To be peed off at parents who drop their children's off at birthday parties...

[AnnaLiza]

....instead of offering to help out!
It's not only about the child being able to cope without the parent. I do expect 11 year olds to be ok without the parents but how can it not occur to mums and dads that I may struggle to feed and look after a bunch of 15 kids when they sit down for food and cake?
I find it very rude that the parents just shoot off without even asking if I might need help. AIBU?

YABU. Its you doing the party.. and upto you to sort it out.

YABVU if you can't look after 15 children or organise the help you need then don't invite them. You expect parents of 11 year olds to stay at a party?

No you don't pay them.

Is the party going on right this minute?

OP you sound like very hard work.
Maybe if you weren't your friends would offer...

Ask a couple of parents of the invited children, who you know reasonably well, if they could lend a hand. In advance.

YABVU. If you need help, you ask your own friends or family or check in advance if some of the other Mums/Dads can stay.

I did used to get cross if Mums dropped children off for parties without checking if I had their contact numbers (but only when they were very little - up to say 6 ) but have never expected non-friends to stay and help!!!

You need help with 11 year olds??????

How many are we talking about?

Ask around when your planning the party? Don't have a party for 15 kids and have a cinema and pizza trip for 3 or 4 instead?

Surely it's a basic life skill to know what you're capable of handling. If someone let you down that's different, but you organised it you surely can't have thought someone would drop their child off and suddenly drop any other commitments to help you serve cake?

I used to loathe and detest univited mothers hanging around. They were usually the really annoying ones anyway. The ones I wanted to stay, I'd ask. Not difficult.

Thought you were going to be talking about preschoolers or reception children perhaps?

But 11 year olds - I would;t ever expect parents to stay!

If you need help you need to arrange it before the party - other family memebrs, a good friend, maybe.

But yabu I am afraid.

15 Mrs R.

I hope it isn't a sleepover.

You ask family.

You ask friends.

You ask one or two of the parents who you know a bit better.

You could pay someone, an older teen perhaps.

You hold the party at a venue where the organisation is done for you.

You don't ask more kids than you can cope with. You take a couple of friends for cinema and bowling.

The point is YOU sort it out

I'm just grateful if the parents take their children away at the end...

YABU and sound slightly odd!

When you organise the party ask another parent to help!! But at eleven years old they can help as well and are old enough to sit and wait and help serve food. Seriously its not that hard!

Lots of disposable plates and cutlery and buffet style food. If you got as far as preparing the food for 15 11 year olds then serving it is doddle. I would fully expect parents of children to skip off to hairdresser's, shops, coffee etc.

YABU. Don't invite 15 kids if you can't cope. If you need help, ask for it in advance by asking members of your family or a couple of the mums that you're friendly with.

What have you done for previous parties OP? Parents stopped staying with the children when they were 6/7 down my neck of the woods.

This can't be the first time this has happened.

15

We need to know what you are doing with them.

I'm also one of the ones who makes off after the drop off really fast, unless specifically asked to stay. It's quite bad form to engage the host with chit chat on the grounds that she needs to get on.

Sorry OP, I am with others. You need to ask for help in advance. Just did a big party for DD (11) and some of her mates were simply foul brats. DH & I just had to laugh about it afterwards.

YY Mrsr I am intrigued. Male or female children?

YABVU!

The norm/expectation is that once children are 5 or so, parents don't stay.

If you can't cope with throwing a party, don't do it! It isn't compulsory. Either ask friends to help, or plan a party that you can cope with.