to dump my BF for going with a prostitute...

[snailfiddler]

... 24 years ago.

On a lads holiday to Amsterdam.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

AFD
Agreed. I think I would find this a challenging situation and now I am in my 40's I would lose all respect for anyone of my acquaintances who used a prostitute now and would distance myself from them.

When I was 18 I was pretty ignorant of the reality of prostitution so I assume that most of the blokes of my age were too. I cringe to think that in 1990 Pretty Woman was such a big hit and I had female friends who loved the film.

[AnyFuckingDude]

chaz, there are still many women that would place that film in their top ten favourites

[snailfiddler]

The thing with dealbreakers is, I'm not sure if a one off occurrence, 20 odd yrs ago, and never repeated, could or should be a deal breaker.

I think his current attitude/opinion is more important/crucial.

[AnyFuckingDude]

that's your choice, see

and you do have one

[snailfiddler]

Pretty Woman, Beauty and the Beast - terrible films

[snailfiddler]

Thanks everyone, Feeling stronger and thinking more clearly now. Need some kip [yawn]

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Beauty and the Beast snail? There's no glamourising prostitution in that...is there?

[snailfiddler]

No, but it's abusive and misogynistic and I hate it

[AnyFuckingDude]

come back and tell us how you get on x

[snailfiddler]

Will do AFD, 'night x

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Oh I see!

Do let us know what you decide to do. All the best.

[AnyFuckingDude]

(most disney films are anathema to femisnism)

[AnyFuckingDude]

*feminism

[fortyplus]

I'd be admiring his honesty and thankful that he has changed enough to realise that this behaviour should be despised.

However, this isn't about me - it's about whether or not you'll be haunted by this knowledge.

[Bogeyface]

Oh dont get me started on Disney..........

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I've never viewed Disney films as being anything more than films for children

[fortyplus]

Get him to read this

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

What 'fortyplus' said.

... and it was 24 years ago for the love of god.

[Bogeyface]

Alis as did I until it was pointed out to me....

Who is always the victim?
Who is saved by the "handsome" prince?
Who, even in the films with a "strong" female character such as Fiona in Shrek, is made happy by being wanted by a male character?
Who is the one who is confused and left bereft until she finds out that he loves her?
Who was never sure of their own identity or abilities or strengths until they met their prince?
Who is never shown as saving herself, being sure of herself, being happy on her own or taking control of her own destiny?

Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, Ariel, Wendy, Fiona (OK, not disney but it counts!), Sleeping Beauty...the ultimate imo, she was dead until he awakened her , even Duchess in Aristocats!

Thank goodness Miss Piggy had attitude before Disney bought them! She loves Kermy, but she kicks him to the kerb if he doesnt deliver!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Bogey everything you've said is true. I just never questioned it. But suppose I was a child when I was watching them and haven't had children yet,so haven't thought about them much as an adult iyswim?

[Bogeyface]

I do kwym. I was exactly the same until a friend pointed it out to me. The women need rescuing in some way, and then the man rescues them. Also, the father/daughter relationships are suspect. Either the father is dead so she is cast adrift without a male in her life, or he is in some way needy and she feels she must look after him and sacrifice herself (Belle being the prime example
). And the step mothers incite hatred of other women who are deemed a threat.

Its not until its pointed out that we see it, and thats the big problem. We have been so conditioned in the concept of woman as victim/man as saviour that we never questioned it!

I wonder if Disney will ever do a film where the heroine says "thanks but no thanks" to the hero?

OR... a same sex relationship movie :o:o

[CinnabarRed]

How about The Lion King? I'm struggling to find any objections to that one.

[Bogeyface]

The Lion King

King in charge, brother doesnt like it. Kings wife has Prince, wife does the work, king takes credit at naming, woman stands behind. Kings Brother not happy. King killed by brother, prince flees. Wife and all other women subjugated, forced to find food and produce and feed babies.

One of the women finds prince. Prince is shown by woman he is needed, goes back, saves women by killing Brother, marries woman who found him, gets her pregnant and then takes the glory at his "naming". Prince has saved all women and one in particular.

Feminist nightmare!

[Bogeyface]

And have you noticed?

King
Brother
Prince

Not Queen
Sister
Princess all bitching it out, but men in charge. Thats Disney for you.