to think the new ASDA advert is the biggest pile of sexist crap in a long time

[MaureenLove]

to think its trying to APPEAL to women? dur!

I just typed a long reply and it got lost, grr!

But basically the gist was, those posters who think there's nothing wrong with this ad, would you go to someone elses house for Christmas lunch, male or female, and watch them do all the preparation, cooking, table setting, serving and then think it was okay that they didn't have a proper chair to sit on when it came to eating?

Would you be oh so relaxed about letting this same person then do the clearing and washing up, then the moment they finished and sat down to join the group again would you ask them "What's for tea?"

If you would do above and think that's okay, well I personally think you are an ill mannered and inconsiderate guest.

But I suspect most people wouldn't because it is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL behaviour.

So why is it okay to treat 'Mums' in this way?

Is this really what you want your sons and daughters to see as a role model for a modern relationship? Martyred harrassed women and oblivious ignorant men?

Gee, it's like feminism never happened

And while I accept that 'What's for tea?' was scripted as a joke, it isn't very funny and doesn't negate the rest of the shit advert, for the reasons just given by VoiceofReason and OnwardBound.

Absolutely.

I have an idea. Let ASDA film another ad but reversing all the sexes and see how that goes.

Efen more important is for mumsnetters never to take on sexist roles at home. I can strongly recommend going out there, earning 10x your man, spending 25th on ski slopes as i will be with the family with someone else cooking - snow is more like traditional Christmas anyway and being outside makes people much happier. It is huge fun to earn a lot of money and have a balanced non sexist life.

I know a lot of dads who help out a lot, and are very responsible, not lazy! the reason they don't get annoyed with stupid adverts like this because they are out there working hard to provide for their families and don't have time to watch rubbish like this!
My husband should get a medal for buying all the presents and cooking the Xmas meal, and taking the kids on camping trips, and making the packed lunches most mornings and I could be here all day bragging... but it's not just him, there are a lot of good dads/husbands/brothers etc who don't take things for granted! We shop at tesco anyway...

That Asda advert boils my piss. Whenever it's on I end up shouting "why are none of you lazy bastards helping her and, lady, why are you allowing this shit?!" at the TV. I hate Asda anyway as they're owned by Walmart.

You sound like you really hate, well anyone who isn't you. Don't you want people who will provide childcare for your kids, who will reach them, who will clean their classrooms, who will drive their bus home and nurse you perhaps in your old age? Maybe you should just enjoy and be grateful for what you have - your constant comments on this are ridiculous and insulting. But you know this.

If that were directed at me... I don't hate anyone. I do think women should think about money and power issues in relationships however and realise there are possibilities out there which mean they end up more than just a domestic drudge.

IT's A JOKE. Lighten up.

MY DH does as much, if not more, than me during the year. We both found it funny.

But Christmas does tend to be more important to women than men. Most men who are happy to share the load normally, wouldn't bother organising christmas to the same degree as most women.

So yes some things resonated with us. They were exaggerated and tongue in cheek. They were funny. I am not a drudge. I do not cook dinner and wash up. In fact i'll probably be the one washing up not cooking dinner. I will have as much a rest as everyone else on the day. DH writes his own cards. But - christmas would be a much simpler affair if I didn't have more input leading up to it. Yes we argue over the buying the tree. Yes I'm a control freak and like controlling my christmas. DH shares chores normally.

BUT DH and I BOTH FOUND THE AD FUNNY.

thank you for the link, I've just submitted a complaint.

We never shop at Asda anyway. It's full of junk food.

shewhowines I am a drudge Not through choice, but simply because the bloody place would go to pot if I didn't do it all I hate cooking and cleaning and I hate running around after another adult who's perfectly capable of doing stuff himself.

We're booked up to go out for lunch this Christmas because I've refused to do all the cooking and washing up shite. Seeing that woman just makes me sick and I remember the time when ds2 was a baby and I literally sat on the kitchen floor crying with exhaustion through lack of sleep and having to do all the housework. dh just stood and looked at me.

Thousands of women up and down the country live lives like this and it's not fucking funny. It's demoralising and depressing.

