she's loving, and I am so glad to still have her. She was recently bombed out of her house-(she lives in Israel) but she's still sending over gifts, skyping, FaceTiming, emailing etc;

She speaks completely differen languages to me (she grew up with Hebrew, me with Icelandic) and she put such an effort into learning some simple phrases in Icelandic which she'd try out over skype or whatever, always failing completely, and then try out with my family, (although they both speak some English) which resulted in hundreds of misunderstandings (she asked about the dog's testicles, meaning to ask about the dog's puppies)...

She recently underwent treatment for cancer (bladder) and lost her husband having supported him and cared for him as he had dementia. She's so brave and caring and kind. I'm so lucky.