...not to want dh to wander around half-naked?

[cavell]

Particularly when, by "half naked" I am referring to the bottom half?
Dh likes to wander around wearing just a t-shirt/shirt and no pants such that his "bits" are left dangling. Sometimes he even has socks on, too.
AIBU to find this borderline revolting? It reminds me of a potty-training toddler, tbh.
Background: together 20 years, married 15, two dds aged 11 and 7. DH's body is okay, albeit a bit skinny. He knows I don't like to see him walking around in his state of undress, but he thinks I am becoming prudish and that he should be able to relax in his own home and not worry about what he is wearing... Should add also that my libido is very low at the moment and seeing his undercarriage peeking out from the bottom of a t-shirt isn't helping at all.
AIBU?

no, Penny, I was saying that anyone who relates this man's behaviour back to the OP's sex life is sick in the head if indeed he is swinging his cock around to get more sex from his wife

the couple's children are onlookers to this

does that seem right to you ?

could collect cruddiness in the crevices

Exactly this. I don't want to be put off my food by collected unspeakables in my crevices thanks. Which is another reason I couldn't for a minute put up with that carry on from my own DH. There's a place for privates and bums when they're not in use: in underwear.

OP, are you still going to show him this thread ?

Does your husband ever use his hands or mouth during sex? Shouldn't he be hiding these from the kids too?

garlicbaguette I am not fighting. Just discussing your posts.

Penny, if it helps, DH and I stick his tshirt underneath us if we have sex somewhere we want to keep stain free.

Op, YANBU. My DH never walks round like this, my dad never did, my brother never did etc etc. Does/did your FIL, or any of his other male relatives?

Can you ask your DH what he thinks DD's teacher would think if this came up at school? Can you ask him why he thinks his "freedom" (which could be achieved with a sarong, dressing gown, harem pants, nightshirt etc) is more important than you and your daughters'' feelings?

That is such a stupid thing to say, headinhands.

How can you seriously compare hands and mouths to a penis.

ask him how he would feel if his DD came home from a friend's house and said the friend's dad had been walking around with no pants on.

Headinhands don't be ridiculous. Men cover their penises in public, women their vulvas and breasts. In western society we don't routinely cover mouths and hands.

agree JF

I think It's a bit odd to wear top half and socks but no pants but wouldn't comment on it as it is home to dress as he pleases. However as soon as the dc expressed discomfort at it, it should be knocked on the head. When you have children your needs/wants become.secondary and you compromise.

DH does this - really doesn't bother me. BUT my parents were also quite happy to be naked round the house, so it doesn't worry me.

Nakedness doesn't bother me or DH (although it is an official rule in our house that socks are removed before undies at all times - thou shalt not miss the Sock Gap!), but it is just vile to continue when an 11yo is getting embarrassed. Just vile.

doctrine it was op who who first alluded to the sexual element of her DP's penis, not me.

I might try to show him this thread later, once the children are in bed. Depends what kind of mood he is in (he is not at home at the moment). My guess is that he will dismiss the talk of "passive agressiveness" and so forth as a load of bollocks. He isn't one to see or look for deeper meanings in anything.

A penis doesn't have a 'sexual element', it's a sexual organ ffs.

Okay, then make it simple.

His wife doesn't like it.
His older daughter doesn't like it.
His younger daughter doesn't like it.

Out voted.

What dreadful fate will befall my children because they see their dad's penis?

Op it really doesn't matter if he thinks it's passive aggressive or what. His DDs and his wife are uncomfortable with it and there are plenty of alternatives to give him the "freedom". He needs to stop being so discourteous, frankly.

I find it very bizarre behaviour, and crossing boundaries of decency too.

If this behaviour is making two young girls and their mother uncomfortable, then it is wrong in my opinion, and is quite abusive.

Head, if your children had said they were uncomfortable, embarrassed and wished he would put trousers on and their wishes were ignored, what harm do you think that would do them?

"Would you be happy for him to say how and when you can be less than fully dressed?"

Yes. However he wouldn't need to because I am a grown adult with no wish to make members of my family feel uncomfortable by imposing the sight of my naked body on them. It's WEIRD that he does this.

My father did this.

Also when in a dressing gown, he still did it. Sitting with legs spread, exposing himself.

From the age of about 6 I was desperately uncomfortable and begged him not to/ tried to get mum to talk to him.

It never stopped, until he left when I was 14. Big part of the reason I didn't go and stay with him alone.

It was part of a larger picture of EA, but looking back I view it as abusice, whether intentionally so or not.

This thread has reminded me of the feelings, it was horrible. I'm 35 now, and he is still inappropriate physically, and still makes me shudder. Not a pleasant relationship to have with your father.

"What dreadful fate will befall my children because they see their dad's penis?"

Seeing a flash of something if a parent is walking from bathroom to bedroom is one thing.. having to eat your breakfast while your father is sat there displaying a flaccid cock is completely different and wrong. Quite sick actually.

The penis has more than one use. Furthermore, as said before we use other parts of our bodies during sex, why don't we hide those?