to think children shouldn't be punished for being poorly?

[mumnosbest]

Only children with 100% attendence are allowed to the school Halloween party. DS has a recurrent illness (every 3 months or so). He had 1 day off this term, after his teacher said he was struggling and needed a day to rest up, then he was up all that night and I agreed with her. DS wanted to go to school but was in no fit state and now blames me that he can't go to the party :(

I knowthere is an issue with poor attendence at the school and you can't have 1 rule for 1 and another for others but... Maybe 99% would be fairer as surely a lot of DCs miss 1 day through genuine illness. If this rewarding attendence is going to be a half-termly event DS will probably miss out on half of them as he will be ill again in about 3 months! (FingersX it's on a weekend).

AIBU (I am feeling very U and ranty this morning)?

[Jossysgiants]

Has there been any reply Op now you are back after half term?

[mumnosbest]

well half term hols start tomorrow and still no reply. great pr skills . just wondering whether to follow it up and how. i went in to discuss return to work stuff and was going to mention it but she'd gone home sick no xmas party for her, lazy skiver

[SlipperyNipple]

I think the whole idea of giving prizes for being well is just so odd. Is it naughty to be ill for fucks sake.

If there has to be some sort of attendance prize (and I strongly think not) then at least it should be by class.

Anyway back to the very important point that at primary age none of this is within the control of the child.

[nickeldaisical]

I'm praying for my DD to get 100% attendance in a school that does this, just so we can boycott it.
at punishing a child for being sick!

nothing wrong with rewarding, but 100% is insane (I think saying maybe no more than 1 sick day a term would be more realistic)
and rewarding rather than punishing, by giving them a non-school-related treat. or a certificate.
taking kids out of school time and punishing the others is wrong on so many levels.

[mintyneb]

I'm a late joiner to the thread but like many others I have a 5 yo DD with an incurable chronic health problem and even if she was completely 'healthy' all year she would never achieve 100% attendence due to her regular hospital check ups.

I would be marching straight to DD's headteacher quoting the Disability Discrimination Act if she ever tried to pull a stunt like this. Fortunately, she is far more accepting of people with health problems.

I try to bring DD up as much as possible that there will be no barriers to what she can achieve so to be in your shoes and be told she can't even go to a party stinks.

I will be watching how things progress and I wish you luck with getting your HT to see sense

[mumnosbest]

Oh and ofsted are due back soon so I'm looking forward to the parents questionnaire

[mumnosbest]

Amazed and cross at these stories. I certainly won't be sending DS if they repeat this treat even if by some miracle he acheives 100% I think there are a few other parents who would join me too.

No slippery not a dickie bird! You won't be surprised to hear that communication and parental involvement was also an issue picked up on by ofsted. She certainly leads by example! I'm back at work soon so hope to make some changes from within. Staff meetings could become interesting and she must know there will be a bit of tension if she doesn't reply soon.

[SlipperyNipple]

mumnosbest did the head ever get back to your letter?

[MaryZcary]

I think the problem is that the people whose children get the rewards don't really think it's an issue.

And those who don't are looked on as whingers if they complain.

What needs to happen if for some parents (and children) to stand up and refuse to take a reward that is intrinsically unfair to others. I don't know whether that will ever happen though.

[SlipperyNipple]

I am also amazed Jossy that this has been going on for some years and it's getting more popular.

Parents must be a bit brainwashed into just accepting school policy and are too scared that there will be negative come back for their children if they make waves.

[Jossysgiants]

I am going to pop an email to my Lea and ask them if they have a policy written or unwritten on these matters. Slippery - you'd still hope someone would try and point out the unfairness I agree.

[LittleBoxes]

DD is currently flat out on the sofa with a fever - the second day of a nasty virus. I would be LIVID if this meant she wasn't allowed to attend a party.

[SlipperyNipple]

Yes I see what your saying Jossy. It happens all over the place with targets.

It reinforces the idea in my mind that it is up to the parents to apply pressure to schools to keep them in line with reasonable behaviour.

[Jossysgiants]

Slippery - I think maybe when you are so absorbed in these kind of goals and objectives, you begin to see achieving them as an end in itself and stop questioning the validity of those objectives and supporting policies. I think the Op, who is a teacher herself noted that being on leave for a while has given her a different perspective and allowed her to see the situation more clearly.

[SlipperyNipple]

I just don't understand how a teacher, who one would hope would go into teaching to shape the minds of the future could be so cruel and short sighted. It makes me think that these head teachers don't have the necessary skills for the job.

They are either scared of not hitting targets or they are unfeeling bastards to be frank.

And why are the other teachers in the school not standing up for the poor children that they teach?

[Jossysgiants]

I managed to find that story in the Dm Mary - incredible. From 2010. The head teacher was justifying it by saying it was part of a programme of activities. A programme which systematically excludes the bereaved and sick. Nice!
I am really surprised that this has made its way into the press a number of times yet seems to be continuing, and indeed growing in popularity if my google search is anything to go by.

[MaryZcary]

That's a terrible story, Jossy. Especially the "being able to invite a friend" - I mean wtf, does that mean if you are popular but don't go to school you can go on the trip, but if you miss a day and aren't so popular you can't. It's crap.

But there was a worse one that I can't find, where a child was banned from a school Christmas party because he had missed two days of school - because his father had died .

[Jossysgiants]

Story from 2009....

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/8127352.stm

Sorry am in research mode now.

[Jossysgiants]

It should be illegal. It is outrageous. I have just googled ' 100% school attendance treats' which brings up many many schools all proudly stating how they have chosen to reward the non- sick.

[catsmother]

I feel so angry on behalf of all the kids who've been punished like this when they've done absolutely NOTHING wrong ... and their mum's too, if it were my daughter I'd probably cry about something like this in fact, to think a totally unfair rule had been imposed on her and had upset her. Imagine how many kids bear regular pain and discomfort because of an ongoing condition, how many get frightened going to hospital for essential investigation and/or treatment which they sob about and suffer sleepness nights for. And then, some witch of a jobsworth does this to them on top. So so unfair ..... and Cory, am gobsmacked that pupils in your school have come up with the same exclusive policy and that no sensible fair minded adult - because they must be involved in the process somewhere as you simply don't get a load of kids all on their own running a prom - actually bloody well put them straight ! What's the betting those kids are the fortunate few not to have been ill this year ?

I too wonder how often this kind of thing goes on ? .... and I'd love to see a campaign which makes it illegal for schools to deny treats on the basis of non attendance when it's not the child's fault they haven't been there - whether that be for illness, accident or indeed feckless parenting because that isn't something the child can control either - certainly not in primary and middle schools. But how do you set about organising such a campaign ?

[Jossysgiants]

I would very much like to know how widespread this sort of thing is. But cannot think of any way to find out other than straw poll.

[MaryZed]

I cannot believe that dd's school Student Council would ever make such a decision cory . And if they did she would be very much against it.

[BoffinMum]

Nipple, that is a great idea! Ask for staff attendance records via an FOI request

[SlipperyNipple]

Oh dear I am losing words because I'm very angry. And breath.

[SlipperyNipple]

I think that the teachers at the School should not be able to go to the Christmas Party if they don't have 100% attendance - maybe you could suggest that to the head.

Also it would be quite interesting whether the head has had 100% attendance in the past year.