Granny took toddler to the cemetery

[MrsMoosickle]

Eeek! I might perhaps be a tad unreasonable but I'm not best pleased.

3 year old DD has been at the local cemetery with Granny and has come home with tales of little babies in heaven and teddies on trees and wind chimes they can hear from heaven.

DH thinks that's ok, I feel a bit sad that she's even thought about it at such a tiny age.

Again so very very sorry to all who were brave enough to share their losses.

No words enough. Xxxxxx

Unfortunately death is a part of life and it's incredibly sad that some of you have lost children. I could not imagine for one second how hard that must be.

Death is hidden in our culture, it's not discussed, unless it absolutely has to be. It's the way things are, and the OP's concerns come as a result of being brought up in the UK in the 20th century. She is not being insensitive, she's expressing normal fears that many many others have, and a natural urge to protect her DD from something that we all fear.

Personally I don't have a problem with taking children to the cemetery and talking about what it is, but I do understand that some people might.

Just read the first post only.
Absolutely not! No way would i be ok with my mil or own mum taking my 3 yr old daughter to a cemetery without asking me. I am horrified for you. How jnappropriate? That's not her place, the child is too young and why oh why? Just no!

I'm not offended by the OP. I'm just protective over dd's 'garden' as her sisters are calling it, and I would be sad if someone didn't want their own child to see it in case it upset them. I can't really explain what I mean properly...

Maybe it would be better if you read the other posts too mrsmplus3

Mrs moon, I can' only speak for my dd but I know she is very upset about the thought of death as an ending.

We arnt religious at all but she had taken to watching psychic Sally and now days that although she knows her teacher is dead he is 'in spirit' and she has spoken to him.

I know it sounds worrying but it seems to help her.

Op fwiw I think the thread is thought provoking not withstanding the pure pain it has evoked on here.( which you could not have predicted)

Maybe you should read the whole thread then mrsmplus.

Oh ffs. Why is that then MrsM?

Oh, I cross posted with mrsm who has just illustrated my point perfectly. Horrified of a graveyard? How sad.

Cupoftea, everyone can see what you mean, you explained it very well.

Cupofteaplease....... I know exactly what you mean, you explained it beautifully

Unfortunately mrsm, for some small children it is appropriate as that is the resting place for a beloved sibling or parent.

I wish I could go back to that time where I naively thought my children would never have to find out about such huge loss at such a young age.

Cup, you explained it beautiful

I've read a few now squeaky and although I want to curl up in a ball and wish i hadn't got involved, if my post is read only in response to the op then I think my post is fair enough and justified.
However, I see the thread has taken a complrtely different turn and I don't want involved in something so serious and sad at this time of night. All the best to all.

Mine all go to put flowers on the grave of their brother.

Tbh I find its the adults who have a harder time with it than the children. Its the adults who are usually uncomfortable and don't want to think about the loss of a child, ds2 was 8 at the time and although he asked questions he was very accepting of what happened. I think probably because it happened during pg so he didn't meet him it didn't affect him in the same way as it probably would if he'd died after birth, if that makes sense.

I think most children are probably the same if they arnt directly involved and don't know the person who has died. Your dd doesn't sound traumatised by it.

How disrespectful to be scared or horrified by a graveyard

As my dcs get older they'll understand how much love and emotion there is, comfort and sadness. No one wants their dcs to have to be exposed to the death of a loved one, but chances are they will experience it, and isn't it a good thing to have them comfortable and prepared for it?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's not as if you ranting and raving at your mother-in-law - but you're not pleased about what she's done and I'd be the same.

My kids understood about death at that age, but I didn't bang on about little babies and children dying. That's going a bit too far imo.

Cup I think its lovely they call it her garden. x

No, not horrified at being in a graveyard. Horrified that my mil or mum would take my 3 yr old dd for the first time and without my permission instead of to a park of cafe while I'm at work. To introduce the topic of death to her? No, that's me and her dads place. Grannies are amazing and invaluable but certain things should be left to the parents.

Thanks for that, mrsm.

I guess it is the place for my 4-year-old son then, who was 3 when his 9-year-old sister died.

How horrifying, huh? That people, including children, die.

She probably noticed the children's graves, they tend to have things on them that small children like, we have windmills and teddys, ds3 19 months would love to take them home with him.

Bang on about little babies dying, that's a lovely way of putting it btw

Exactly, MrsM.

It's nice that granny took the child out

Yeah, you were horrified, considered it inappropriate and the child was too young.

No, no...missing my point, again.
Nevermind, I'm not going to explain myself again. Just re read my posts or just leave it be. So sorry for your loss though. My worst nightmare.