to think children shouldn't be punished for being poorly?

[mumnosbest]

Only children with 100% attendence are allowed to the school Halloween party. DS has a recurrent illness (every 3 months or so). He had 1 day off this term, after his teacher said he was struggling and needed a day to rest up, then he was up all that night and I agreed with her. DS wanted to go to school but was in no fit state and now blames me that he can't go to the party :(

I knowthere is an issue with poor attendence at the school and you can't have 1 rule for 1 and another for others but... Maybe 99% would be fairer as surely a lot of DCs miss 1 day through genuine illness. If this rewarding attendence is going to be a half-termly event DS will probably miss out on half of them as he will be ill again in about 3 months! (FingersX it's on a weekend).

AIBU (I am feeling very U and ranty this morning)?

[JoInScotland]

I remember in my first year of school, when there was an award for 100% attendance - it was either for the first half-year or the whole year, I can't remember. What I do remember is that I missed the first week of school because I hadn't been immunised and I was not allowed to enroll. Every day we packed a lunch, and I put on my new clothes, and we walked to school.. to be turned away (until my Mum claimed some religious exemption so I could start school).

Fast forward 4 or 9 months, and I wasn't awarded the certificate and prize that many others were, because although I attended every day that after that first week, I hadn't been there at the beginning. I cried.

[VioletStar]

My school does 100% attendance certificates for the staff. No mum's ever get them. Mostly male staff. I wonder why?

[mumnosbest]

Mmm cant think why violet

Hope ds doesnt remember this when hes older :(

[Jossysgiants]

Hope not mumnosbest.. Have you decided to keep him out in the afternoon? Unfairness is so upsetting. Life isn't fair, but I do feel schools really should be striving for as much fairness as possible. Otherwise it's very discouraging for kids.

[OscarPistoriusGirlfriend]

It's a disgusting policy, ds1's school does certificates which is bad enough. I intend to raise the point this year. So far ds has had 3 days off. 1 after a car crash and school wouldn't accept him until we'd been to a&e, by the time we were seen and allowed out it was 1pm so no point sending him in and twice he's been sent home for being sick, luckily as the weekend approached. Both times because other parents had sent their vomiting offspring in!

[diddl]

Well surely 100% attendance should be awarded for not truanting?

I mean, if you´re ill kids don´t want to be there-and they aren´t wanted there!

And it´s probably something that was picked up at bloody school anyway!

[Pooka]

Dd had 10 days off last year - ENT consultants instructions post-tonsillectomy.

Ds1 had 4, 2 of which were when he was in hospital strapped to a nebuliser and 2 were result of d&v.

It's not bloody fair. It sucks that the children are punished because of being Ill or having parents who don't send them in.

[SneezySnatcher]

I'm a primary school teacher and I am shocked at this. If my school tried to implement it I would definitely be against this policy, as would my colleagues.

At my school we have a weekly class attendance trophy, where the class with the highest combined attendance receives the trophy for a week. I think this is much better as most classes have won it at some point.

We implemented this as Ofsted do look at attendance and some of our children were coming in just after register, which still affects attendance figures. The system has worked well and attendance is up.

Obviously, however, it is the parents who decide if/when their child comes in and we have a support officer to work with the parents of children who are often late/absent.

OP, I hope your school stops this ridiculous system. Definitely mention the DDA.

[BustersOfDoom]

I really hate this shit. DS was off school for 5 months when he was 8 after he was treated for a brain tumour. They even had a special assembly to welcome him back. Another child in his year was also absent some months after having meningitis and was welcomed back in the same way.

There was never any of this crap about rewarding those lucky enough never to be ill - or the poor kids being sent in when they were ill. The whole idea is just crap. Yes I know that there are parents who will keep their DC off school for the flimsiest of reasons but rewarding those who have not taken a sick day is ridiculous. They might as well just send those with green or hazel eyes on the trip for all the sense it makes. Since when did immunity from childhood illnesses or cancer become a prize winning attribute?

Your HT should be grateful she never met me back in 1996. I would've given her more to think about than she ever bargained for. A chronically sick child makes a lioness out of a mother. Show your teeth OP!

[SouthernComforts]

This thread has made me really angry, your poor ds.

My dd has long term health problems and I know she will never achieve 100% attendance when she starts school next year. It makes me sad that she will miss out on so many 'treats' because of her poor health. She already misses lots of meet ups with friends at soft play etc because she's poorly or too tired from illness.

[SouthernComforts]

Agree with pp, I will not give in without a fight if I do end up in that situation. Totally unfair.

