to ask what the worst present you ever had was

[Justforlaughs]

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

This post is hilarious. Thanks for the giggles.

As for me, the worst present ever was a grey cardigan.

I am aghast that PurpleGentian's dh thought that Halfords was ever going to be a good place to buy her christmas present. Dh has made some mistakes over the years, but even he has never been that misguided.

Oh, I've remembered more!

A dictionary from my grandparents for my 18th

A vegetable steamer so 'you can eat more healthily' from someone who was morbidly obese. I am a size 8. Maybe she thought my size meant I must be into healthy eating. I'm not.

Goldfish in a bowl. I hate fish. Really, really hate them.

I got a wtf one from in-laws last year. It was a narrow piece of silk about a foot long, hemmed all the way round, with a green and brown blobby pattern all over. Nobody could work out what it was meant to be.

Apparently it was an 'accessory' from a very trendy shop in New Zealand. It was not clear what you were supposed accessorise with it.

My work did a collection for me when DD was born.
They gave me a silver plated noahs ark money box which was pretty tastless in it'self but it also had my DD's name engraved on it spelt wrong!!! I mean it wasn't even her name, it was on letter misplaced but that meant it spelt the wrong name FFS! I didn't have the heart to tell them becuase it was a friend who'd had it done and she hadn't noticed!

I looked it up online and it cost £15 so it was obviously a cover up for the fact everyone had been stingy putting in to my collection so they didn't want to get me vouchers so i could see how much money there wasn't

A penguin bar wrapped in toilet paper, yes really.

settling in to read this over lunch

It'sARockAndRollLifeILeadTiggaxx

DH & I were just talking about a gifts and I have no clue what to get him. He just said socks...I think I can play on this

Winners for me so far are the retrieved tin of beans, the grave plot and the recycling bag.

For my 18th, my Dad gave me an iron. I still lived at home, FFS.

A sit up bar that you put under the door and get cracking on.

The present memories are flooding back.

My nan (who was lovely) bought my sister and my three female cousins beautiful girly jewellery boxes for Christmas when we were teenagers. She bought me something else, I can't even remember what is was, because apparently I disliked 'pretty things'. I don't know where she got that idea from. I was very upset at the time.

A wicker basket filled with varnished dried fruit and plastic loaves of bread.
For Christmas, from my parents, when i was 22.
I felt at the time they must secretly hate me

I mentioned to my DH that i would like some sexy under wear, you know for our own personal time.
He told his mum and she also got me some godawful red lacy number WTF?

just seen threads from mrswee that reminded me of the silver wedding certificate box with my name misspelt on the top from my mil and fil ?? we had been married for 5 years at this point together for 20 ????

Wiping away tears of helpless laughter at BeatTheClock's painting...

A really, really ugly naff clock made of green glass. The worst thing was that it was fairly expensive and therefore my PILS and BIL and SIL had clubbed together to buy it for me and DH as a joint Christmas present. So we lost out on two potentially nice presents each to have one truly shite thing between us.

A size 18 top from BHS. White with a sparkly sequin bit in the middle. Non maternity. My mother said that 'it would fit whilst I was prg'.

It didn't I am size 12-14 normally and size 18 clother didn't fit over the bump and were too big everywhere else. WTF??

My late aunt used to buy me a mug every year. When I was aged between about 7 and 15. Just what every child needs! Then in the years after that she switched to a small pack of chocolate biscuits to 'take to college' with me.

A small pack of choc biscuits??
Wow. Generous.

A will writing kit from DH.

My ExDH gave me a cheap robotic guinea pig apparently because the flat we rented didn't allow pets but he thought I should have a pet. It was terrible, I was 27 and it was probably the worst present I've ever had. I gave it to my friend's 10 year old DS who loved it.

My mum got a small bottle of anchovy essence for Christmas a few years ago from a random guy at her church who rather fancied her. Surprisingly he did not get very far with that!

A loo seat for my 50th birthday last year, from my husband. He also gave me two cars for the Scalextric (which I don't play), a book and a bottle of perfume. I wish he'd just stopped at the book and the perfume.

My first proper boyfriend when I was seventeen, gave me some revolting knickers (aptly described by BlueHat up thread as the obligatory tart's underwear in the wrong size) for Christmas. However he messed up at the gift exchange and ended up opening that parcel on the day, in front of his family.

Tea Towels

For Christmas.

From my mother. [and nasty ones that leave fluff on the glasses]

Can't believe I said thank you, now I come to think of it......

The previous year she bought a duvet - for the bed in the spare room, where she stays, as the one on the bed wasn't warm enough - why didn't she just say so.............ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I had a blow up dog from a friend because she knew I hated dogs ???

Each year from about 5-10yrs old I got a boxed lace hanky ,( my sisters always got something far nicer), I just piled the boxes in a cupboard in my mums house (they're probably still there!)

A gift from my SIL a velvet jewellry box that my sister had given my niece for her birthday earlier in the year!
Another year from same SIL a tiny wooden crate filled with fake straw and 3 pink pigs in, they were either candles or soap or heaven forbid just ornaments. I never found out as they went straight into a charity bag.

When me and my sisters were 10,12 14 yrs a friend gave us all silky lace-edged 'teddies' (underwear things) she had girls the same age as us and it was like WTF?

ExMIL a butter curler. Other sils at the time all got things like melon-baller, etc 'useful' kitchen items that live in the back of drawers FOREVER.

my PIL bought us a toilet brush holder. In the shape of an elephant.
Fortunately "the builders broke it" later that year.

My DH bought me slippers one year for my birthday. Only he didnt wrap them until the Sunday night, after a trip to the pub. SO I got a pair of slippers wrapped in the financial times, which was held together with garden wire. Because he couldnt find the selotape. I have never let him forget this.