Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

We are all different and what's best for you and your family might not be what's best for me and my family.

The saying "Don?t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes" springs to mind reading this thread.

I study FT. DH works FT. I moan because regardless of who brings in what, teh housework should be shared between all members of the household and DH has not been pulling his weight recently.

Motherhood is about more than breastfeeding. No men can't do it, but neither can a lot of women.

I think it is better for my son is to be looked after by a very devoted and lovely childminder, than to be home with a depressed mother, which is what I would be if I wasnt studying. Or are depressed mothers another one of your exempt groups?

'So out of interest, what would you do if your DH was made redundant?'

Go cap in hand to daddy I suspect Lunatic. You know, the man who provided such an awful childhood for OP. The poor guy.

I bring home the bacon in this house. Organic, grass fed, no water added, traceable bacon too.

Now that's smug

Look OP is in a position where she has little or no grasp of the reality facing other people. She has demonstrated a total lack of empathy with the situation that other people may find themselves in. She doesn't seem to be able to appreciate that financial situations may be precarious and that future employment prospects aren't great. In short she's totally wrapped up in the bliss of motherhood with a cute toddler and can't imagine anything outside that.

Her views are old fashioned but not uncommon. She's the product of her upbringing and can't help being out of touch with reality. She's obviously never had to face the reality that other people face. The idea of downsizing is laughable really but I don't suppose there's been anything in her life so far that indicates that there's any other way.

Don't engage, don't get upset, don't get angry. Karma will get her :)

Will you encourage your daughter to have a career then? will you encourage her to have ambition?

I wonder if we should set up a Christmas help line. You know, for children who have parents without intellect or imagination.

It can be a tough time of year for them...

I WOHM and am still bfing my 16 month dd.

Yay me.

Man alive! I think this might be the worst post I've seen recently OP - well done you! I'm a SAHM but you've really annoyed me. I think working mums are excellent role models for their children, especially their daughters. Going out to work doesn't mean you don't love your children you silly fool. I'm astonished that you can think that, let alone voice it and insult so many wonderful mothers for no reason. Sterilising the family silver and ironing socks doesn't make a good mother. And as for saying "surely you can downsize" - there is something going on called a recession, there isn't anywhere left to downsize for some people, nor can the purse strings get any tighter but 10/10 for insensitivity.
I can't believe how cross you've made me and it doesn't even target me. You've made me want to roar like a dinosaur, just like DS!

I work and I raise my kids ...does you dh not matter to you kids Jenna? I mean he neglects them by working does he not?

See I wonder if that's what the DH does now . Work for Dad . Nice that the OP is so negative about her childhood , yet seems quite content for him to cushion her lifestyle choices when required . The same choices we all have to make , except that most of us don't feel the need to get on an Internet forum and castigate others to make us feel better .

Thank you Jins, you've made me feel a bit calmer! Bring on the karma!!

Jenna I don't think anyone would disagree that the very specific situation you describe where a family are financially stable with no need for the mother to go back to work but the mother choses to and as a result the babies are in nursery from a very very young age and only see their mother for one hour a day is less than ideal....however, it does not automatically mean that child can't grow up to be a well rounded and adjusted individual.

You say you had the far from perfect childhood yet from what I can tell you seem to think you are living the perfect life so nothing has gone wrong for you....? Is that not case in point? Or are you living the way you do because you feel bitter and think this is what you have to do (that is a genuine question).

As this thread has established things are never as black and white as the situation you describe, there are countless reasons why women go back to work listed throughout this thread.

All these threads do is stir up bad feeling and competitiveness between SAHM and WAHM and there is no need for people to justify the choices they make.

I work, both my children went to nursery from a relatively young age (8 months and 1 year) but I bend over backwards to organise my life so they don't miss out....I go to work early so I can be back in time to listen to them read in the evenings, do their homework with them, cook them meals. I clean the house when they are in bed. I organise my life so my children do come first in every way possible.

I personally tend to find that when someone is so blantantly looking for approval and confirmation that what they are doing is best it is an indication that they aren't secure in the choices they have made and need the reassurance that they have done the right thing.

I think it would be safe to say that everyone on MN loves their children and does what it best for them in their own way, we are all different and make different choices can we not just live and let live?

Well ssid Jin --assuming this is real*

Said not ssd ffs!

What about vegetarians Jenna? And Jews and Muslims? There's going to be big problems if their dhs being home bacon.

My do wants to work and is against me returning to employment as he has same values/ ideas as me

Oh I see now...he is a controlling sexist and you are convincing yourself this is normal.

I would grow a pair if I were you!

CBh. Glad you understand where I'm coming from and what my argument is.

Mums, if you can juggle childcare with your partner then it's a win/ win situation. If you work around your child's school hours that's perfect also.

Dp has been reading this thread with interest. As for kewcucumber who would love my marriage to fail, we have a thing called trust. It's the most important thing in our marriage.I have only ever had one partner . We don't go shagging other ppl. Like some mums have said, we don't stick our kids in m- f childcare and persue our career just incase dp was to run off an have an affair And We do have different personalities but it's our values and moralsthat are identical.

But
Unlike
Lots of
Little
Schmucks
Here
Is the
Truth

And twanking away to our collective outrage so I am not joining in here.