...not to want dh to wander around half-naked?

[cavell]

Particularly when, by "half naked" I am referring to the bottom half?
Dh likes to wander around wearing just a t-shirt/shirt and no pants such that his "bits" are left dangling. Sometimes he even has socks on, too.
AIBU to find this borderline revolting? It reminds me of a potty-training toddler, tbh.
Background: together 20 years, married 15, two dds aged 11 and 7. DH's body is okay, albeit a bit skinny. He knows I don't like to see him walking around in his state of undress, but he thinks I am becoming prudish and that he should be able to relax in his own home and not worry about what he is wearing... Should add also that my libido is very low at the moment and seeing his undercarriage peeking out from the bottom of a t-shirt isn't helping at all.
AIBU?

I would worry he is getting some sort of sexual thrill from it. Coming down for breakfast dressed apart from his pants and trousers is not normal.

christ almighty, I've seen some handmaiden posts on this website, but that one takes the biscuit

"Do you think the frequency has increased with your libido going down? It does sound like he's doing it on purpose, in some strange sort of 'look at my penis!' sort of way to make you want/remember about sex."

Possibly there is something in this... whenever I have tried to "air" trhe subject (jokily, matter-of-factly, fairly forcefully) he just dismisses my concerns as my being prudish or uptight. And it's true that I have never been as comfortable with nakedness as he is. (Then again, I am more adventurous in bed than he is when we actually get around to having sex.)

why would he feel such a need to announce that he's just taken a shit?

Blech.. utter utter turnoff.. how are you ever going to shag him again OP?

why should the op look up some naturlist places for him?
He is a grown man who if interested in running around naked could find such places for himself.

I don't see how it would be a turn off TBH. To the contrary, I find having my DH dressed with top and bottom PJs in bed a turn off.
OP my DH always says that men's nuts are a nuisance because they itch and get uncomfortable if constrained. I was a bit but perhaps it's us women who just can't understand where they're coming from!

Ewwwwwww. He is sitting down to eat his breakfast with his naked arse on the chair? Just what a kitchen needs, fecal bacteria.

If it's about comfort buy the man a dressing gown or some seamless (woven) pj bottoms. Buy him a skirt FFS!

Socks and a top and his cock out.
Shirt, tie, socks and his cock out.

Not sexy.

It could just be that he is oblivious to the visual, social and hygiene implications, especially if he just switches off at home.
Not wearing underpants and trousers is a lot more comfortable for DS at 17, so at home he relaxes in pj bottoms because no one else wants to see his genitals. He doesn't see nudity as a problem, but he's used to compromises and explanations as he doesn't live alone.
Your DH should put something on because the other people in the house are not all comfortable with his current choices.

Tell him to tie a little bell on it, then you can leave the room when you hear him coming (so to speak)

Would you be happy for him to say how and when you can be less than fully dressed?

My husband is routinely a combination of
top/no pants
Pants/no top
Socks/no pants
Top/socks
On the odd occasion he is pants/socks/AND top!!

You teach your children what to find odd.

perhaps Op and her daughters should have a little cock-thanking ceremony every sunday ?

lol maybe they could make a little garland of flowers for it and a little cushion for him to rest it on

The shirt/tie/socks & no pants thing is very odd. Very very odd. I can understand boxers/t-shirt or nothing or just boxers - but just a top? (and FGS sometimes socks!!??!!) it's all upside down!?

I spend a lot of time in just pants or pants & a t-shirt - but then I'm home alone a lot of the time and there's no one to 'offend'. I wouldn't do it if the people I lived with didn't like it and I certainly wouldn't do it if my partner found it a turn off and I wanted sex on a regular basis!! He's being a total idiot on that score alone!

I have no issue with kids seeing their parents naked - none at all and I'd have no problem with him walking from the bathroom to the bedroom (for example) naked... but walking around all the time with his bits dangling about is just not pleasant for his daughters - apart from anything else.

He needs to accept that although it's his home, it's also yours and the girls and it's unfair on the rest of you.

But it can't be about comfort, can it? Because then he'd just pop a dressing gown on. Sadly, it does sound as if it's all about provocation/point-scoring. How lovely for his daughters.

OP, what does he say about your DDs? Are they just being prudish and uptight in his opinion?

why do people (including OP) keep relating this behaviour back to sex ?

this is nothing to do with sex

unless, OP, your daughters are routinely involved in your sex life ?

headinhands society teaches children what is 'odd' - not just their parents. Of course it's nice to be able to do as you please without considering anyone else's feelings - but that doesn't really work when you have a wife & children to consider!

This sounds really grim, and it does sound as though he might be doing it (at least partly, and possibly not consciously) to annoy you. I'm pretty sure it's not normal - my DP has what I have always considered a rather vile tendency to walk around the house wearing just his undercrackers and a T-shirt but I may have to rethink the vileness of this in view of the fact that he could be taking the 'crackers off as well!
And your last post, about coming down to breakfast with just his top half dressed and then going back upstairs to put his trousers on, is just weird - why doesn't he eat his breakfast in a dressing gown, then put all his clothes on? Perhaps he needs a nice dressing gown for Christmas, longish with a generous wrap. Although perhaps he'd prefer one of those shortie satin ones with a dragon embroidered on the back?

XH1 used to do this. Never really thought about it before. I only remembered when your remark about potty-training toddlers made me cackle loudly and visual memories come flooding back!

It's a bit off, imo, that he insists on it despite knowing you and DD don't much like it. That very much makes it look like a point being made (pardon the pun ) and he seems to be getting at you with the 'prude' comments. Sounds like you might need a joint, focused effort at getting it back on in the sex department?

In the meantime, I'd recommend extra-long t-shirts and/or traditional nightshirts. XH1 liked sarongs. Is that a possibility?

I have a "pants minimum" rule in our house for DS, and would expect DH to respect that too! There is nothing sexy about a flappy cock when the rest of the man is dressed, it's doesn't look like sexy exposure, it looks like you've caught a dementia patient who forgot what they were doing half way through getting dressed.

In my (albeit not as extensive as some) experince, men undress shoes and socks first, then top half then trousers and socks. Most men dress underwear (pants and socks) first then shirt, then trousers and the tie and jacket are the last things to go on. I have never seen a man put on shirt and tie before pants. I dress toddler DS pants and socks first then 'outer' clothes, doesn't everyone? Where did he learn this odd dressing technique???

I second opening windows and turning heating off when he starts doing it - and some harsh words. He is being very disrespectful both to you and your DDs. At least he could wrap a towel round himself.

The more I'm thinking about it (yuck) the more passive aggressive I think he's being. Like he wants to make you uncomfortable because you aren't giving him what he wants (sex) so he is reminding you that he is a person with 'sexual anatomy' and 'needs.'

If that's what he is doing then I think he must to be made absolutely clear that it is not appropriate for him to put his comfort/needs above others, and that it can be a slippery slope when he starts justifying himself in that way.

He leaves his socks on?!??!

Leave the bastard!

If you have youngish dc's then faecal bacteria is just background noise.

AF - because it's affecting her libido as well as everything else and that's fair enough isn't it?? I certainly would find it a turn off. But I agree that the DD's are the more important issue here.

WhereYouLeftIt - it could be entirely about comfort, I like wearing a t-shirt & pants, I hate dressing gowns. But that's not the point. You can't just be 100% comfortable at the expense of others living in the house.

Oh well, this thread has cheered me up no end...
Next time my dds complain: "It's embarassing...why doesn't dad put some trousers on?" or: "Yuk! I can see your willy. It's disgusting!" (as the little one has been known to utter), I will tell them to show a bit more respect for it is that very wily to whom they owe their existance.