To think this is so odd??!

[curiousgeorgie]

My PIL have mentioned several times over te past 8 weeks since their 2nd grandchild was born that they would love to have a canvas of the two children (my DD and new DN) to put on the wall.

With christmas coming thought this would be a great gift so sent a message to BIL and his fiancée to ask if we could get the kids together to do this for them. DH has a brilliant camera and is quite into photography so wouldn't cost them anything and wouldn't take long.

BIL sent a message straight back saying great idea, they'll love that, lets set it up.

3 hours later and she sends me a message saying 'Im going to have to say no to the picture'.

Weird???! Please tell me this is completely off because I'm not really sure what on earth I'm supposed to respond to that!

You absolutely should leave it it's her choice.

However...

...It's bugging the crap out of me now her reasoning so drop it until you physically see her again, blather on about booking your DC in, then ask

"I don't want to pry but are you a member of the Taliban? S'ok if you are i just wanted to know so I can skip the Christmas gifts"

She will hopefully be so anxious to prove she's not she'll fess the real reason and you can tell us. :)

X post Jessie great minds and all that

Does she realise it would be free? Could it be because she's know maternity leave & worried about money? Or worried she couldn't do.the same for her parents?

How old is your DD OP?

I'm wracking my brains over this!

Remembering when my eldest DD was very small - I can imagine i might have been the same about it actually.

Reasons - I might have felt my 8 week old baby would looked a bit of a blob in a big photo lying next to an older child. Plus the niece and nephew weres spoilt brats and i couldn't bare them! So wouldn't have relished the thought of having my baby laying in their arms for a photo.

Not suggesting for one moment your child is a spoilt brat OP, i promise Just saying how it would have been for me back then.

Does she get on well with pil? Could that be the reason? It Is very odd.

My DD just turned 2... And is really small for her age as well.

Yeah, gets on great with PIL, maybe better than me

8 weeks old? Baby won't go without feeds for long enough? She doesn't want to take the baby in the car somewhere? She doesn't want anyone over, because the house is a tip?

She thinks her baby isn't that cute looking at the moment, and wants to wait until the baby possesses (more) hair? She doesn't want a picture of her nine-week-old hanging up on PILs' wall to humilate her child upon the 18th birthday?

I bet it's to do with control of her child's image and what the studio will do with it, how it might be unleashed on the Internet for who knows what to photoshop in who knows what way. Coz these things happen all the time, you know.

Well if she doesn't want to then there isn't much you can do about it. But you could say something like, oh I thought it would be a nice idea' and let her tell you why she doesn't like it. I'd just go ahead with the canvas of your own DC.

I don't think it is weird. Maybe she just doesn't like them. End of. Don't hassle the poor woman, she said she would rather not so leave it at that.

TBJ

All reasons I could imagine. It was a headache trying to get a passport photo of DS2 at this age. He was either asleep or crying.

Whatever, she's not being deliberately hurtful, she may be being a bit irrational, who knows. She's got a right to say no without being hassled.

I would be annoyed by this, not your asking but the fact that the PIL have requested it. Not extremely annoyed, but just annoyed enough not to want to do it.

It just seems like they are treating the kids as lifestyle accessories and not really considering what anyone else wants. Can't they wait for a nice photo of each child and see what they get? Isn't 8 weeks a little bit young to be arranging sittings and poses?

I understand this may make me a 'Baby Scrooge' and many people do not feel like I do. I'm not criticizing them. But this is how I feel.

Practically as soon as my children were born my PILs were pointing their phones at them and videoing them. The whole thing makes me feel like, rather than try to interact with the child as a person, they are trying to create something they can use to show off to their friends how 'cute' their progeny are.

softly

Think that it is odd but its SILs choice. For the sake of my nosiness, find out why from your brother & update.

And absolutely get the stamps with your dd on them.

Heaven forbid grandparents might want to show off their grandchildren

YANBU OP.

I think I nearly exploded with projected-stress at a photographer, who had approached me in the town centre, and started the hard sell for their studio, when mine were young. I've never fobbed off someone so fast!

I'm not criticising the grandparents. To many the "big canvas" is a fine idea. Just not for all. I doubt very much she won't be supplying any photos at all.

Giant photo canvases are hugely tacky in my opinion but if it's what the grandparents want I think she is being massively precious in her refusal.

The tone of her texts are very rude too.

Just to add, it's not a studio photo. It would just be us taking pictures of them at home. (DH)

Well, when babies are very new, they're quite ugly. Maybe she doesn't want to immortalise her PFB looking like cat's arse. I took50 quite a few pics at the hospital before I manage to take one that wasn't too embarrassing. It took 6 months to get better.

I bet she doesn't want to share the limelight Just wants it to be her baby.

She'll cringe about it in a few years

Is it possible that your sil thinks your dd may be rough with her baby while they are posing for the photo? Has your dd held the baby yet?

Yes, she's held the baby on her lap a few times and SIL has taken pics!

How odd?? But also such a pity!!

Does SIL get on with PIL? I don't get on with mine because of things that happened when my DS was born and their actions towards me when he was younger and so if I was asked I would say no.