to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

[bellabreeze]

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

am assuming that the Op is in Ireland?

from the no of children and the names?

I work for an English council, this may not apply or be different in other places.

No she isn't.

That's quite an assumption to make! That's kind of like saying 'oh your childs name is amir, you must live in Egypt'

I think AJaney is actually just trying to help on this thread. I raised a similar point re benefit caps earlier (although I don't have any clue of the details). It is best that Bella knows that the Tory changes might impact on a large family and therefore she is forewarned and able to investigate it sooner rather than later. As sad as it is, it may influence her decision to stay with her husband. If benefits are harshly capped then it will put a lot of women in very awkward positions. And I'm not encouraging her to stay in an unhappy marriage, rather I would prefer her to make a decision with all th circumstances taken into account. Thanks to Dave, choices for those with unenviable lives are diminishing.

Nope I live in england

Thanks Property, I was just trying to help. Someone who has not used the benefits system before as a lone parent with a larger family could find their entitlement change dramatically after April.

Perhaps we should all just pop out 9 kids then if it so hunky-dory?....

congrats OP - you sound level headed and I'm sure you'll cope great.

Some posters though are so rude! I am a single parent and have 5 children and I know what it's like to be judged so unfairly and feel like I have to justify myself. People are just jealous and let silly things about not being able to afford consumables and dress their children in Boden prevent them from having more children.

People are just jealous and let silly things about not being able to afford consumables and dress their children in Boden prevent them from having more children.

That's also a bit rude though to generalise about why people may only have a small family. It could be very hurtful to someone who was unable to have (more) children, for example. There are many, many, very valid reasons for not having more than one or two children.

I dont have more children because I cant afford them. HA HA boden clothes? mine are dressed in primark or even charity shop!

pink I dont get what you are trying to say?

Yes if you want 9 children, have 9. If you dont, then dont.

Its not actually for any one to decide how many children a person can have.

FFS the OP has very kindly outlined her financial situation including the fact HER DH HAS A JOB
if she needs financial assistance from the state because of a relationship breakdown, its none of your business is it?

Congratulations Bellabreeze, you come across as a fantastic role model for your children

Gosh some people are unbelievably bitter. It's not always as black and white as some of you would like to think.

I wish you all the luck in the world bella, you'll find plenty of support here on MN no matter what your situation turns out to be.

Keep posting and congratulations. :)

Don't say that MrsD I was hoping to hold my nose have dp blow in my mouth and ds5 just pop out!

The op's estranged dh has a job that can afford them 9 dcs? highly doubt that plus the fact that she herself said she doubts he will cough up for them-her words.

No I cant afford 9 dcs because I would have to rely on state handouts and if everyone decided to fuck personal responsibilty then we would all go to hell in a handcart....

Pink, I think that travellers traditionally do have large families and they don't tend to claim benefits (you can't claim unless you have a fixed address). They generally support themselves.

No mrsdevere I had the amount of children I could afford. I would have loved to have had more dcs-lost a fair few.

The op did mention benefits actually-said she wasnt sure want she would be entitled too and someone else pointed out that she may be effected by the changes to the benefit system....

I hold no personal grudge against the op as I dont know her but I think all this oh there,there tripe unhelpful and the suggestion that we should all just procreate at will without a thought to the consequences far removed from the world I live in...

She did actually mention benefits, but that said I agree with you anyway. Who cares whether the OP claims whatever she will be entitled to? Makes no difference to anyone else here.

Well the travellers whom my dh has represented have certainly claimed benefits but lets not get into the in and outs of that as I really know very little of their lifestyle.

Perhaps the op wont need benefits and will reunite with her dh-I really do hope it works out for her...

Well it was your choice then, you choose not to have anymore because you don't want to claim ctc, your choice. However it's none of your buisness what other people decide to do.