Friend told my DH to be quiet

[FattyMa]

So we were at the wedding reception of a friend I've known for a long time. Her cousin started playing the guitar and singing. My DH was being introduced to some of the people he hadn't met before and naturally there was a bit of good humoured banter going on. Wasn't even aware DH was being "loud" but bride marched over and says "Can you not talk just now!" to DH then marched off. DH was offended as I was and was wanting to leave initially but he calmed down.

To be fair she explained herself later on and told us that her cousin has apsergers and she didn't want him to be put off by the noise. If she had told us that at the time we would have understood a bit better but AIBU to have been pissed off with her for this? I mean ffs I would be delighted if my friends were having a good time getting to know each other and would never dream of speaking to my guests like that. If she wanted silence whilst her cousin was playing she should have announced it.

There is nothing in the OP to suggest that this was a perfromance.

I think that this hinges on whether the cousin was annouced or not.

" can you not talk right now" sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

YABU and a little bit sensitive your husband and the group were rude and probably taken aback that somebody (the bride) told them that , would you say the same if the group were having a bit of banter during a speech, They were told off and should accept it graciously imo,

So she didn't announce the one manned no mic performance then?

Yanbu

My pal had a singer at her wedding and everyone carried on chatting away. It would have been most odd to be sat in silence IMO.

YANBU, I have never been to a wedding where everyone was expected to sit in silence and listen to the music playing even if it is a live band/singer, we had a live band at my wedding and everyone carried on socialising while they played. If it was supposed to be a special performance of one song only then they should have made an announcement to that effect.

I don't think it is reasonable to be offended by such trivia.

She said "can you not talk right now" to you all as a group, presumably.
You shouldn't have needed to be told, tbh, much less take offence at it. YABU.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there's been a 'formal' performance and silence. And I've been to a fair few hateful bloody tedious weddings

" bit of good humoured banter going on" = very loud

"can you not talk right now" = you are being very loud can you pipe down

If someone (whose wedding it was) asked me to stop talking because someone was playing I'd feel a bit sheepish and shut up, not get cross about it and want to walk out. What an over-reaction!

Why do you think she "marched" (twice) rather than "walked"?

I really don't think the issue is whether the OP realised they needed to be quiet or not - I don't think they were being unreasonable to be loud at a wedding reception if they didn't realise someone was playing/singing. I do however think getting huffy and threatening to walk out when they're asked to pipe down is wildly unreasonable though.

Did she not plead for quiet nicely enough for your DH?

"Can you not talk just now!" is pretty rude. Why didn't she say "please"? Why did she march over to your husband and give him an order, instead of just smiling and asking him discreetly?

In any case there should have been an announcement if the idea was that people would stop to listen.

YY threatening to walk out is a massive great pile of wank.

To wrap up, because I'm bored and about to hide the thread, you were all equally rude and you should apologize to the bride and the bride to you.

I suspect neither will happen.

I also suspect the bride is trash talking you to everyone she knows. As you are trash talking the bride.

HTH!

Indeed, threatening to walk out says much about Boris/George.

Presumably your DH and the people he had just met weren't the only guests at the wedding? But the were the only ones who needed to be told to be quiet.

I think your DH must have been behaving in a fairly boorish and inconsiderate fashion to be singled out.

Is your DH loud? A much loved person in my life has a very loud partner who goes on and on and on when others would just know to pipe down. All I can think is she has tuned him out over the years.

If someone starts performing on their guitar you shush - I agree with the poster that said even my child would do that! I would have told him to be quiet too. To then be all affronted and want to walk out of the wedding says a lot about him too.

Everyone else at the wedding seems to have figured out it wasn't the time to be loud.

Everyone else at the wedding seems to have figured out it wasn't the time to be loud.

Maybe everyone else wasn't just being introduced to some people they'd never met (and politely giving their full attention to them)?

The thing about background music is that it's meant to get the party into more of a swing, which would actually mean a polite response is to chat more.

Everyone except the OP's DH figured out the appropriate behaviour.

Actually I think everyone else was incorrect. If the performer wasn't introduced, you don't need to stop what you're doing.

Yes. Everyone else was wrong. That must be it.

I get the galloping cringes something rotten when nearly everyone in the room goes quiet but some Big Gob blathers on regardless...

so based on my own low cringe threshold, I'm going to declare you Unreasonable.

clearly everybody else was not wrong if so the bride would not have asked anyone to stop talking.

Good for the bride I say.

"Can you not talk just now?"

It´s hardly "STFU!! is it?