If you had one fish whose face would you like to slap? (Lighthearted)

[Ginandtonicandamassageplease]

There is another mum at a group I go to with DS who I would really like to slap around the face with a wet fish!! She actively discourages her DC from sharing, has the look of a bulldog chewing a wasp all the time and winces if another child lets out anything louder than a whisper. Last week she really took the biscuit when I said hello to her when she arrived. She looked at me and then walked straight past!! I'm about to leave for the same group and struggling not to put a whole fish in my handbag? AIBU? If not, what fish should I use?!!

Ferne Cotton for being a vacuous moron.

A mum at the school, I'd actually punch it down her fecking smug bony ass face.

As in down her nasty mouth. Yes I would.

Bruce forsyth - with a jellyfish

I didn't pick a fish, all the mingling little bits off the harbour floor.

If I sound hateful it's cos I am, and I am currently working through this.

What did she do, living?

Another one for Michael Gove, only I'm afraid I might never stop.

Richard Madley

I don't want to out myself. But she is manipulative, makes nasty little comments about how people dress when she's not 'all that' herself, ooohhh I could go on about parking etc.

I despise her, stupid women spends 6 hours per week on school run as she gets there so early to get the parking space nearest the school.

You know how some people never say anything negative or moan, by omission they imply their life is just......perfect.

To coin a phrase I once heard, yeah I'd fecking like too....

Head of ds2 s first primary. With a hatchet-fish. No such thing? Well a hatchet then. Blunt - to hurt more.

the wife in Homeland.

Arg yes, I can't stand the people who show up at 8am and block our way into DS's SEN early starts - grrr

Chris Evans, with a blue whale (which okay I know isn't a fish, but it lives in the sea and is huge enough to just squash his ego).

My mums best friends daughter.

Always looks down her nose at me, ignores me if we're in the same room. Even though we've been brought up together. She's 42 years old and uses terms like, well Jel

Was always rude to Nan, but played the heart strings when she passed. Secretly, Nan thought she was a rude, self obsessed git too

Arghhhhh just thinking about her makes my BP soar.

I actually dreamt I'd punched her in the face a few nights ago. And very satisfying it was too

thanks pelvic that's terribble.

She actually parks inbetween a bus stop and junction that is not yellow lines. But it does cause an obstruction.

30 mins earlier in am, 40 in pm. Comments about others and you can tell she hasn't brushed her own hair at back. Now I don't mind this I stuff mine under a hat, but then I don't make comments about others, grrrrr.

I think you should buy a traffic cone off of ebay, get there even earlier and plonk it in 'her' space

I've changed my mind. I'm going to do DH's senior manager. For changing the payroll access system without telling DH and his colleague. On the day that payroll had to go out.

I'm thinking of using one of those deep sea blowfish, and making him eat it afterwards. .

The school have started a campaign about the immediate road outside school, so I shall bide my time!

I have removed myself from the rotten quiche I'd found myself in. I always spoke to far more peeps anyways. It was interesting what happend.

mcphee she really riles me, I know I should let go, it's not really healthy is it?

Oooo woooa, a deep see blowfish, now thats a good choice.

I think it's very healthy, but that's only because I'd like to smack see my nemesis fall

I'm spoilt for choice with who to slap but only one fish will do th job [[http://www.whaletimes.org/hagfish.htm]]

grr www.whaletimes.org/hagfish.htm

I'd take a puffer fish , and slap the little bitch at ds3 's high school who's making his life a misery . Just because you're a school governers's daughter , does not make you immune to school rules . And I AM coming after you tomorrow . Your daddy doesn't scare me .