To be peed off at parents who drop their children's off at birthday parties...

[AnnaLiza]

....instead of offering to help out!
It's not only about the child being able to cope without the parent. I do expect 11 year olds to be ok without the parents but how can it not occur to mums and dads that I may struggle to feed and look after a bunch of 15 kids when they sit down for food and cake?
I find it very rude that the parents just shoot off without even asking if I might need help. AIBU?

oh do keep up,you see threads digress.people can cope with parallel conversations
so you see lots of digression on any thread
it happens online as it does in rl,things are fluid.topics evilve

I can't believe drop and run is now age 5!!! When my big ones were small it was from playgroup age so 3+. I'd rather gnaw my arm off than have a bunch of strange Mummies at my kids parties.
If this is how it is now then little zeeboo will not have parties with strangers ynt

it doessiund like op had ghastly time
I can see why she cross
next time best be clear advance, that want some help

I rarely drop & go and dd is just 11 but that's only because I live at the totally opposite end of the city to mist of her school friends so I ask if it ok to stay as I can't get home & back in time.

Am aghast at the minicab mum.

On the phone number front most places where I have booked parties over the years have insisted on me having a contact number for the parent of all the invitees (sports centres, go-karting, paint balling, stables, etc). Doesn't everyone have a class list with phone numbers and addresses? I wouldn't want to be in loco parentis for a child if I didn't know exactly who he was, where he lived and have contact details for one parent.

We definitely don't have a class list. I do leave an emergency contact number if u leave ds somewhere (not necessarily my mobile might be work, landline or dh number) but I don't with dd as she has her own mobile now.

no we dont have a class list of phone numbers and addresses - our school isnt even allowed to give out a list of the childrens names (even just the first names) in my lo's classes at school.

DS is in P2 and has been left at a couple of parties by himself. He had his 6th party in the sports centre and a lot of the children were just dropped off and then picked up at the end. DH is normally there and as my sisters kids get invited she is there to help out too.

DD had her 9th party today (at bowling) and there were 8 children there - none of the mum's stayed with us so me and dh looked after them all. They were old enough to sort themselves out at the toilet and although they wandered off around the amusements we knew they wouldnt try to leave without letting us know.

YABU,In fact you have annoyed me. Get your own help.

I have done dump and run since reception, all the nursery parties happened at nursery which was a nice get out of the parents :o

It comes down to the fact that if you cant cope with 15 11 year old (or 3 years old, the age is immaterial), then you dont invite them! You invite precisely the number for feel able to deal with and no more.

What you dont do is invite half the class and then moan when no one is psychic and offers to help with them. Do you hang around at all the parties your kids go to? If you do then a word to the wise......the parents probably think your weird, PFB and OTT protective and wish you would bugger off!

I am still failing to understand why 11 year olds were not capable of helping themselves to food

Most 5 year olds could do that, never mind at 11!

Having said that, their behaviour was appalling and I would be mentioning it to their parents if you see them. I would be disgusted if any of mine behaved like that and I would be making sure that you had got an apology from them if they had.

I dont think you issue was lack of help, but the boys attitudes. Seems to me that this year is the year to stop parties.

Re the class list, we dont have that as they never get all of the permission forms in so they cant do it for data protection. Also, there are a couple of foster families with sensitive placements so I would imagine that they wouldnt want their details on such a list.

It is generally accepted that you RSVP by text so that the inviters parent has your number.

Never had a list of ds' classmates - not even their names.

At parties, you might leave an emergency contact number - but that would be it. Not even sure I always asked for/gave one.

yes, I'm a baaaaaad mother

Ds' friends are now 12 so they tend to have their own mobiles plus know their home phone numbers plus I do the rugby club registration so know everyone's details anyway.

Definitely being unreasonable.

if you need help, you organise it. Do you really expect them to give up time at the weekend, organising cover for their own kids, to help you?

Get real.

I am taking 20 out for pizza and then to the cinema on Friday night. If i need help I will be asking DH or friends, not parents.

You need to have the correct help organised. You don't expect to stay with your DC after the age of about 4 yrs.

righty ho,I was being tongue in cheek no I'd not put unaccompanied 5yo in cab. so wind yer teeth in ladies,put down the childlike number
frankly it was in response to the well what's if I were 3hrs away,sitting in Taylor ferguson
what I am clear on is yes I do know all contact details,and no one drop &goes

Have a small party of a manageable number.

mummy Sheesh! Have you won the lottery?! 20 to the pictures? We were going to take us and 4 of the kids to see Madagascar last week and it would have cost £50 in tickets and parking alone, never mind drinks etc

Scottish Dump and run is the reason for parties! You pay by putting yourself through your own kids parties a couple of times a year when the other parents naff off to Costa for a couple of hours!

and if you are really sneaky like me then you do the double-dump-and-run where you imply to your DH/OH/SO/DM that you have to stay to help, so they look after the other kids, and you imply to the party childs parent that you have to get back to your other kids. Then you bugger off a coffee shop, calling in at Waterstones on the way for a nice new book!

2 child free hours is not to be sniffed at!

That's fair enough Scottish if people know in advance & have the choice if not attending if dump & run is not poss

OP - for future reference arrange for parents that you know to stay if you will need help.

It does seem that there is a huge variation in party etiquette from school to school and area to area.

We do not have a list of names, addresses and contact numbers for children in our ds's classes. I am not sure that I would want to give that information to people who I do not know.

FWIW, I have only left ds's (7 and 4) at parties held in their friends houses, never at soft play, leisure centres etc. Even then I have always made sure that the host parents had my number. The same has been reciprocated by their friends parents. If parents have left their children at parties outside of our home , parents have always checked if we're happy with that and left contact numbers.

I like your style Bogey!

:o Iwish

After 6 kids, there arent many tricks I dont know, happy to share!