To think this is so odd??!

[curiousgeorgie]

My PIL have mentioned several times over te past 8 weeks since their 2nd grandchild was born that they would love to have a canvas of the two children (my DD and new DN) to put on the wall.

With christmas coming thought this would be a great gift so sent a message to BIL and his fiancée to ask if we could get the kids together to do this for them. DH has a brilliant camera and is quite into photography so wouldn't cost them anything and wouldn't take long.

BIL sent a message straight back saying great idea, they'll love that, lets set it up.

3 hours later and she sends me a message saying 'Im going to have to say no to the picture'.

Weird???! Please tell me this is completely off because I'm not really sure what on earth I'm supposed to respond to that!

I think next year when they are one and three it'll look much better.

TittyTittyHangHang do you know how inappropriate it would be to photoshop the baby in? Total lack of respect..

No is not a complete sentence its one bloody word and leads to confusion.

It wouldn't be for me, to be honest. I feel a bit sorry for SIL

Is it because she wants more children and would rather wait till they can all go on the picture??

Sounds awful to me as well tbh.

I don´t see why SIL should do it just because it´s what ILs want, either.

Maybe she´s pissed off if they´ve been talking about it more or less since she gave birth.

Anyway, there´s nothing to stop ILs taking their own pic & doing it, is there?

Possibly barney with BIL ?

Just being contrary to spite him ?

Whatever her reasons for saying no I think her manners as demonstrated by her texts are sorely lacking.

By all means she can refuse but would it have hurt her to have employed some politeness when doing so.

The 'oddness' is the lack of explanation to her SIL.

Let's hope she comes on and starts a thread saying that her sil is asking her to do think and she doesn't want to because xyz - andthen we will know why!

Does she like your DH? Could she be uncomfortable about a man she's not close to photographing her PFB?

TheAccidentalExhibitionist clearly didn't read the thread.

It isn't about what I like. It's about PIL asking for something from both of us

MrsCantSayAnything - she likes DH. We all go out all the time, he's godfather to DN and is going to be best man at the wedding.

Did you ask her why?

This is really odd... not other word for it... Unless she thinks she has to contribute cost of canvas and doesn't have the funds?

Hmm if my SIL asked me to do this I don't know if I would say yes. She is a nag, a well meaning one, but a nag. She would go on and on and on... Arranging anything with her drives me scatty, she just won't take no for an answer and acts like a steamroller.

I'm not saying you are like that as you clearly get on and I want to throttle sometimes get irritated with SIL, but it could be a family dynamic somewhere that is causing the problem?

Maybe she has already ordered a canvas from one of the photos she has taken of the two children and it is a surprise Christmas present for you too.

She's not happy about it for whatever reason.

Respect her decision and move on.

Maybe she's just hormonal and tired. Could be annoyed with her partner for agreeing without asking her? Pissed off with PIL since birth of her baby? I don't think I'd like it either TBH. Tacky.

I'm sure once she locates her manners she'll tell you why she isn't into the idea.

Hmmm. When my first baby was 8 weeks old he did nothing but scream (and I mean hair standing up on the back of his neck scream, arch his back, choke and feed all the time. I did not want to go anywhere where there were people I didn't know well as for some insane reason I thought everyone thought this was because I was a bad mum.

Clearly he had reflux and other health problems, but I could literally only cope with my own family or complete strangers, not judgy ILs or acquaintances.

It is her PFB, give her a break, she's probably feeding 24-7 and losing her marbles.

CuriousGeorge I did read the thread,
I wouldn't want my DS to be on a canvas photo for whomever it was for. It's not a present I would want to give and it sounds like it's not a present she wants to give - for whatever reason.

It is about what you like though isn't it? You'd like to give the present wouldn't you? If you hated the idea, would you still do it?

Actually, I probably would. Because DH's parents are almost 70, are lovely people and its not much to ask.

I personally loathe newborn babies in football kits... But PIL love Chelsea and wanted my PFB aged 2 weeks to wear one while they all watched football one afternoon - and I did it. Because sometimes its about making other people happy.

Eww...

And my DD is 2 and I don't have a single canvas of her in my house btw....

Aesthetic differences aside I don't think it's unreasonable of the GPs to think this is a reasonable request.

The child wouldn't be demeaned by appearing on an oh so tacky canvas on their grandparents wall.

What if they made their own canvas from a pre existing photo? Would you request they remove it from their wall??