to think children shouldn't be punished for being poorly?

[mumnosbest]

Only children with 100% attendence are allowed to the school Halloween party. DS has a recurrent illness (every 3 months or so). He had 1 day off this term, after his teacher said he was struggling and needed a day to rest up, then he was up all that night and I agreed with her. DS wanted to go to school but was in no fit state and now blames me that he can't go to the party :(

I knowthere is an issue with poor attendence at the school and you can't have 1 rule for 1 and another for others but... Maybe 99% would be fairer as surely a lot of DCs miss 1 day through genuine illness. If this rewarding attendence is going to be a half-termly event DS will probably miss out on half of them as he will be ill again in about 3 months! (FingersX it's on a weekend).

AIBU (I am feeling very U and ranty this morning)?

can't believe it. really can't.

The 100% attendance thing really annoys me. If they're sick, they're sick.

Anyone else remember the threads ( like this one ) where generally parents and teachers complain about sick children being sent in to school?! A lot of posters (there but not here!) argue that schools aren't set up to look after poorly kids, there are no nurses, bugs get passed round more quickly, schools ask this for a good reason, parents who do this are irresponsible and unreasonable, etc...

Rewarding 100% attendance seems daft enough, but punishing children whose parents actually do what schools ask seems totally crazy!

Yanbu, kids shouldn't miss out on the party because they've been ill, it's very unfair. Can just imagine the riot there would be in our house if our school did this, as dd2 had two days off with a tummy bug, and dd1 hasn't missed any days so far this year. This sort of thing also encourages kids to come into school when they should really be at home, it sends out the wrong message.

Competitions are shit. This is slightly off the point, but bear with me.

My form group has the longest list of infringements for lateness and uniform of any group in their year, so will not win a prize. So what, I hear you say.

I've been teaching for 30+ years in UK and Oz, and every time a competition for punctuality/uniform has been punted, and it's with tedious regularity, my form has been the worst. What are the odds?

It's not much fun for the parents having to haul an unwilling and frightened child to a painful hospital procedure every week when they know as well as you do that one result of their compliance is that they will have a school reward withheld.

If I had my way, there would be a special reward system for children who fight against the odds. Dd is making a come-back and hopefully getting her GCSEs after a year of breakdown following many years of chronic pain. She would not be eligible to attend her prom even if she didn't have a single day's sickness this year; her routine medical appointments will see to that.

Her brother never does a stroke of work if he isn't hounded to and may fail his GCSEs because of sheer laziness. But he'll be able to attend the prom because he's as fit as a fiddle.

Might that be because you're too busy encouraging children to do more important things echt, like, um, learning?!

Cory - so your daughter is being excluded from her prom because of an illness beyond her control. Unbelievable! I had no idea such policies existed.

Definitely not overreacting, this is ridiculous, totally unfair policy :(

On this very note, I have just been party to a parent dropping their poorly child (child told me they were ill and in all honesty they looked dreadful) off this morning, parent is at home but hung over, so child has to go to school! Makes me so furious!

Hugely selfish parents who don't care that their actions will cause illness to be spread about the school/class causing those who's parents are responsible to take more time off work to compensate for their actions/drinking.

Sorry, gone off on a bit of a rant there, but my point is valid.

cory thats terrible and puts ds's halloween party into perspective as do so many of these posts. I hope you take the advice ob here and fight her corner.

Still no word from the head . Im collecting ds at lunch. We're going for lunch and halloween shopping so hes quite happy.

YANBU

DS had chicken pox that started the day he was due to go back to school after last Christmas. He tried to go back to school after two weeks but was sent home as he was still feeling rough. I asked for work to be sent home for him to do at home when he was feeling up to it and after 3 weeks of being off he went back to school. A month later we had a letter from school informing us that DS's attendance had dropped below 95% and as a consequence he was being monitored and may be referred to the education welfare officer! I was not a happy bunny!

Have a good afternoon with your Ds mumnosbest . They have now succeeded in reducing attendance due to their ludicrous policy . ........

I think all teachers should take a year out being mum and read MN . My whole perspective on teaching has changed this year. I have so many changes to make when I go back!

jossy :) will do thanks.
mrsarchie wouldnt worry. Oir office automatically sends these letters out without checking why dcs were off. It can be really insensitive but the teacher knows it was genuine.

Er..mumsnobest teachers aren't celibate you know

The attendance shit is set by central government. The competition crap is entirely different. Actually, it's set by SLT. Good luck with changing their agenda.

echt i know im a teacher too but it is very different to be just a mum and not a teacher mum. Its quite easy to become more understanding and complicit with school politics when you are part of it iyswim.

