Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

Can I be bothered?

No. Think not.

For questions relating to my mother. She constantly critisised me and nothing was ever good enough snd still isn't. Even my dc is not good enough. Nothing about being a sahm. I've suffered depression on and off for years, because of it. Hope that makes you all happy.

Xenia?

' hope that makes you all happy '

What do you expect?

Higgle working outside the home is not the only way for a mother to gain satisfaction and self-esteem.

Walter, no, it's not, but it's usually the best way to gain an income.

waltermittymistletoe - I agree, but it is one way. Of course if you have a rub;bish job it won't give you either.

I have only stated my public education, my previous occupation and current financial arrangements In responce to people asking. I am blessed with having a good husband and lovely child more than anything else. I'm not a show off and for the last time not smug.

jenna If you were happy working p/t, and it helped with your PND, what motivated you to quit your job and return to the role of SAHM - which you say caused you stress?

Does your DH put pressure on you to stay at home? Your family? I'm beginning to wonder if your motive for this thread was a form of self-flagellation for not being satisfied with your own circumstances

Of course if you have a rub;bish job it won't give you either.

Actually, this raises an interesting point for me.

Out of all the working parents I know, the vast majority of men experience much more job satisfaction than women. Seems grossly unfair.

To me anyway, it seems that women, for the most part, DO still put personal career growth on the back burner.

When a child is off sick 99% of the time it's the mother who takes time off work. Parent/teacher meetings, school plays etc. it mostly falls back on the mother in my experience.

Yet WOHMs are still met with criticism from people like OP!

Oh, and to answer your question, Jenna....yes. The financial gain is worth it. Because like many posters here, i worked my arse off for many years and continue to do so for the qualifications and experience in my very specialised field. And even if there were times when dh was earning good money and technically, we could have gotten by on his salary alone, i continued working. And it's a bloody good job I did since he has been made redundant twice and is currently unemployed.

If you suffer from depression and low self-esteem then it would probably be a good idea not to post things that are inevitably going to lead to people criticising your choices in response to you slating theirs.

I would also expect you to have a little more understanding and care for others who might be struggling with their choices.

Good luck with that OP.
Just be careful your children don't grow up on you, because they won't always need you anticipating their every whim and you'll be left with no skills, a battered cookbook of lovely memories and your husband will trade you in for a woman with a life outside her DCs.

yes of course we are all thrilled to learn you were depressed. FFS, dont judge us by your standards.

OP you can have a good husband and a lovely child and a job you know.

Lots of people do

You may not think you're smug, but there are 30 pages of comments and literally hundreds of posters here telling you otherwise!!

Havent been on MN properly for about 12 months... Who is xenia?

A woman who despises SAHMs.

it seems she's Xenia baiting.

Those of you working Mum's who've diligently typed out a list of advantages to being a working Mother, turn it around.
Imagine if a stay at home Mum typed out a list of advantages to being a stay at home Mother.
Would it annoy you?
To balance things, I'm going to write one. Let's see how you WOHM's feel about it.

1. instilling your values in your child, being the main influence in their life because you are with them most of the time.
2. all studies suggest preschool children fare far better with a stay at home parent.
3. care for your child: instead of subcontracting the job out
4. they grow up so fast; don't miss it
5. set a good example to your children by being a hands-on, full-time parent
6. a recent yougov study suggests 1% of women want to work full-time. Do it for you, if you can. 99% want to work full-time or not at all. We grow 'em, birth 'em and breastfeed 'em, so it's not sexism, it's biology. if you can and want to
7. the vast majority of happy kids from happy homes would far rather be looked after at home by their parents than a childminder/care provider

Yes, it's fine to type out lists explaining the benefits of working parenthood, but turn it around.

Why are you asking about Xenia?

99% want to work part time or not at all

Who on earth were they asking?

Ha- jenna you have given yourself away as a ncer!

FWIW, you aren't that wealthy if you're still getting child benefit, and i'd love to know if your DH works for your father, or has a real job!