Friend told my DH to be quiet

[FattyMa]

So we were at the wedding reception of a friend I've known for a long time. Her cousin started playing the guitar and singing. My DH was being introduced to some of the people he hadn't met before and naturally there was a bit of good humoured banter going on. Wasn't even aware DH was being "loud" but bride marched over and says "Can you not talk just now!" to DH then marched off. DH was offended as I was and was wanting to leave initially but he calmed down.

To be fair she explained herself later on and told us that her cousin has apsergers and she didn't want him to be put off by the noise. If she had told us that at the time we would have understood a bit better but AIBU to have been pissed off with her for this? I mean ffs I would be delighted if my friends were having a good time getting to know each other and would never dream of speaking to my guests like that. If she wanted silence whilst her cousin was playing she should have announced it.

Actually I think everyone else was incorrect.
explains a lot. YABU.

How rude to talk loudly over a musician who was playing. As a guest, the music would be what I wanted to hear, not your DH being loud and jovial.
It was the bride's special day, she may have been a little stressed and therefore not as tactful as she would have been at someone else's wedding,.
I dislike people in restaurants whose good-natured banter is loud enough for everyone else to hear as well. He needs to work on his inside voice, and a mature response to being told off. She told him off like a 5 year old, and his response matched it.

oops sorry mistook ebook for OP

No one was being unreasonable. It's understandable your Dh was chatting to people, and also totally understandable that the bride wanted people to be quiet cos her cousin has aspergers and was trying to concentrate on playing, and the bride gave a proper explanation later so no one is in the wrong ! And yes u think the bride would be stressed which is why she couldn't give full explanation in the moment

I went to a wedding where a family member played the bride's late father's favourite song hilariously badly and because it was announced as such everyone listened politely.

Yabu to be so cross but so was she.

BUT if the bride felt that she had to explain afterwards, she must have known that HER behaviour had been a bit offensive to your DH? (Unless you were both stropping around the place making it obvious....!!) So, not having been there I don't know but perhaps she might have 'shusshed' him a bit less aggressively.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of this . . I'd rather have been getting pissed at the bar with George/Boris and cronies than sitting in silence with the uptight bride listening to a teenager play acoustic guitar

I think regardless of who was right/wrong you just go along with what the bride said - it's her wedding day!

Yabu - dh should have been respectful.

Also I doubt the bride "marched" over probably walked and asked politely- and she shouldn't have had to.

And if he had quietly gone out to the bar I'm sure the bride wouldn't have minded that.

But on t he other hand why should others be subjected to sit there in silence.

Did you feel this way during the ceremony and speeches then.

Yabu.

Exactly mutny. Its a wedding, what a stupid word to use 'subjected'. You've been invited to a wedding and it does involve periods of silence

Fault on both sides I think, although more fault on the bride's side. The bride could have been more polite about asking him to be quiet, your DH could have been quieter in the first place. I think a musical performance at a wedding reception, where people are expected to fall to silence and listen, is a bit weird. It's one thing if it's part of the ceremony, or if it happens straight after speeches when people know they're expected to sit and listen, but if someone just started singing without any announcement I wouldn't stop my conversation, I would expect it was intended to be background music. Strange.

YABU your dh sounds rude and I think the bride was frustrated with him hence being snappy. He is in the wrong here.

If someone suddenly chooses, unannounced, to start playing an instrument, and silence is expected whilst they do so, it's they who are being rude in interrupting other people's converations.

Bride sounds like a snotty bitch, tbh.

Its her wedding. If she wants someone to play and instrument and people to listen, then they should have the decency to shut the fuck up and listen for a few minutes.

lol at using the word subjected.

Your husband sounds a rude so and so - braying loudly to his friends and then threatening to walk out because the bride asked him not to talk. Is his name Dom Joly?

The OP hasn't been back

I was ambivalent at the start of this thread but: But on the other hand why should others be subjected to sit there in silence did it for me. People/wedding guests could quite reasonably be expected to sit there in silence because it it someone's wedding! It is their day and they could be indulged a little. What snappy bride asked for, wasn't too much and by way of the explanation afterwards, about the cousin, it goes some way towards an apology.

Come back OP and respond.

I always wonder how much time elapses in these OP accounts.

Relation starts playing - George/Boris carries on guffawing - 3 seconds later - bride erupts - YANBU

Relation starts playing - guests fall silent - George/Boris guffawing - nearby guests eyeball George/Boris - 'So, are you an ex of the bride, ha ha!' - Auntie Winnie coughs meaningfully - '...must know Rebakah! Great girl, ho ho!' - bride erupts - YABU

Absolutely wildfig spot on.

Seems clear every one else was quiet otherwise you would by now have said others were talking.

Clueless or obnoxious; take your pick.

The George/Boris stuff is really making me laugh!

Ok, I admit at my wedding the band stopped playing and my teenage nephew got up and sang a really beautiful song in Gaelic which moved many of the guests to tears. No one really announced he was playing but everyone stopped talking and listened. I was really grateful to him for singing for us.

What a mean bunch some of you are! Firstly, my DH hardly knew anyone at the reception so of course he will try and make an effort to speak when introduced to new people.

B) The guitar playing chap wasn't announced and I don't think we even noticed to start with.

C) DH wasn't being overly loud so we were taken aback to be told to be quiet in the manner which my friend did.

It felt somewhat belittling and I was happy to back DH up when he initially felt like leaving. It's not such a big deal looking back, like others have said she was probably feeling stressed out wanting everything to go well etc but to make your guest feel like a small child on what was meant to be a joyous social occassion is a bit off in my books.

Oh great another typical AIBU
OP - AIBU
Posters x 100 - YABVU
OP - No I'm not and you are mean biatches.

so you weren't asking 'aibu'?

You were asking for everyone to hoike their busoms at what a bitch the bride was?

Clearly he was loud or she would have heard him. Making an effort includes being polite.

So did you and him mind being quite during the service? Or did you feel subjected to that as well.

Sounds very childish, imo.

Oh and threatening to leave in a strop makes you sound about 5.