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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think children shouldn't be punished for being poorly?

191 replies

mumnosbest · 23/10/2012 10:02

Only children with 100% attendence are allowed to the school Halloween party. DS has a recurrent illness (every 3 months or so). He had 1 day off this term, after his teacher said he was struggling and needed a day to rest up, then he was up all that night and I agreed with her. DS wanted to go to school but was in no fit state and now blames me that he can't go to the party :(

I knowthere is an issue with poor attendence at the school and you can't have 1 rule for 1 and another for others but... Maybe 99% would be fairer as surely a lot of DCs miss 1 day through genuine illness. If this rewarding attendence is going to be a half-termly event DS will probably miss out on half of them as he will be ill again in about 3 months! (FingersX it's on a weekend).

AIBU (I am feeling very U and ranty this morning)?

OP posts:
Woozley · 23/10/2012 10:33

I don't even like attendance certificates, but the above is really appalling. If true, the school is bonkers and will be in serious trouble if they go ahead. It is totally unfair discrimination. Children can't help it if they are ill, or indeed if parents keep them off for spurious reasons or decide to take term time holidays. Disgusting.

SeventhEverything · 23/10/2012 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeingBooyhoo · 23/10/2012 10:35

YANBU at all. but tbh if it was my child, i'd take them to the party anyway. it is a completely ridiculous and not at all thought out rule. i'd send my child and they could try to send him home. they could try.

catsmother · 23/10/2012 10:36

That is truly appalling. I'd be so tempted to front up with your child to the party and dare them to refuse entry. However, if they're that draconian and irrational I would of course also be worried about causing further upset for my child.

I think you'd struggle to find any school where all its pupils are 100% healthy in every way the whole year. Quite apart from kids with ongoing conditions, there are all the usual childhood things which are no-one's fault - chicken pox, mumps, broken bones etc etc. How on earth does this place expect kids to avoid all that and how the hell do they justify punishing them for something completely beyond their control ?

MaryZed · 23/10/2012 10:36

So what is happening to the children who don't go to the party? Or is it in the evening?

I think certificates are bad enough: this is just downright mean.

tovetove · 23/10/2012 10:38

ds2's state primary does certificates and a big hoo ha at the end of year assembly for 100% attendance. I hate it. I actually think it is a bit thick and ignorant Blush to insist kids come to school in one way but insist you keep them at home if they are ill in another.

Original poster
mumnosbest · 23/10/2012 10:40

Oh forgot to say it's in the afternoon, special lunch then party. Those not attending will have lessons as normal.

OP posts:
MaryZed · 23/10/2012 10:41

If that is the case, I would either not send him to school, or send him in and collect him before lunch and take him somewhere nice (possibly with other excluded children).

There is no way I would let my child do ordinary lessons while the rest of the school had a party Angry.

catsmother · 23/10/2012 10:42

That's especially nasty. "At least" if it was after school you could provide a treat of your own (though you shouldn't have to) but this way, presumably the party kids will come back to class at the end of the day full of it.

tovetove · 23/10/2012 10:42

are you serious? Shock that is horrible.

tovetove · 23/10/2012 10:43

I'd take cakes in for the non party attenders.

MaryZed · 23/10/2012 10:43

In fact, even had I deliberately taken my child out of school for a holiday I would do this.

At primary level, attendance is not under the control of the child. It would be much more appropriate to ban the parents from school events.

In fact, why not do that - only parents with 100% attending children can come to the Christmas play. I bet there would be a riot.

Quadrangle · 23/10/2012 10:45

At our school they only count attendance up to May for some reason. So they gave out 100% attendance certificates in the Summer term. Except a couple of kids weren't there to accept their certificates because they were on holiday. Hmm

KenLeeeeeee · 23/10/2012 10:46

That's just horrible :(

usualsuspect3 · 23/10/2012 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NellyJob · 23/10/2012 10:47

outrageous.
keep your child home that day and you need to talk to the 'inclusion officer'

Original poster
mumnosbest · 23/10/2012 10:48

OOh I like the idea of cakes for non-attenders but think I'll probably keep him off school and treat him. He wont be missing anything that the party-goers aren't missing.

OP posts:
thebestisyettocome · 23/10/2012 10:48

That's very unfair and discriminatory. What about the children with disabilities who have to take time off from time to time for treatment? DH is disabled and this is the sort of thing that used to happen to him. I really thought we'd moved on. Evidently not.

NellyJob · 23/10/2012 10:50

it is disgusting, what if a kid has regular hospital appointments for one reason or another?

RainyAfternoon · 23/10/2012 10:51

I would ask the school to explain the logic of giving children who have had the blessing of good health, and therefore uninterupted education, a reward. Surely health and education are their own reward?

PedanticPanda · 23/10/2012 10:52

That is ridiculous! I thought this was going to be another thread about 100% attendance but banning children from the Halloween party for not having perfect attendance is completely unreasonable. My son is off today as he caught nits at school and the schools policy is they can o my return once treated so if he was at your dc's school then he'd be refused a ticket for following school policy Hmm

thebestisyettocome · 23/10/2012 10:53

If I were you I'd write a letter stating why you think it's unfair then, in the final line ask the head how the policy could possibly be in line with the Disability Discrimination Act? Chances are the head won't even bother looking at the act before performing a spectacular u-turn.

pigletmania · 23/10/2012 10:53

That is awful. I would definitely complain to the head, if not LEA. What do they expect people to do come and spread diseases about. Nobody I don't think has 100 attendance. That is rubbish. Don't think it will be a fun party with one or two there

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 23/10/2012 10:54

I think this is disgusting. If I were a school governor, I would definitely want to review this policy. Certificates are bad enough.

A couple of years ago, when DD was in Yr6, her school did attendance certificates in assembly at Xmas. Only 13 (out of 240) children managed 100% (including my 2) due to several bugs which had done the rounds. I was just grateful I'd got to Xmas without having to arrange for poorly DCs. As luck would have it DS took ill that night...

Original poster
mumnosbest · 23/10/2012 10:55

RainyAfternoon mind if I quote you if I write a letter? :)
thebestisyettocome and NellyJob Our school is usually very inclusive, has a SEN unit attached and has argue this case to Ofsted in the past but guess they're feeling the heat. So annoyed, there must be other ways of dealing with it!

OP posts:
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