Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

Well not only do I fail my DS I also must fail my DSC also. I work so that the DH's ex can stay at home and live off DH and the tax payers - what I should do is downsize and let ex know she will be downsizing also, perhaps she will be happier about this because then she will have no money to go anywhere and really will send quality time with her children also - how selfish am I, if I give up work I can save two families - quick will let DH know flawless argument

Jenna2012 you say you and your Dp are very traditional, clearly not that traditional or he would have married you before giving you a child

(Everyone else - I'm not being judgemental to anyone else I to had a an untraditional child out of wedlock something else to put me in the stocks for tut tut)

Hm maybe your mother would not have been so critical and overbearing if she had other things in her life besides children. Like a job?

Hi Jenna,

Just wondering how you would view our set up.

I work full time and DH is the full time stay at home parent.

He isn't the best educator of our DD as he is a physicist and has no training in education at anything below degree level.

If we could afford it we would send DD to nursery where she would be getting better social and educational opportunities.

Shouldn't you lot ALL BE AT WORK????

OP - for what its worth this is what I think DCs need - a home where they feel loved and secure, parent(s) to whom they can say or admit anything and know that they are still loved and cn find forgiveness and understanding. A home to grow up in where they are able to dream dreams, be supported in all their endeavours, and learn how to be moral, compassionate, 'can-do' young adults who have the chance to achieve their potential.

I think you probably think that way too.

But so do most, if not all of the other posters. Finding the best (and also, in this financial climate, the most practical) way to raise our DCs is what we're all aiming for isn't it? No need to fight about it though.

My mother is not career minded and has always been a sahm. In my family all the women, raise there children because financially they live within their means Thus resulting in looking after their children.

LMFAO @ Chickens :D

So u MN mums don't think a child benefits more by being raised by you

There is no single answer to that is there and you know that.

If it means you struggle financially and can't provide basic needs then no of course mother has to work.

Some mothers find they are better mothers because they work.

There is no one size fits all, when will you get that.

As I said in my earlier post live and let live.

FFS, you're still raising your child even if you're not glued to them 24/7!

From 5 the school has them 30 hrs a week anyway (yay!)

I am working timetosmile I am multitasking reading about physiology of birth and researching the social context of motherhood on MN

Yes, you are best placed to educate your children when you don't know the difference between there and their....

I raised all 3 of my children

i didnt relinquish parental rights because I went to work.

So do you want your daughter to aspire to have a career?

Sorry for asking Jenna not being rude but your values reminded me of some friends I have in Asia from my time living there, they have different cultural outlook on staying at home and the values of looking after DH after work,

There is something nice and well meaning about your values - the positive aspect of your post is that at least you know who you are, where you stand and what you want to do.

Saying that making sweeping judgements on people who choose a different way of life seems very immature. And a very negative way to ask what you say is a real question?

I should be working but am eating biscuits and procrastinating instead. And by working I mean cleaning mud off the walls that the bastard spaniel deposited there after his walk.

'their children' not 'there children' I wouldn't normally be rude enough to correct grammar but as you are claiming to be the best educator for your child....

Jenna, a serious answer to this

So u mn mums don't think a child benefits more from being raised by you?

It depends on very many things. In my case I found the baby and toddler years unimaginably tedious. I struggled with the age appropriate play, hated toddler groups, couldn't get to grips with it at all. My DSs therefore had the benefit of going to a lovely nursery where they played to their hearts content, drew, painted and learned how to mix with other children while I worked.

At primary age the juggling of childcare and work became tricky so I stayed at home. At that stage DSs were interesting and fun and it was a pleasure.

Now I work as they are teenagers and out more than I am.

Just because you have a baby doesn't necessarily make you a good mum. You think you're going to be but sometimes other people can actually provide things better than you can yourself.

You need to open your eyes, read about other people's experiences and opinions and recognise that there is more than one way to do this. If you don't you will be upsetting plenty of people at the school gate and that will have an impact on your children.

x posts

sorry Jenna i don't normally post on ridiculous threads such as this but if you are a SAHM then great for you, placing such a blantant criticism on other mothers is simply unfair and arrogant.
both DH and I work, we have too, that is how we pay for the roof over our head and food on our table, our DS is loved and wonderfully looked after, he is a thriving toddler who is up with and/or ahead alot of his peers. He is loved, adored and centre of our world. I feel he has not suffered at all from our well choosen childcare selected for him and the quality of time we spend with him when at home. Rather he has benefited from the variety and interaction with others, he is confident, outgoing and a pure pleasure to all who know him. I have no regrets over the choices we have made. Yes if we were super rich then maybe one of us would stay at home but that is not the case.
on top of that I see a lot of SAHM who quite frankly don't seem to make a great job of it - surely it about quality of time spent with important people not quantity.

This thread is fucking depressing.

I cannot believe that people cannot make a case for their situation without slagging off SAHMs.

And it's not enough to say "being a SAHM is great BUT..." and then go on to say how intelligent you are, how you have a life, how you're a good role model for young girls.

Yes, you're all of things. But FFS. Going on about shiny floors and kitchen sinks in fucking nasty. There are more than a few SAHMs on this thread. NONE of them, apart from OP, has slagged off WOHM.

But there have been LOADS of posts slagging off SAHM.

I like going to work more than I like looking after children and cleaning. So I suspect I am never going to understand you and you are never going to understand me OP. The difference is I don't judge other people's choices and ASSUME that mine is the correct one.
HOWEVER, my children are being raised in a tolerant, open-minded household; sounds like yours are perhaps being raised in one that doesn't really understand that everyone is different. So I feel a little smug that mine might be slightly better prepared for the real world.

jossysgiants what an excellent idea!

And then op come back to MN and we will help and advise all we can. Until then I can see we are all just talking to a brick wall.

I'm curious as to what you feel about how healthcare would continue to be provided for (and education for that matter)... When the entire female workforce decide that you are totally right and give up their jobs. 50% of doctors are female you know, over 50% of teachers are female.

I think you'll be okay regarding teachers because you do consider yourself the best 'educator and facilitator' for your child. Are you also the best healthcare provider?

I didn't read it that way, walter, and I am a SAHM. People make different choices/decisions/have different circumstances. There is no right way. Women always feel defensive of their position on this issue. Damned if you do, damned if you don't etc. I doubt most fathers have this work/home angst.