Age Gap Relationships

[littlemissbehave]

I'm in an age gap relationship and things like this really annoy me

www.baby.co.uk/mum_stories/celebrity-age-gap-parents/

Am i over reacting? Any other age gappers out there?

B1ueberryFields

Actually no I wouldn't 'get it' .

If my ds came home with a 100 year old woman or a woman his own age (or man for that matter) - if he was happy and they had a good relationship, then nothing else in the world matters.

If he bought home a bitch of a girl his own age or older and there was always one issue or another then yes I would have a problem.

Myself and my dh have a very equal relationship, there is/was no automatic power dynamic. We work together to make it work because we both want too.

Not one did I call you a bastard, all I said was that you were being judgy....which you are .

BonkeyMollocks, don't get too defensive. And two hmm faces might be overdoing it !! Somebody called me a bastard didn't say it was you. I can't be arsed to scroll back and see who it was. Look, If you're happy that's grand. But you're defending it a bit too much, so you care what people think. I'm not judgeing, I'm thinking. I have an opinion. My opinion is not wrong. It's just different from yours. It's not something I would want for either of my children. I'd want them to have something more normal, less problematic, more equal.........

I think a lot of people would have a built in hesitancy to 20 year age gaps. I'm not alone there. And you must know that. So if you waste energy justifying your relationship everytime somebody expresses that hesitancy to general age gaps (not your relationship specifically) then your protestations will sound a little hollow.

Too defensive?

I don't personally think I'm being defensive, I am explaining how the age gap does not effect us and how I don't give a flying fuck what or who my ds brings home as long as he is happy.

And what the hell is normal, less problematic, equal?? There is no such thing!

And i will all I like.

I don't care what you do. I am just saying I would want something healthier and more equal for my own children.

Age has no reflection on how someone is going to be treated in a relationship. The arseholes I've been with have all been the same age as me. The happiest relationships have been those with older guys. Some people are utter tits. They will be tits at 21 and 81. Some people will equally be lovely at those ages. It really doesn't matter.

Totally agree with BonkeyMollocks.

Healthier and more equal does not mean be with someone your own age.

Hmm.

Both my parents remarried people 16 years their junior and have been , as far as I can see, content and happy . The things that make them happy arent related to age but more to what they have in common etc. I will say now my parents are hitting their 70s this age difference is far more pronounced and from where I am standing their spouses have the sticky end of the stick.

B1luebrryFields - I hope your dd doesn't come home with a boyfriend much older than her but only so she doesn't have to deal with your judging.

When I was 19 my boyfriend was 35. I liked having an older man as I wanted looking after tbh since I had no parents. His mates were a bit "jammy sod" but I don't know why. I was only younger and certainly not gorgeous.

My husband is younger than me but I don't think of it as he is much more sensible and grown up than me. It is only 2 months and a week between us though .

my ExH was 12 years younger than me - I was dumped at 56 for being too old and he didn't want to be my carer if I got ill - that was after 23 years of marriage - there was of course someone 25 years my junior in the background.

Mind you my DP is 7 years younger than me!

rubycon - you can't compare yourself now with your ex's reason for leaving you.

justfabulous, you're judging me ........ stop it you judgeypants. smoke and mirrors smoke and mirrors...

now, in all seriousness, i really don't think my daughter will come home with somebody twenty years older than her. She's beautiful, clever, confident.... I don't see why she would settle for somebody as old as her father. Who knows, but I can't see it!

Ah, so I must be ugly, thick and insecure because I have a older dh??

Wow, just wow!

God help your poor dd if she ever does!

and defensive, you forgot defensive!

my daughter will be fine. no need for you to worry about her.

I am not judging you . I am passing comment on your posts.

Settle?

OMG you really are up your own arse.

Same here, I'm just commenting on the posts.

I give Catherine ZEEEETA Jones and Michael Douglas 18 months. They'll be the next hollywood couple to split, cos she'll be hoping to have sex again :p :p

Immature poster strikes again.

I should have known , one of those.

Oh if only I hadn't been so ugly, dim and pathetic that I could only get an older man, I really should have tried harder to have a 'healthy' relationship.
Nearly 20 years of happy marriage clearly counts for nothing as my husband is older than me! If only I could be like my obviously more intelligent, skinny, confident friends who managed to get men their own ages. Oh wait, but they are all either on their second marriages, unhappily single having been abandoned with children, in the process of divorce or have recently been round my house crying because they've found out their husband is having an affair. Let's not forget my lovely cousin who was murdered by her 'Mr Perfect'. I think I can count one friend who has a happy marriage that I believe will last the distance. My sister's will too if her 'same age' husband survives long enough, being so unhealthy he's a prime candidate for a heart attack, despite being 15 years younger than my dh.
If that sounds smug it isn't meant to. I just feel I'm very lucky to have found the right person, not that I've settled for second best because I wasn't 'beautiful' or 'clever' enough, thanks all the same.

Hurray for Pixel .

Voice of wisdom.

Well put Pixel.

"now, in all seriousness, i really don't think my daughter will come home with somebody twenty years older than her. She's beautiful, clever, confident.... I don't see why she would settle for somebody as old as her father. Who knows, but I can't see it!"

Wow, you're a bit of a tit, aren't you? Yes those of us in relationships with age gaps must be ugly, stupid and lacking in self esteem.

I hope your daughter turns up with a 50-something on her 21st birthday.

15 year gap, here. He's older.

He's bald, a bit tubby and absolutely lush.

God I could eat him.

STBXH, oth...3 yrs older and a tit.

It's numbers. Meh.

Hear hear Pixel.
19 years between me and DP. He's a year younger than my mum. Took me 3 months to convince him we were doing the right thing, and we've never looked back.

Our first child was due yesterday and the little git hasn't come out yet! :)

My parents didn't judge, and everyone was happy for us. The way I looked at it, if friends had a problem with it then they weren't worth knowing. If they can't be happy that you are happy, then that is not a healthy friendship.

I think my parents would be more worried if I was off shagging a different bloke my age every night! and older men are much better in bed

It seems that most of you have a man who is older. I do think that society accepts that situation easier than it does the woman being older.
When I have done online dating, most of the men who contact me are 5-10 years older than me.
They seem to want younger women, although I have never even snogged a man who is older than I am now. In fact, never snogged a man who is less than 3 years younger than I am now! I get older, my boyfriends seem to stay the same age!
OMG I am Rod Stewart!

Not sure it's just society 'accepting' older men with younger women. I think it's also because a lot of young men nowadays seem so immature.