Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

But it's my name,,,have you not been reading my posts?? You had to work so it's different, of course you need to provide for your family. If circumstances changed for me I would go out and clean toilets for my family. I just disagree with mums who choose to work and stick kids in childcare for (others to raise) rather than who HAVE to. See the difference x

Jenna, are you going to home ed?

Holey I understand that. Really, I do.

But that doesn't mean she'll be the only one bothered by them. And actually, I don't think she's bothered in the slightest.

I've read Xenia's posts. I don't engage!

er walter ... did I say being an SAHM didn't give you intellectual stimulation? NO. It doesn't give me much in that way, fully appreciate others get loads from it. The ref to shiny sinks - OP states that she thinks nice clean house and home cooked meals are more important than a career. I am playing her words back at her (but with added sarcasm because suggesting WOHMs neglect their kids because i work deserves a bit of a slap IMO)

Or in other words.... everyone has the right to their choice without being made to feel judged about it. WHich is what I said in my post.

No intention to patronise anyone other than OP

Christ, here we go again.
In an attempt to undermine and ridicule the ridiculousness of the OP, working Mum's jump on the stay at home Mum bashing wagon as if their lives depended on it. To prove that the OP is wrong, they go on about the dull monotony of being a sahm, wasting potential, not using brain etc.etc. yawn, and wax on about the great example they're setting by working.
Well, bloody good for you.
I've been a sahm and wohm and both of them have advantages and disadvantages. Right now I'm a sahm and am setting a fantastic example to my daughters, fuck you very much x

OP:

I've worked freelance (at home, school hours, blah blah) since the first child was tiny.

My 16-yr-old said to me yesterday that maybe he would have been better off in boarding school from the age of 7, as then it would have forced him to mix with boys his own age, instead of 'being raised by people just as weird and unsocial as me'.

To be fair, we were discussing the fact that his voice was probably good enough for choir school at 7 but that we'd never even considered packing him off; but at his current age, he disagrees with us. I shall forgive the ungrateful little sod because he has Asperger's and anyway I love him dearly.

But don't expect your child to thank you for being at home with them. After all, you aren't exactly gushing with thanks to your own mother for it.

Well I don't know about you OP, but I just had children so I could send them out to work as baby models and bring home yet more money to fritter away on pretty shoes and handbags. I certainly didn't want to 'love them' or anything unpleasant like that.

Oh hang on, are we being serious?

No way, can't think of anything worse than home schooling.

Jenna - genuine question here...

What about mums who genuinely are better mums because they work, e.g. I know people who find it really hard being at home don't have the patience etc etc, the found by working they appreciated the time they had with their DC more as a result and were a better parent....would you have people in this category stay at home and be unhappy and snappy and fed up with their DC?

Ohm, and Jenna, again,

Why mums who choose to work?

Please don't lay that burden on your child. Really. She needs to know that she can indeed choose.

'Ohm'? It's the physicist in me coming out.

waltermittymistletoe I hope not too but as MaryZ said way upthread this seems to be a situation where there is some unity between SAHMs and WOHMs :)

OP you haven't introduced a new debate here. We can all see the difference that you are pointing out but we don't support forcing women into a situation and removing choices. You are not reading other people's reasoning for why they work when maybe downsizing would allow them to stay at home.

LEARN SOME EMPATHY!!!

Has Xenia been on?

But Jenna there is NO difference between the needs of the dc whose Mother works, and one whose Mother doesn not - surely you must think that childcare is bad and damaging in some way, non? For all children?

So Jenna, if your dc go to school, will you still be 'raising' them during the hours they are at school? And if they go to clubs /activities, will you stop 'raising' them as you drop them off and then start again when you pick them up?

And why would you be interested in Xenia if you have just joined?

I'm with walter. There is no need to denigrate other people's parental choices or imply superiority for your choice.

The parenting choices men make have hardly been mentioned on this thread. That special judginess is reserved for women's choices. Still. In 2012. Way hay equality lives.

So you would be happy for your Daughter in twenty odd years time to have maybe gone to University, started a career she enjoys, then give it up to raise her children (since this seems impossible to do if you work) because this is the attitude you will be bringing her up with, and you see nothing wrong with that?

Yes DD, you can be whatever you want to be, until you become a mother, then that must stop!

If you chose to stay at home, fine, if you chose to work, also fine. You keep banging on about having a choice, but in your world there is no choice, stay at home mothers, or suffer neglected children who will grow up to be all that is wrong with this country!

Because you stayed at home and i worked does not mean you love your children more than me, but you seem to think so.

I think that this is a clash of cultures - correct me if I am wrong OP. I think you have had very little access to education compared to posters here. I think that what you have been reading on MN must seem outlandish.

Smartphones are bringing more people access to information and support online.

Good luck Jenna, I think you will learn a lot