to think a lift home when you are coming that way shouldnt cause angst.

[slartybartfast]

i have no car, dh is out at work, dd does an after school event with her bestest friend , if i dont know it is going to happen i can't organise a lift via my dm. this happens regularly, she stays after school without a lift organised.
but her bestfriend does too and gets a lift home and twice gthey have brought dd home but apparentyly they dont like to without it being reciprocated.

i mean - they have been bestfirneds since about 2007, why are the parents so mean.? they are coming this way anyway.

OP - why are you scared of the parents? That might well be the key to explaining this whole thing.

And, yes, Hully and MaryZ are right - you have to talk to them to get to the bottom of this. After all, maybe they don't begrudge your DD a lift, in which case problem solved.

Oh no, the parents are like me and just love to moan. You did them a service by providing the cause, OP.

Maybe I should offer more lifts and use it as a source of moaning KatieScarlett. It's not something I've moaned about so far but I can see the potential.

You really should Jins

DH and I have a routine. It's almost competitive re the lift giving.

DH comes home from work;

"You'll never believe the day I've had, I've just spent 63 minutes in the car dropping off DD's friends. All of their parents have cars, why is it always meeeeeeeeee????"

"Welcome to my world KatieScarlett, At football on Sunday I had to collect 3 of the team before I could even set off, and drive 4 home!!! How DO these people expect their sons to participate in team sports if I weren't there? Hmm, Hmm????? AND one of their fathers was made redundant last week so it's not like he's to busy, (HUMPF)"

"I know, have any of their parents actually seen them play this season? I bet not. And while you were out on Sunday I had to take DD friend to A&E as her mum was out at work. What if I hadn't been there? She could have DIIIIEEED!!!! Well, not really died, but you get my point"

"I know what you mean, still at least our DC will never have to worry about having to walk anywhere home alone (SMUG)"

"Yes dear, they are soooo lucky to have such supportive parents (SMUGGER)"

Conclusion

DH and I agree between us how wonderful and selfless we are. And how we are much better parents than yeeeeooowh"

I just mutter at my children occasionally Katie.

Along the lines of "you wouldn't notice if I disappeared off the fact of the earth as long as I organised a Tesco deliver and a fucking 24 hour taxi "

Mary - you forgot to leave your cash card and PIN number for them

And your Amazon password.......

YANBU Another one here that doesn't mind giving lifts at all if I'm going that way or even if it means going out of my way to drop the DC's friends off. In fact when I go to collect one of my DCs and I see them coming towards me with friends in tow I automatically start sorting out the car so I can get them all in. I wouldn't ever expect parents to get involved once children get to about year 8. A thank you from the kids when I drop them off is enough.

My DD (12) has a friend whose parents have been a bit funny about lifts. I'm happy for my older DDs to walk or get the bus or train but these parents want to ferry their kids around like they're 5 years old. They won't even let my DD walk home from their house because it's 'too far' so they just have to bring her home. It's a mile for FFS. It's just like the walk to school. The parents made some comments to their DD and my DD a few weeks ago. I'm not going to phone and thank them because I'd rather my DD got the exercise by walking and that she becomes independent by using public transport.

Oh, yes, stupid me.

And get someone to come in and do the ironing. The washing/housework/washing up etc gets done automatically by the house fairy, apparently.

I wouldnt worry about such third hand information

If you live somewhere rural though I dont think you can wing it with lifts etc for your DD to get home although 16 is quite old I suppose

I live in the town and still seem to ferry various DC around , what goes around etc.

These parents are being branded all manner of stuff on this forum over some dodgy teenage third hand information. Slarty obviously has some beef with them, result - she's managed to get a bunch of strangers on side to slag off these folk who kindly dropped off her daughter several times on some tenuous info. Sheep - bahhhhh!

YANBU

I have no problem with giving lifts if I'm going in the same direction. I'll even help friends out with lifts if I'm going the other way.

DD1's friend's mum doesn't drive, it's always me doing the Scout run, the swimming lesson run. Sometimes she buys me a bottle of wine, sometimes she invites my DD round for tea, it's nice of her, but it isn't necessary, I'm happy tI do it.

I'd feel quite selfish to leave someone to walk home on their own when I'm driving past their house

If I was going that way it really wouldn't bother me to take another one at all. Not in the slightest. If it was inconvenient because we were going elsewhere I would say so but rest of time - hey, I'm there, why not? I don't need it reciprocating. Besides imo, esp with good friends, the other parents will do other stuff for my child too anyway - not necessarily the same thing, but maybe something else.

I give folk lifts all the time going out my way - I don't mind and we can afford it. But, with the price of petrol and folk having to make cuts left, right and centre then it can be expensive business being the taxi and all those little extra miles and journeys are putting pressure on a lot of folks pockets, something those who aren't driving aren't having to deal with if someone else is saving them the journey. If someone is kind enough to save you the bother and the money then don't slag them off or think of them uncharitably.

Bahh yourself Begonia (is that possible???)