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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend told my DH to be quiet

168 replies

FattyMa · 20/10/2012 14:53

So we were at the wedding reception of a friend I've known for a long time. Her cousin started playing the guitar and singing. My DH was being introduced to some of the people he hadn't met before and naturally there was a bit of good humoured banter going on. Wasn't even aware DH was being "loud" but bride marched over and says "Can you not talk just now!" to DH then marched off. DH was offended as I was and was wanting to leave initially but he calmed down.

To be fair she explained herself later on and told us that her cousin has apsergers and she didn't want him to be put off by the noise. If she had told us that at the time we would have understood a bit better but AIBU to have been pissed off with her for this? I mean ffs I would be delighted if my friends were having a good time getting to know each other and would never dream of speaking to my guests like that. If she wanted silence whilst her cousin was playing she should have announced it.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/10/2012 15:14

YABU... You should have apologised and listened. Being involved with live music myself I'm only too conscious that some people feel it's OK to talk over a performance they way they would a recording. It's really rude. I'd get back in my box if I were you....

pigletmania · 20/10/2012 15:16

Yes dh should not have been talking, but nor should the cousin be so rude. Two wrongs don't make a right

ZombTEE · 20/10/2012 15:18

I would agree your cousin was a bit rude.

But so was your husband and your friends for talking to begin with.

mrsscoob · 20/10/2012 15:19

Yabu and over sensitive. She only asked him not to talk, I cannot understand how that is rude, it's not like she gave you a load of abuse or anything. I would have been mortified rather than angry.

AlmostAHipster · 20/10/2012 15:19

YABU - I can't believe how ill-mannered some people can be. If I'd been a guest at the wedding, I'd have told your DH to bloody shush!

WorraLiberty · 20/10/2012 15:21

A marching bride? Whatever next? Grin

Are you sure she marched over and then marched off?

She didn't just walk over and ask your DH to be quiet?

TinyDancingHoofer · 20/10/2012 15:21

YABU

PedanticPanda · 20/10/2012 15:21

Yabu it sounds like your dh was quite rude.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 20/10/2012 15:26

You initially didn't realise he was playing BUT you didn't stop when you did realise so you are being very unreasonable.

Goldenjubilee10 · 20/10/2012 15:30

YABU it is very rude to talk when someone is playing. If you didn't realise someone was singing then it was good of the bride to let you know.

ENormaSnob · 20/10/2012 15:37

Sorry I'm thinking it was a band Blush

Didn't realise it was one bloke without a mic.

greenfern · 20/10/2012 15:39

I can understand you feeling annoyed at your friend. Personally if had been her i would have announced that said cousin was going to perform some quietness from the wedding guests. Then hopefully people would have took notice and listened.

exoticfruits · 20/10/2012 15:43

It is just 6 of one, half a dozen of the other- not anything to get upset about.

eBook · 20/10/2012 15:43

YANBU.

If a performer has been introduced, then of course you are quiet while everyone listens to them.

But if someone just starts playing/singing, you can assume it is meant to be background music and you can keep chatting.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/10/2012 15:43

If it was annouced YABU

if it wasn't annouced then YANBU.

ThursdayWillBeTheDay · 20/10/2012 15:45

Is it only me imagining the dh being a loud boorish quaffing cross between George Osborne and Boris?

BloodRedAlienReflux · 20/10/2012 15:48

Thursday Grin

SuePurblybilt · 20/10/2012 15:49

YY, Thursday. I am picturing braying and boyish throwing back of head when laughing. Possibly clapping on back.

MooncupGoddess · 20/10/2012 15:49

People get stressed on their wedding day because they want everything to be perfect - it is totally natural. Cut her some slack on this one.

SilverCharm · 20/10/2012 15:54

Was the singer introduced properly? If a performance is not given due "fanfare" then one has to expect some chatter in the background...at least till people cotton on.

IsabelleRinging · 20/10/2012 15:57

Since when do people sit in silence for a musical perfomance in a non formal environment? We go to our local pub that has local bands playing, people are not expected to sit in silence in the pub? At a wedding, when a band is the entertainment people are still milling about and chatting. We had a band for our wedding and people danced and chatted while they performed. You would only normally sit in silence if you were all seated and facing the performer at a formal concert in a concert hall, or similar. If the guy had just picked up his guitar and started playing in the corner of the room I wouldn't expect the room to fall into complete silence, people might lower their voices a bit but unless he was on the stage and the perfomance very formal..then..?

ZombTEE · 20/10/2012 15:57

See, the thing is, I get the impression it wasn't just chatting but more what Thursday said. Loud braying and laughing and perhaps some high fiving...

GhostShip · 20/10/2012 15:58

It wasn't a band though, it was a performance?

You don't talk loudly through a performance.

Obviously they were the only ones being loud, so how come everyone else has the reason and decency to shush...

BloodRedAlienReflux · 20/10/2012 15:59

I would put money on back slapping

zombieplanmum · 20/10/2012 16:06

YABU and rude, why do you think it was ok to be talking while someone was performing?

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