Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

but it's not an either/or sitch is it

so you ain't asking the right question

obv not answering our questions you slippery eel

You can't put a career over raising children. What a ridiculous statement.

What would you choose?

Well as I'm single and don't have a child of my flesh or blood what box do I tick? Is there a "no candidate acceptable" box? I used to like those at Uni - I think they should bring them in for general elections.

You seem to think a career is this terribly bad thing.

jenna you said your father worked, your mother was and always has been a SAHM and yet, you say, your childhood was "crap".

why are you even asking these questions as if you are the font of all knowledge on the subject?
clearly your mother staying home didnt make you happy either.
nor did you father paying for your education.

what, exactly, do you want?

You've got a bit of a false dichotomy thing going on, haven't you? Either SAHM or only see your kid a few hours a week.

Most working parents I know bend themselves into contortions trying to find the best possible solution for their family. I work FT but flexi-hours (3 very long days, 2 short days allowing me to school pick-ups and drop-offs) and dp works largely from home. Meaning that our eldest (at school) is always picked up by one of us, and our youngest has 20 hours of childcare per week, leaving many more waking hours when she is NOT in childcare. And yes, as soon as the kids are in bed we have our laptops out doing more work, and yes we are knackered.

But we pay our bills and our taxes and see our children a fair bit too. Which makes us lots more representative than your friends.

i'm a single, full time student mother of three.
i'm fucked. i leave the dc for hours every day and don't even get paid.

Op hasn't your dh put his career over raising his children?

You still haven't answered the student parents question Jenna. Am I an uncaring fuckwit because I put DD2 in nursery during the week whilst I attend lectures and work on assignments? Because I'm trying to come out with a degree whilst being pregnant with DC3, looking after 2 DDs, supporting my husband who has depression and trying to cope with PND from the birth of DD2?

Whoop de doo for you that you're comfortable enough to not have to work and that you have wealthy parents. Why does the woman have to stay at home and the man work? Did you step out of the 1950's?

Okay people,,, do u think it's right or wrong to put career over raising ur children. If you have a choice and money isnt an issue. What would you choose?

The kids will be at school and i'll spend my days doing things I enjoy, just for me.

Night night Dobby.

Moaning mn career mums. Yes you...

The thread title is hilarious, has that curmudgeonly air to it....

Honey, it's awful isn't it?

All that showing children that women's ambitions are as valid as men's? Showing children that work can be fulfilling and enjoyable? Teaching the value of money? Encouraging pride in their abilities? Showing that a woman's education is worth something?

Tsk.

Next thing you know these women will be wearing trousers!! Pass the smelling salts, there's a dear.

For most of us working mums, we both work and raise our children.

I work, my dh is (mostly) a sahd. We're all very happy with this arrangement. But obviously this is feminism gone mad in your book and my children are clearly suffering by being looked after by their dad! In my dd's class at school, there are twins who have two dads - where do they fit in your parenting manual?

I really don't understand why you are so bothered by other peoples choices. And if you were so secure in yours, you wouldn't seek validation from strangers on an Internet forum.

i think jenna got confused with her story. didn't she say her parents both worked earlier on?

Out of interest, how much did your dad pay for your education? Has he asked for a refund?

Ryle - of course if I weren't a single adoptive mother then i too would have answered "I'd choose to be sitting at home eating chocolates whilst my child was happily ensconced in school"

but sadly my opinion is unimportant.

On the upside my child is happy, poor fool, he knows no better.

I have a choice, money isn't an issue DH makes more than enough.

I work because I think it is best for our family. I think it is good for my boys to see a woman who can look after herself if she needs to. I think it is good for them to have the many and varied experiences at childcare and learn to rub along with people without me present. I believe it is especially good for them to see that while DH and I are completely seperate independant people who could operate seperately we choose to be together. I believe it is good for them to see that sometimes DH is their main carer because my job is as important as his.

I was a SAHM when I believed that was the best fit for my family, I am currently part time because I wanted to see how DS2 went with childcare before I committed to a full time position (he was like a duck to water, so I am full time next year).

You are very silly to assume that you know how best to parent other people's children. There isn't any 'right' way.

OK, I'm off to bed now. There's a couple of short people living upstairs who insist on jumping in my bed first thing in the morning. Can't imagine why. They SAY they're my children but who's to know? Must check with the nanny next time I have a moment between skiing trips and Knightsbridge lunches.

I'm assuming op's child will be homeschooled until 18 as she is the best educator/facilitator.

you are either very young and very naive, or you are a journo, or you are on here for sport.

my kids are now 21 and 15.
they are fab. we all seem to like each other rather a lot.
i went back to part time work when they were babies to ensure they had food, and toys, and clothes.
2 years ago i went and got a full time career. i dont know many people, none in fact, who have put a career over and above raising their children.

why cant you live and let live? i wont criticise you and your choices, why do you feel the need to sit in such judgement over others? you clearly are very privileged but you are not sounding terribly clever, astute or compassionate for those in any different a situation to that you chose to be in.

ask yourself, who really has the problem here?

and now, im out.