to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

[bellabreeze]

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

Yep because positive thinking will feed,house and clothes 9 kids wont it....

Pink why are you being so vitriolic? You do realise the OP is a person with feelings don't you?

I am not being vitriolic towards the op-I have offered her my best wishes and I really mean it. I am merely pointing out that if everyone adopted the attitude that you can have as many kids as you like without a thought as to who will pay for them then we would all be up shit creek.

How many of you have 9 plud dcs btw seeing as you are so ok with it?....

You sound very bitter

Well I don't have any yet.

I'm not saying I would personally have that many children but OP is pregnant. She already has 8 children,that is quite a lot,I'm sure she has finances sorted and just hasn't felt the urge to tell us all about them. Us strangers on an Internet forum. That's fair enough really. She wasn't asking what we thought of her hypothetical benefit claiming either.

I am not bitter-I just live in the rl which someone of you clearly do not...

No you just sound bitter, it is no concern of yours who receives benefits. It's not for you to decide who deserves them and who doesn't.

Where on earth did you get that from Pink?

When did she say she hasn't given a thought to who will pay for them? You are bitter and have twisted the OPs situation to suit your own bitterness.

We are all living in real life and this just happens to be Bellas.

Try not to let the rude comments posted on here about having a large family upset you. I heard such comments when I was pregnant with number 3 and again with number 4,so I can imagine you have heard it all before anyway!!! When you are saying that you are feeling understandably overwhelmed I can't understand why some others would post such judgemental, rude, ignorant and unhelpful comments that will just make you feel worse when in a particularly vulnerable state!!!! Others have posted supportive comments and so just take comfort in those.... Another baby is another blessing You love the eight you have and are coping and you will love number nine and cope Ask for help and support from family and friends if you can as you will need it especially if your partners behaviour is unsupportive at this time..... Good luck x

Wht do you think will happen to all the money saved?
Give it back to the tax payer? No, those higher earners are already loosing cb
Will they give it to those with sn or for services for them, no they are making cuts.
Opportunities for the young? No cuts again
Jobs? Nope
The elderly? don't think so
The NHS? Doubt we will have one left If the government gets it's way

You will be no better off financially, so I don't see why it matters so much to you.

There are a few people on this thread who come across as a really nasty, bitter and spiteful. I worry far more about the kind of children they will raise, than someone who needs some temporary financial assistance from the state.

No-one on this thread knows if the OP will actually claim benefits, what situation has caused her to leave her H,whether he will support her and their children or not and yet everyone has an opinion on her life!

Bella congratulations on your pregnancy, you sound like you are more than capable of raising children who will become adults with a positive effect on society.

I could sort of understand if the government were saying right it's not fair that some people don't work and receive money however many dc they have, so we will cap it and give tax breaks to help those who do work and don't claim so they will have more money for their dc. But they wont

Moomin, even if it were just "I could sort of understand if the government were saying right it's not fair that some people don't work and receive money however many dc they have, so we will cap it", I would agree with it as a principle.

They don't have to plough it back to the deserving working people in order for it to be right as a policy.

Wow some people are so rude and thoughtless.

Regardless of your views on this (all based on assumption so how anyone can take a proper view is beyond me), how can people talk about children in this way, as if they are dirty little objects? And ridicule someone's name choices?

Really low.

As an aside will anyone apologise to the poster who asked if OP was a traveller?

She was hit by a particularly Mumsnetty display of knee jerky hysteria when she was asking a perfectly straightforward question - and went on to explain that wanted to alert OP to specific resource/support for travellers - but was told she was stereotyping and being offensive!

Then lo and behold OP says she is a (non travelling) traveller.

And no I am not making any comment whatsoever about travellers, I am just saying some people need to calm down.

I have a family member who is the absolute stereotype that mumsnetters love to hate.

Single, still in her twenties, pregnant with fifth child by the fourth father (or fifth if family rumour is to be believed), no qualifications, never worked.

But the thing that I always wonder is what exactly is her future? Best case scenario I guess is that she stops having children after this one. So 5 years from now she will be expected to get a job. But who will hire someone in their thirties with no qualifications or experience? So I guess realistically she will find herself on Workfare - maybe for Tescos. Best case - she somehow manages to pull it out the bag long enough to impress them and be offered a job. Which she manages to keep and eventually gets herself promoted to second assistant deputy manager of Bakery and so ends up earning a good pound an hour above minimum wage.

Her children grow up so she stops getting tax credits etc. she eventually retires aged 72 to live the remaining 12 years of her life on a state pension debating between eating and heating each winter.

And the really tragic thing is that this is the best I can realistically imagine for her and suspect that this version of "happy ever after" won't come true.

Her eldest daughter is not much younger now than she was when she had her. I look at her sometimes and pray she keeps with her education (she's a bright girl when she wants to be) and gets to discover just how amazing the world can be.

Non travelling traveller? wtf is that

According to the Op she comes from the background and heritage of a traveller but she herself lives in one permanent place.

Bit like my husband who is a non Welsh speaking Welshman.

Travellers are a recognised ethnic group in the UK...I believe they are a recognised social/ cultural group in Ireland. You don't have to travel to be a traveller because they are an ethnic/social group with their own culture,with traditions beyond just travelling.

She is a traveller but she doesn't travel - it's her culture/ethnicity - she is in one place. She explained it upthread!

And I am a non-practising, atheist Jew!

When I say I'm Jewish but have no religious beliefs some people are like 'eh?' but it's about culture. Most of my friends and family are Jewish, most of us are atheists, it's all about lifestyle/family etc.

What does that have to do with Bella, Katie?

She has 8 (soon to be nine :)) children all to the same father, she was a SAHM and her husband worked. Sadly that relationship, like many has not worked out and she's isn't the first and won't be the last women to find herself pregnant after separating.

Are you just jumping on the bandwagon and perpetuating negative stereotypes of single mothers with multiple kids for the craic, or does your post have an actual point of relevance to this thread?

Sorry if that sounds harsh but I felt your post completely unnecessary.

babooshka

Not a lot but we are 16 pages on!

My point was in agreement to someone a few pages back who basically said "if living on benefits with loads of kids is so great why don't people just do it".

My argument is that even at the extreme end of the benefit debate (and I suspect my family member is just the type of person good old Dave is after) then there is no wide screen tvs and goats - just a mundane future and a miserable old age.

Unfortunately I'm a slow typist on the Ipad and dd is ill so keeps waking up so my post had lost its relevance before it got posted. (As I suspect this one will too.)

Congratulations Bella! You sound happier now, that your pregnancy is confirmed

Wish you all the very best. Do take all the help you can get and research to make sure you get the benefits you are eligible for.

Don't let the judgey people get you down. They are probably the ones who wave flags when the royal scroungers go by and watch strictly come dancing instead of marching on the streets protesting the bank bailouts, BBC fatcats, parasites in quangos and LA who pay themselves fat bonuses for fuck all.

I would so much prefer if my tax money went to people like you, who spend it bringing up children.

You sound like a wonderful mum.

After reading some of the comments I agree with the whole nest of vipers thing.
OP ignore the negative comments and focus on the helpful ones. You will need to focus your energy on having 9 children soon!
Best of luck to you and your family.