Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

Do you mean love? As in only you can love your child?

You do know that's bollocks don't you?

OP stop wasting time on here. You are neglecting your child

Living of my dh earnings ??? We are a unit, a couple. We share everything without resentment

Right now maybe...

Atually, I dont moan about my job, I love my job. Same as when DS was with a childminder she loved him.

Sharing everything without resentment?? For now maybe...........your day will come, mark my words!

I would disagree Jenna, I have nannied for children and I genuinely loved some of them, agreed not the same love as a mother but I did, and yes you moan about them but have you honestly never ever moaned about something your child has done.....REALLY?

Right now you are choosing to debate on mumsnet and apparently have an insightful conversation with your DP who may or may not be your husband and apparently not bringing home any bacon at the moment rather than stimulating your child, cleaning your house or cooking meals from scratch.
I am choosing to be at work, having already seen my children off to school, made tonight's dinner, Hoovered and put a wash on.

See, choices. All choices.

And you still haven't told us if you intend to raise your daughter to want a career, to go to uni, to be independent.

WorraLiberty
Ohh I think I've found a photo of the OP's Husband

Is that Gorgeous George Galloway??!

Jenna which country were you raised in?

You're tripping yourself up way too much.

Why isn't DH out catching pigs for all the bacon? Why is he reading this with you?

Also says no wonder the country is in the state it is if parents don't take responsibility of raising their children but dump them in ft childcare

Do you mean all the parents using childcare, therefore helping to create jobs?

He's not the brightest your DH, is he?

Does he work for your daddy?

"I have ' achieved' raising a child, having a solid and blessed marriage.my Dp is my best friend. Having a beautiful clean home with daily cooked meals. is that wrong of me?"

Oddly enough so have I, despite working full time after Maternity leave!

We both worked to you know, put food on the table, keep a roof over our heads etc.

I grew up with both parents not working, Mam in the "traditional" role of staying at home, she had given up her career in nursing to have children, Dad was a miner and by the time that was not an option, he could not work due to being half crippled with a bad back. It was no fun at all.

My mam returned to University when i was 15 and did her return to nursing course and I was so happy she was going back to something she loved.

Oh and "Mums, if you can juggle childcare with your partner then it's a win/ win situation. If you work around your child's school hours that's perfect also." These are the situations were you think it is ok for mums to work! Well, I am also a Nurse, because I followed in my Mothers footsteps (I did want to be a miner like my dad when i was 5 but they got rid of the mine!) I loved my job, not more than I loved my children, no, but it was not something i really would have wanted to give up.

I do nurture and look after and educate my children, and to be quite honest, you are doing your children a disservice if you are raising them with the attitude you have shown here. My children are not neglected in any way, and if you think that children where both parents work are neglected children, then you have a very rosy view of life. Oh and Ds was bf for 17 months, in fact he only stopped the week before DD was born who bf for 18 months,so not only was I working full time, I still managed to bf while pregnant with my second child.

You come across as very smug and worthy to be honest and you think your way is the right way and the rest of us who have both parents working in the family have poor little neglected children who spend all day sitting at the window crying looking out into the rain! Tbh you need to grow up.

Lala land I think

"My childhood being crap was nothing to go with finances or lifestyle, just an overbearing, highly critical mother."

Soooo.... you'd probably have been better off in FT childcare?

I've not read the whole thread because basically its too long and I can't be arsed, but here's my tuppence worth...

You are perfectly entitled to be a SAHM. If that's what makes you happy and gives you fulfilment then great. Some women who don't have to want to go out to work. That fulfils them. Also great. Some women have no choice but to work so that's what they do. Some women have no choice that they can't work due to disability or health issues. What I'm getting at is everyone is different.

Ok, now here goes... I'm currently on maternity leave as my DD is only 6 months old. My DH earns more then enough for me not to work, pay our not insignificant mortgage, all our bills and even save every month. But guess what? I'm going to go back to work in 6 months time. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love how challenging it can be. I love that what I do genuinely helps people/saves lives (and yes I actually have helped save someone's life little boast there ) I want to contribute to OUR house and home. My DH will look after OUR child on my night shift. We are equal. WE had a child not just me. He is 100% behind my desire to go back to work and is actively encouraging it even though financially there is no need.

My DD will go to nursery 2 days a week to help her learn how to interact with other children, how to share, how to gain social skills. She will be taught these by trained qualified people. I am an intelligent woman but I am not the best qualified person to educate my daughter.

I hope my DD grows up to see that women are not defined by who they are married to.

You choose to stay at home with your child which is what works for you. Don't flame others that choose a different path.

Ooh, X posts with Boulevard

I think people are being too mean to Jenna. She obviously loves being at home with her child and doesn't understand how anyone else would want to leave their child with a nursery/minder if they didn't have to.

I also love being at home but I realise that it is not for some women for various reasons eg they want to make sure they have a career to go back to and too much time out will prevent this or maybe they really are bored at home and if that is the case their child is better off being cared for partly be someone else and then the Mum can come back in the evening happier and give their child more instead of being miserable all day!!

Also I am a teacher, I work a few hours from home doing private tuition. I know I can always get back into teaching in a school when my children are at school themselves. It is not the same in some other areas of work.

I think the sahm versus wohm debate is like the breastfeeding versus FF debate. What suits one person and their family/children doesn't always suit another.

Is that Gorgeous George Galloway??!

I'm not sure if that would be more or less disturbing to be honest

Does your mother regret being a SAHM?

I would like my child to be well educated.

Yes I was born and bread in the uk

So u mn mums don't think a child benefits more from being raised by you?

Jenna what you are failing to see is that things can change. 1 year ago I thought I was married to my best friend that we had a wonderful relationship etc, etc my house was clean I cooked daily meals and worked full time.
Then 6 months ago that 'wonderful man' blew my world apart whilst I had thought we were working to the same mutual goals it turns out he had his own agenda with another woman.
Thankfully I was working full time and I have been able to maintain that clean home with daily home cooked meals for my DD whilst her Daddy moved immediately in with his OW whose child has then proceeded to physically bully my DD.
I really hope this never happens to you, but you should have a back up plan for if things don't work out the way you hoped.

Maryz tbh I see a lot of WOHM being really awful about SAHM.

Like I said upthread, I'm not sure it's intentional but it's there all the same. Sad really.

boy did I pick the wrong day to sneak onto Mumsnet in order to survive a dull conference call...

Let me make this simple for you OP given I am probably one of the posters you refer to.

I work long hours because it is required and working shorter hours is not an option in this job. So downsizing would be pretty much disastrous given it would mean no job. Hope that clears that up.

I work because that's what we humans have to do to earn the money and it is also A Good Thing to have a job that also allows you some self respect and/or intellectual stimulation.

I complain because I am a) human, b) tired and c) constantly bombarded with guilt daggers from people with lovely shiny kitchen floors and neatly pressed kids. So honestly I would dearly, sincerely and resolutely like to tell you to get back to shining your sink and stuffing mushrooms and wish you every satisfaction with it. Its just a shame you can't accept other people's choices too.

Jenna, do you maybe need to go away for a bit and think about everything you'd heard and read here. I haven't yet seen anybody agree with your position. It is nice that you are so happy with your life, but would you not feel even better if you let go of judging people and stopped ridiculing situations you don't understand and don't seem to have any experience of? Is there any food for thought here for you at all?

And one final question. Why do you feel your mother was overbearing and highly critical? What was it about her life, do you think, that made her act like that?