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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...not to want dh to wander around half-naked?

471 replies

cavell · 04/11/2012 17:07

Particularly when, by "half naked" I am referring to the bottom half?
Dh likes to wander around wearing just a t-shirt/shirt and no pants such that his "bits" are left dangling. Sometimes he even has socks on, too.
AIBU to find this borderline revolting? It reminds me of a potty-training toddler, tbh.
Background: together 20 years, married 15, two dds aged 11 and 7. DH's body is okay, albeit a bit skinny. He knows I don't like to see him walking around in his state of undress, but he thinks I am becoming prudish and that he should be able to relax in his own home and not worry about what he is wearing... Should add also that my libido is very low at the moment and seeing his undercarriage peeking out from the bottom of a t-shirt isn't helping at all.
AIBU?

OP posts:
EuroShagmore · 04/11/2012 17:53

Yuk. I hate that look. My husband always seems to get undressed for the shower by taking his bottom half off first and it is the least appealing look possible.

I feel sorry for your daughters. They shouldn't have to live with this. He has a right to be comfortable, but that right does not override the preferences of the other three people living in the house.

Original poster
cavell · 04/11/2012 17:55

Basically, constatly seeing his dangling "bits" gets on my nerves. And it is anything but erotic. Which tends to make me want sex with dh less rather than more. And I don't feel all that interested in sex these days to start with.
I can't remember if he has always done so.. maybe. But definiteky more these days than he used to.
Side question... is there a "normal" way to get undressed? I think for a man it is usually socks, shirt/jumper, trousers then undies. Definitely not socks last. Dh thinks that the very fact that I think there is a "normal" order of undressing shows just how uptight I am. Am I?

OP posts:
NamingOfParts · 04/11/2012 17:56

If he does lack empathy then you perhaps need to be a bit more clear:

'you look like a toilet training toddler'
'toilet training toddlers are only attractive to their mums'
'I am not your mum so dont find you attractive when you dress like a toilet training toddler'

Flatasawitchestit · 04/11/2012 17:56

^Eww, no one wants to see a flaccid nob flapping around.

Yanbu.^

Grin

No YANBU.

It's odd. Why bother wearing a t shirt if the rests hanging out?

Narked · 04/11/2012 17:57

Please tell me he's not sticking his naked arse on your furniture.

You said he's taking off his trousers to go to the loo and not putting them back on Hmm. Is he wetting them and trying to hide it?

BooyhooRemembering · 04/11/2012 17:59

i dont think i have a usual pattern for undressing but the point is, he isn't undressing. he's just taking of his pants and carrying on with the rest of his day. i could understand if he was getting changed and came out of the bathroom/bedroom to look for clean pants/a dressing gown, trousers but he's not doing that.

Narked · 04/11/2012 18:00

It's impossible for a man to look attractive wandering around with a top and socks on. Fact. You'd laugh at the sexiest man in the world if he went around knob out and socks on.

Shutupanddrive · 04/11/2012 18:00

Leave the bastard

MrsWhoGivesaShit · 04/11/2012 18:01

errmm... what is wrong with being naked?! DH and I are naturists. if your DH wants to be naked in the house and you don't like his naked bum on the sofa then give him a towel to sit on!

why not look into local naturists site for him? so that he can go to places where he can relax naked and not be judged!

personally i DO think you are a prude!

Narked · 04/11/2012 18:03

Do naturists wear a t-shirt and socks?

cantspel · 04/11/2012 18:05

He is not naked or a naturist though if he has just his knob on show.

BigBoobiedBertha · 04/11/2012 18:05

Normal man undressing is, as far as my limited experience tells me, top, trousers, socks, pants. (Socks after trousers because they are easier to get to then). Certainly not pants first.

Does he go around the kitchen with no undies on? I am wondering if his privates might meet with a little shock - something every cold or very hot perhaps?

MrsWhoGivesaShit · 04/11/2012 18:07

if it is cold! maybe not socks, but why not!

we recently went on a naturist holiday in wales, and spent most of the time naked. But if you are chilly then put a t-shirt/jacket on! it is not punishment! if you are a bit cold then put some clothes on to warm up!

maybenow · 04/11/2012 18:08

When i read your thread title i was jealous - my dh has body hang-up issues and won't do anything half naked or even entirely naked except the obvious but even then mostly under covers Sad It certainly doesn't help my libido when I never get to see or touch his chest (cause of his belly hang ups).

I would love us to both prance around naked or half naked - but to be honest, if 'half' naked it would be the top half i'd want to see... wearing a tshirt and no pants is weird. particularly with socks.

I get that he might want to dangle free but suggest a dressing gown for this...

MrsWhoGivesaShit · 04/11/2012 18:08

cantspel who are you to say who/what naturist are?!

BooyhooRemembering · 04/11/2012 18:08

"DH and I are naturists. if your DH wants to be naked in the house and you don't like his naked bum on the sofa then give him a towel to sit on! "

it's not just about that though is it? 2 children are being subjected to having to see this and one has expressed discomfort. do you tell your dcs they have to tolerate seeing your genitals on a regular basis even if they express discomfort?

ThreadWatcher · 04/11/2012 18:09

Id turn your heating down - then he would need more than a t shirt for warmth.

A pair of pants and trousers as well as the t shirt = problem solved.

YANBU at all op

pigletmania · 04/11/2012 18:09

YANBU not appropriate

Original poster
cavell · 04/11/2012 18:10

He sometimes comes down to breakfast with no pants on. Just shirt, tie and socks. Then, when he goes back up to brush his teeth, he puts his pants and trousers on before he goes to work.
I think I might show him this thread later this evening to see that most women seem to agree with me.

OP posts:
MrsWhoGivesaShit · 04/11/2012 18:11

booy no I don't have any DC yet, but when we do they will be coming with us.

i personally don't see what there is to be uncomfortable about,

JustFabulous · 04/11/2012 18:11

I just can't understand why he thinks it is okay to be naked in front of his preteens. And I am aware he is wearing a tshirt and socks Hmm but he is as good as naked.

BooyhooRemembering · 04/11/2012 18:11

see i just dont get this. i think he is doing it on purpose. if he can button up a shirt and do a tie, he has time to throw a pair of pants on before coming down to eat.

AnyFucker · 04/11/2012 18:13

So, your husband displaying his knob in this inappropriate fashion is putting you off from having sex with him

What do you think it makes your daughters feel ?

BooyhooRemembering · 04/11/2012 18:13

"I don't have any DC yet, but when we do they will be coming with us. "

what if they get to age 6/7/8 and say they dont want to go and see naked people? will you make them?

cocolepew · 04/11/2012 18:13

Frankly he sounds like a fucking idiot who is in love with his knob. A shirt and tie on and no breeks?