to ask what the worst present you ever had was

[Justforlaughs]

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

Dunno about worst present but FIL gave DD a bday card yesterday that says (approx) "if you're feeling happy, grumpy or sleepy the other dwarves will be jealous."

DD is two years old.

I once got a potato peeler from DH - could have stabbed him with it.
An elderly Aunt of DH's gave me a flan dish which still had flan in it.
MIL gave me a pair of clip on earrings that fell off when I put them on. When I asked for the receipt as I needed to unfortunately return them I was told "you can't they are an old pair of mine dear".

For my 40th I asked DH only for the gift of time. I told him that I wanted all the photos on the computer put into albums so that I could look at them. I was so excited on the day to be receiving all these wonderful albums but as we were in Devon on holiday at the time I was a little confused that there was no 'extra' bag in the car. On the morning of my birthday he opened the laptop to show me a website where he had put the photos!!!! I cried and cried but to this day have NEVER received the effing albums. Nor have I looked at the website.

The winners have to be the tin of bins that then got retracted, the tights with 3 legs and the wrapped up wrapping paper.

Oh just remembered when I was about 18 my Mum bought me bright blue cords from M and S size 8 extra long. I still remember asking her if she thought she was buying for Brooke Shields!

I know of someone who was looking forward to receiving their christmas present as was told by the giver that they had been saving for most of the year. When the day came the present came and was in a massive christmas bag you know the extra big ones and it was taped across the top so you couldnt peek in it.
At present opening time you can imagine friends face when inside the bag was nearly a years worth of empty kitchen rolls and friend was told "because we know how much you like to recyle" I for obvious reasons found it hilarious but my friend was like"wtaf"!

Oh that is horrible! Evil!

Oh just remembered, when DS was 5 my brother bought him a book 'The SAS Survival Guide'.

Dad gave mum a tractor battery for Christmas one year. He even wrapped it up. She bought him a nighty for his next birthday

A keep fit for oldies book entitled Sexual Excersize for my 30th birthday - I thought it was meant to be a joke, until the soon to be ex went onto explain he thought it would be a good idea for me to start excersizing to stop everything going saggy - & he wondered why he was dumped

Oh, I've also had a blank firing gun from a boyfriend (pre amnesty) didn't see that one coming & my DM once bought me a patchwork coney fur bomber jacket - apart from being hideous, I was a militant veggie/animal rights advocate at the time

For DS's 5th birthday, one of his friends gave him a card which read:
On your birthday, you'll be like an egg...
If you're not getting laid you'll definitely be getting smashed!
I was when I read it, I hope it was an innocent mistake...

Oh God, you've just reminded me (and I'm ashamed to say) that my son's 2nd birthday ended in a row, between me and (now EX) hubby. EX's dad (a misogenyst of the worst kind) sent his 2yr old grandson a card displaying an exhausted looking cartoon cat on the front. "Happy Birthday...." And then some euphemism alluding to "chasing pussy".

I was so disgusted I refused to put it on the mantelpiece and a row ensued as husband could NOT see the problem. We are now (happily) divorced and I am remarried to a grown up.

My mother has form for presents that seem wonderful... until you take into account the context.

For example, a few years ago she got me an iPod. Great gift, you might think! But, she had also got me one the previous year When I asked for the receipt and explained that she'd bought me one last year, she went apeshit at me for being so ungrateful and told me how apparently I'd asked her specifically for one that year!

I slunk out and ebayed it

From one of my students when working in Japan - a pink, feminine, FACIAL HAIR SHAVER. The fact that it was in a gift set makes me think this is not an unusual present.

One year my ds (who's not short of a bob or two) was selling Christmas decorations. I sold loads on her behalf and didn't expect or get any sort of payment for selling them.

Beginning of December my DH was made redundant and we were being very careful what we were spending and had a frugal Christmas. However, I still bought ds and her partner some lovely presents which we took up (she lives couple of hours drive away) between Christmas and New year.
Guess what she bought me for that Christmas? A diary (free promotional one) and a box of Christmas baubles to hang on the tree. I sat there dumbstruck thinking is this a joke and she's going to bring out my real present. She didn't.

I got a clock from DH on my 30th. Tick tick tick...

From one of my students when working in Japan - a pink, feminine, FACIAL HAIR SHAVER.

I'd be MORTIFIED if someone gave me that!

A terry chocolate orange. Hate the things and dh at the time knew it.

My MIL and I had a massive argument the day before she went on holiday. She bought everyone a present and she got me- a pack of calming teas. I am still not talking to her!

A very sheer black night gown and matching G string, bustline trimmed in black fluffy feathers from MIL and FIL, opened in front of the entire family xmas day.

My mother who was usually noted for her good taste and well chosen presents sent me the most abominable crochet hat and scarf for my birthday once. That the hat was more suitable for a very elderly person (or a teapot) was bad enough but the scarf was miles too short and the whole horrid set came in a very nasty combination of lilac and burgundy acrylic wool. I rather suspect she had won it at a fete earlier in the year...

The worst Christmas present has to be the year ex-h (not then an ex!) handed me a plastic Tesco carrier bag. From which emerged, unwrapped, a metal tin opener (from the dog and still labelled with the price - 89p) a pair of baby pink ankle socks (wrong size) and a small wooden bowl marked "Reduced to clear £1.99". This collection of unwanted items had clearly been put together without thought or interest and all was made worse by the fact I had to open it on Christmas Day in front of his family who looked at me in an unhelpfully pitying manner.

DH bought me a really pretty underwear set one year. He managed to buy the right bra size but for some reason got size 20-22 knickers. I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination (actually a 14) but I was a bit

an aunt of mine once gave me a packet of blu-tak for christmas. same christmas she gave my mum (her sister) a packet of 20 paper napkins....

Lots that just made me

As a child, I was given an audio book, that I had already read 'because I liked reading'.

A calligraphy set with bright green ink, as joint present between me and DH. Really odd, what we were going to do with it together?

Last couple of years, I've had dozens of crafty type kits - 'knit your own scarf', 'make a felt bookmark', etc. To me, these are what you might buy a nine year old girl. Not a 35 year old working mother, who has very little spare time and no desire to do anything crafty. I assume it's just because these kits are all over the shops and it's just easy to buy them?

The obligatory tart's underwear in the wrong size from first serious boyfriend.

'Joke' presents from DH (alongside the main one, I should add) that I really don't find funny or cute.