Cory I think that is one of the most shocking things I have ever read on MN! Your poor DD! Don't roll over and accept it, write to the Chair of Govenors today and give them a date to reply by. If you get no joy go to the local papers. You have to let the whole community know what a nasty, horrible,person is running that school. If I was looking for a secondary school I wouldn't choose it, and I mean that.

Both my DSes have chronic illnesses, hospital appointments and orthodontic appointments. The HT didn't stop DS1 going to his Prom. She had better not stop DS2 either. He has never been in trouble, had a detention, or been in isolation and to me that is more important than attendance!

Yanbu, I hope you and your ds have a lovely afternoon Halloween shopping :)

I am not a mum yet so correct my logic, but why do people keep their kids off school if it isn't for illness? Surely effort of taking your kids to school and picking them up is less than entertaining the all day or putting up with cbeebies?

I guess that some people are chronically lazy and for them, the effort of getting up, getting dressed and travelling to school is more than the "effort" of staying in bed, throwing some crisps at your child and letting the TV act as babysitter. But .... when it's primary age kids, even if they do have an irresponsible parent like that, it's still very wrong to punish the child by witholding treats for something they have no control over - just like illness, accident and medical appointments.

This thread has really shocked me. This pompous, irrational and spiteful policy is like something out of a Dickens novel where schoolkids were punished and/or picked on for the most spurious reasons they couldn't help - like being left handed or being "illegitimate"! This is now supposed to be the 21st century and we are supposed to live in an inclusive society where it's illegal to discriminate against people who have disabilities. Obviously stupid attendance=reward policies like these potentially do just that because such children are more likely to need time off for medical checks and treatment. Similarly, ill children cannot be held responsible for being sick - it's a fact of life, we all get ill, and if schools suspect that individual parents are, on behalf of their child, "swinging the lead" with fictitious ailments then they need to address those concerns on an individual basis with the parents.

As Tutt suggested before I would definitely go to the local papers about this if I had no justifiable explanation from the head teacher. And frankly there isn't one is there .... not one person responding to this thread has been able to think of anything which would make this okay. If schools are hoping to "shame" parents into increasing attendance then I very much doubt that the sort of parent who won't get out of bed etc would give a damn much anyway and in the meantime, what exactly are responsible parents actually supposed to do when their child is recovering from illness, or needs to attend a hospital appointment? Are schools really suggesting that children forego assessment, treatment, physio and so on so they can publish better bloody attendance figures ? I rather think denying a child the medical care they need falls into the neglect category and no caring parent would do that just so the school can tick a box. Yet then they punish the child ..... in this case, a very young child who has no clue about attendance figures and only knows he's being excluded from all the fun. We read all the time on here about birthday invite dilemmas and how many schools now insist invites are handed directly to parents rather than to children to avoid highlighting who's not been invited etc .... yet then you go and get some schools do stuff like this. It's absolutely cruel and spiteful, and a wasted "lesson" if that's what they're trying to do. You might imagine that head teachers are supposed to be intelligent ..........

I think the attendance thing is that here we have a problem with punctuality as well as general attendance. If the children aren't here by 9 o'clock they aren't marked in the register (they have to sign the late book) and thus don't have the 100% attendance. Most of the time this isn't the kids fault. The amount of times I see parents hanging round the shops down the road when they should be at the school dropping kids off is unbelievable, then they casually stroll up to the school and wonder why they get letters from the EWO.

I have healthy kids generally but I don't agree with attendance treats. We have monthly ones at my boys primary, and then an end of year treat. DS3 & Ds4 got to go the cinema last year and I had a very upset ds5 who couldn't understand why he wasn't going. He'd caught everything going that year and had 94% attendance. The yearly attendance was up to the June half term so when ds4 got chickenpox on the last week of term he'd already had his treat despite a week off.

I think encourages parents to send sick kids to school and the ones that can't be to get school still can't be arsed, so attendance treats ate a waste of time IMO.

I don't think we should accept this at all. It wouldn't be acceptable in a work setting. You could go to a tribunal for discrimination.

We need to stand up to this in a coordinated fashion. Boycott events of these kinds and ask other parents to. Have a Mumsnet campaign, write to School, papers, LEA, Local MP.

Schools should NOT be treating our young people like this.

I agree with you slipperynipple and with catsmother's excellent post in which she describes this approach as Dickensian . I can see no justification for it at all, and I see it as a major issue - what are we trying to teach children after all. Mumnosbest did you get any response or push back when you collected your Ds?

Please tell us this is a joke :(

YANBU! i would be livid if the school my DD goes to adopted this policy. im amazed they are getting away with it!

I collected ds at lunch. Didnt see his teacher. The receptionist (who i get on with) asked where he was going so i said out for lunch and shopping. She just gave a knowing look and smiled. Still no word from the head though