And the ad is working. People are noticing it even if they hate it.

It is certainly working.
I wonder if it's a class thing. ASDA is a little ahem.. down market. Is there more sexism the lower your class in the UK as when women earn £100k plus they tend not to be servants at home. Is the political here about money and power really?

hidden Good on you for doing something about it then by insisting on going out to dinner.
People can only be trodden on if they allow it. I know thats easy to say and if you are in that situation then it is difficult to change it.

Perhaps I found it funny because whilst some of it is true for our christmas, that is my choice. I should imagine it is a lot of women's choice because christmas does seem to be more important to women IME. However, yes I can see that is is not remotely funny for women in that situation not through choice.

I don't shop at asda (not that that should matter) and I haven't witnessed the advert (yet, which probably should matter) but I am about ready to complain just from the comments on here...

is class about money then, Xenia?

Xenia, actually the converse is true. Working class women tend to have greater equality in terms of domestic chores according to most of the research - presumed to be because with both partners working long hours to make ends meet, splitting the chores more equally is a necessity to get things done.

You may be onto something about both the woman's earning power having something to do with it, since yes most women earning £100,000 + (so top 5% of the country only) would be outsourcing many domestic tasks out of necessity. However, among high-flying career men who have SAH partners - which is statistically more prevalent in that demographic than two high-earning professionals - I think you'll find women carry out way more than 'their 50%' of domestic chores. That's the point - one partner earns, the other organises and it's a mutually symbiotic arrangement (unless one of them is a fuckwit of course).

Xenia - your comments about 'women thinking about power and money issues in relationships' and ending up 'a domestic drudge' made slightly depressing reading.

I'm an ex-lawyer, formerly highly-paid, well-travelled and successful. I now am a SAHM and happy to do many of the things in the ad (DH is too) - I want to do it. Am I one of your 'domestic drudges'?

I would rather see people making their perfectly reasonable point without diminishing other women. Defeats the point of slagging off Asda really.

Apologies for the superfluous mutually there.

So the answer is earn 10x what your man does and then you don't get lumbered with dull jobs like shopping and cleaning or if you want just choose a different kind of christmas.

We don't buy presents for example as I don't think Christmas is about consumerism. We will have a tree - it's coming on 14th and people decorate it. We will as I say be skiing in France on 24th. It will still be a lovely Christmas but it's just the type we have chosen. Other people might well like the one like on the ad but with others helping. In fact most relatives who come for a meal offer to help. The ad just does not portray the reality.

I try not to allow myself to be downtrodden, but when I do object I get such a backlash that it's often just not worth it; anything for a quiet life and all that. I hate myself for allowing it to happen, but what's the alternative with someone who'd rather have their head removed than actually muck in and do stuff? They put up one hell of a fight you know. That in itself is difficult to live with. At least the vacuum doesn't argue back.

I do bring in the majority of the money at home too.

People learn it from their parents which is why I insist that my two sons do help out and do stuff. I'd hate for them to see that ad. We don't watch much telly in our house, so they haven't yet. If they did I'd certainly sit down and discuss it with them. It's bloody 2012, not 1952! We haven't come very far have we?

Ι didn't find half as offensive as the P&G one, "sponsoring mums" crap, now that really overstepped the mark of gender equality and I bet made father all over the country angry (at least it did mine). Complains for that one last year didn't get anywhere, and they made a new one this year, along with other stupid ones (remember the washing up liquid one? it takes so many meals to create an athlete, or something like that, with no father anywhere to be seen. Or the one with advertising the new multi blender with three blades, with a woman saying "men have three blades. Why shouldn't we?". Or, now that I think about it, aaaaall cleaning product adverts, washing powder adverts and baby food adverts.)

So, I got annoyed for a second, then I realised that WE educate our children and give them a sense of people's roles in life, NOT the tv, so I shrugged it off....

I would say an average post by Xenia is more "women hating" than this ad.

No xenia not the whole reality but elements of it. It is hugely exaggerated but I should think most people recognise bits of their own christmas.

Yes if it exactly your christmas it wouldn't be funny but then it is up to you to change your relationship. It is not the ads fault for highlighting your own insecurities.