[mumnosbest]

Well if one good thing has come frim this, its that we have a friendly supportive AIBU thread where we all pretty much agree!

i've asked ds what he wants to do. He says he doesn't want to go because his friends wont be there so i'm going to pick him up at lunch and yes buster i will show my teeth if they try to stop me!

[nkf]

That's not a good system at all. Certificates and trophies are okay but not excluding from a party. And 100% is unrealistic. And children with underlying conditions should have a different criteria. Write and outline your views.

[stella1w]

This is stupid, mean and unfair. This year four out of 180 kids at dd,s infant school got presents for 100 per cent attendance rate. More than half dd,s class have been off over the past fews weeks with dnv. Dd was sick one day after school and fine the next. I was sorely tempted to send her in cos of the 100 per cent rule bit that wd have breached the 48 hour rule. I don,t think any employer expects 100 attendance. Everyone, especially little kids get sick.

[MaryZed]

Well done .

I almost hope they stop you and ask questions, so you can quote some of the posts on here.

It's a pity referring them to it would out you. I don't think I've ever seen such a unanimous YANBU.

[McHappyPants2012]

i would be on the phone to the LEA.

my son will never get 100% due to medical appoinment

[chandellina]

My son's school has this, they take the 100 percenters to a play. I don't think it's fair for a standard party that everyone should be welcome at, but I think the concept of a special reward is fine to encourage a better effort by parents and children.

[kissyfur]

That's really unfair, YANBU! I would complain to the head teacher and school governors. Feel sad for your DS!

[DowntonTrout]

I haven't read the whole thread.

I have a real problem with the whole 100% attendance thing. Our school awards badges every year for 100% attendance. It is always the same children from the same families who receive them.

I don't want to offend working parents but in the case of our school there are a certain number of children who are dropped off, no matter what, because their parents work. Even one who was sick in school the day before ( we have 48 hour exclusion policy) and was then allowed to remain in school because her mother went to work, insisting she was fine, and turned her phone off. This child duly got up to receive the 100% badge, again.

That's just an example, and to balance it I'll tell you about a SAHM who brought her DS in the day after he was sick, again in school, because she had a day planned shopping.

It makes me furious. Particularly as I believe that with primary age children it is the parent who chooses to send/ not send a child to school, not the child.

[diddl]

"but I think the concept of a special reward is fine to encourage a better effort by parents and children."

Really?

I´m gobsmacked tbh.

It´s the luck of the draw for a lot of kids that they don´t pick up every sniffle going.

And you think that that merits a reward?

Incredible!

How do you make a better effort not to pick up something from someone else??

[Tuttutitlookslikerain]

This is completely and utterly unfair, and I would be fuming. Both my children have chronic health conditions and have never had 100% attendance in all the time they have been at school. It's not their fault, or mine, they would rather not be ill. DS1 has hardly been in this half term because he has has whooping cough.

I hope you manage to do something nice with your DS Op, there is no way on this earth either of mine would be doing normal lessons while some of them were at a party!

[weegiemum]

This is totally shite!

My ds suffers migraines. About once ever 4/6 weeks he wakes up with it, needs calpol and sleeps till about 2pm then vomits and that's the end of it.

I'm not happy that anyone would have an issue with him being off in this situation.

[pointyfangs]

I have those children who are never ever ill, and I hate this system. DD1's previous school used to give them WH Smith vouchers for 100% attendance - cumulatively, £5 for the first term, £10 for the second term, £15 for the third term so £30 for 100% attendance for the whole year. DD got the full whack both years she was there, and I ended up giving DD2 the same out of my pocket because hey, she'd achieved the same thing...

DD1 has a boy in her year who has had leukaemia three times. Lots of chemo, hospital stays, checkups - fortunately they did give him and others with chronic conditions awards too. Still not right though, in the workplace you don't get penalised unless your sickness absence is persistent and suspicious on the Bradford Scale.

A week by week award on a whole class basis is much fairer and gives everyone a chance whilst still improving attendance - win-win.

[BustersOfDoom]

Good for you Mumnosbest it is such a discrimantory policy that it stinks. Any child who has any significant health problem would never be able to achieve 100% attendance due to the fact that hospital appointments are held during school/working hours. It's shit but I urge all parents to tell HTs to sod off!

[xkcdfangirl]

That's really horrible. Of course YANBU for all the reasons given above.

If you have the chutzpah, given that you know when the party is it would be great if you felt able to take DS into the party anyway, and breeze in saying "of course you aren't excluding people whose absense was due to genuine medical need, that would be illegal discrimination wouldn't it?" and smile lightheartedly so as to communicate that you have every confidence that they agree such discrimination would be silly.