to think a lift home when you are coming that way shouldnt cause angst.

[slartybartfast]

i have no car, dh is out at work, dd does an after school event with her bestest friend , if i dont know it is going to happen i can't organise a lift via my dm. this happens regularly, she stays after school without a lift organised.
but her bestfriend does too and gets a lift home and twice gthey have brought dd home but apparentyly they dont like to without it being reciprocated.
i mean - they have been bestfirneds since about 2007, why are the parents so mean.? they are coming this way anyway.

[HullyEastergully]

Well I am clearly a saint. I feel great having read all this. My dd (14) phones me and asks me to give her friend a lift home from a third friend's house because third friend's mother is too mean and they don't even want to ask her.

[HullyEastergully]

poor purple face Jins

[Spatsky]

Hully, why do you think they have thought of saying that? Doing it begrudgingly is not the same as contemplating not doing it at all.

[HullyEastergully]

Because they are horrid.

Imagine you are at the school. There is your dd's best friend since 2007. Outside it is rural and dark. You are driving back that way.

And you think to yourself...

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU A LIFT

Really????

[Spatsky]

Hully was that a response to me? I don't see any evidence that they are thinking that. As fa as I can tell op has not been specific on the other parents negativity about the arrangement. As others have suggested, she might be fine about the actual lift but just getting pissed off their is no acknowledgement from op of the favour.

Anyway, will drop it now as

[Jins]

Actually I don't mind giving lifts to the DSs friends too much except nowadays since they've all started driving lessons I get lectured on how I indicate too early

It's specifically other adults I hate giving lifts to because you have to talk to them and they brake for you

[HullyEastergully]

Longevity confers expectation and obligation.

[Spatsky]

Jins I had one that would do "you're good to go" at every sodding junction, like I was blind or something. Grrr

[Jins]

They bloody look for you as well Spatsky. Craning their head to check vehicles from the left so you can't see.

I stuck the handbrake on and sat back once. Told them I wasn't moving until I had control of decision making in my vehicle (although that was to DH) :)

[poozlepants]

Those people are meanies. My dad took scouts and did all sorts of youth work and he and the other leader used to give the kids lifts home in the bad weather even if it meant multiple trips and me and my sister were usually left sitting in the hall to be collected at the end. A lot of the parents never said thanks but he said it didn't bother him as he wasn't doing it for them he was doing it because it wasn't right the kids had to go home in the dark and wet.
You shouldn't be doing a good deed because you want one done in return or praised to the heavens for it. Anyway a couple of runs home isn't exactly burdensome.

[Lookingatclouds]

I gave a lift home to one of dd's friends last week when her mum wasn't there to pick her up as she was poorly. She'd told her dd to walk home, but I gave her a lift. Within 2 minutes of getting home I'd had a text from her mum saying thank you. I wonder if the problem isn't that they have done it, more that there was no thank you. For me, regardless of whether things are reciprocated or not it's important to say thank you.

[OwlLady]

I agree with seeker.

I would just drop children off, it doesn't bother me at all. But then I tend to do things with a will in my heart and plenty of people don't seem to anymore and that's a great shame

[prettybird]

At 15/16, I'd be expecting the "thank you" from the child to be sufficient.

Unless of course she didn't say thank you, in which case the parents are quite right to be peeved.

[LessMissAbs]

Have you contacted the other child's parents OP, and asked them specifically if they can do this and offered them petrol money?

If not, YANBU.

[LessMissAbs]

YABU actually.

[HullyEastergully]

poozle - you are a Good Egg

and you Owl

[valiumredhead]

less no the OP hasn't because it has happened TWICE and TWICE the OP said get the bus and the dd was brought home anyway. Plus these are 16 year olds - why would you ring parents you speak to the teen.

[OwlLady]

why do people want something all the time now?

why is it not okay for say me, Mrs O Lady to want to drop Johnny off because his Mother cannot drive and it's dark and it would make me feel better to know he was home safe as I would appreciate that if shoe were on other foot and I was Johnny's Mother. Why is that so difficult to accept as a normal human response to something? Why do people expect something in return? why is being kind and considerate and having the satisfaction of that not enough anymore?

[HullyEastergully]

[HullyEastergully]

Absolutely Owl, why would you think anything beyond being pleased to help someone out at NO INCONVENIENCE TO YOURSELF???

Weird.