Leaving out one child from party invite

[DixieD]

I am not a horrible cow. My DD is having a princess party for her 6th (hopefully we will be out of this princess phase soon!). We are inviting all the girls in the class. Or at least we are planning to.
The problem is this. One girl in the class is a Jehovah's Witness. She can't go to parties, play dates etc with non JW kids. I know that she will not come to the party as does DD. I was planning on inviting her anyway just so she wouldn't be the only one not getting an invite. I don't want her to be upset and think DD didn't want her there.
However it has occurred to me that it may be disrespectful to her parents beliefs to ask her to something she is bot permitted to attend. Would it be undermining them? It is common knowledge that she doesn't attend parties so its no like I can claim ignorance.
So WIBU to invite this girl despite knowing its against their religious beliefs?

yy to yellowpads idea.

feel a bit sorry for the girl, really.

sod all this extra notes/playdates malarkey - i don't think anyone would seriously do this for the benefit of one child unless it was their own.

seriously, OP if you want to invite this little girl to your DDs party, do it.

what happens next is out of your control

I had no idea that JW didn't celebtate birthdays! I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like for a 6yo to see all their class mates having birthday celebrations which they are excluded from. Makes me feel .

I like peoples ideas of an invitation to play on a seperate day. Do you think she'd be allowed a piece of the birthday cake?

She can't play on a separate day because according to the OP, she's only allowed 'play dates' with other JWs.

That's why I think the OP should stop worrying and just send the invite.

From that point, it's down to the parents to deal with it.

She wouldn't be allowed come over to play either though as we are not JW.

My best friend is a JW....her kids are allowed to have friends who are not JW!!

My friend and her family are most certainly not twats....whoever said that, well, is just am ignorant thing to say, people are entitled to their own beliefs.

I woudn't bother inviting her...the mum knows you know she is a JW so she won't even give it a thought. It would be a bit mean I think giving the little girl an invitation when you know she can't make it.

No, don't give her a piece of b/day cake, they won't like anything to do with birthdays at all.

Obviously other JW can go on play dates. This is not the case here. This child is not allowed go to other kids houses or even to meet them in a neutral venue. In fact my friend once accidentally bumped into them in the park with their respective kids and they still weren't allowed play together.
Thanks for replies everyone. Majority seem to think I should invite. I'll have a big more of a think about it.

I think I would invite her anyway and put a little note on the back which says I understand that your dd doesn't attend parties, but we wanted her to know that she wasn't being left out when dd gave out the invites.

I'm sorry, I wouldn't describe anyone who won't allow her child to have friends outside their religion as 'lovely'. I think that's fucking awful. And like Worra says, I'd find it offensive.

Another vote for invite her but put a note on the back saying you know they don't celebrate birthdays but didn't want her to feel unwanted.

I'd invite - if you are handing pink envelopes to all the other girls or asking the teacher to pop one in each girls folder it looks awful leaving 1 out.

I'd give the invite but wouldn't chase up if you get no response.

You are overthinking the situation here. I do not feel you would offend the JW child's family by inviting their child to the party it shows that your daughter regards their child as a friend.

Not allowing your child to go to parties because you're JW is one thing but to not allow your child to go on play dates with non JW children is bloody ridiculous. Not to mention offensive! Can you imagine if you requested that your daughter isn't allowed to play with JW children.

Send her an invite. I don't celebrate all religious festivals but I wouldn't be offended to get an invite to one because I don't celebrate it.

That's what's so bloody wrong with this world! Poxy religion!

Invite her anyway. It's the responsibility of her parents to explain to her why she can't go.

As make it a large has been there and bought the t shirt etc I would be inclined to follow her advice.

Are you no longer a JW MakeItALarge?

DD has a traveller girl in her class who isn't allowed to come to parties.I invite her anyway but never hear anything

That's a really helpful post, Makeitlarge, it's good to know that being included in invites is important for JW children.

I sent an invite to all the girls, including a JH child (knowing she wouldn't be able to come) and the teacher returned it to me without giving it to her. I assume this was what the parent requested be done with any invitations.

Please ask her. A friend of mine (admittedly at senior school and so much more aware of life) was a JW and hated it. She used to love getting people presents at Christmas, but had to wait until January to hand them out. I don't remember what happened with parties as by that time people didn't really have them but went out just with a best friend for the day. But I do know she hated being treated any differently.

She was a very bright, spirited lovely girl but her parents did wear her down. She wasn't allowed to go on to do A Levels but had to stay at home and "help" her mum. When I was in my first year at uni, my mum saw her mum in town and she told her that the girl was married and expecting her first baby. My mum went home and cried as she was so sad for her. We are now talking over 20 years ago but whenever I get the JWs knocking, I still wonder what happened to her.

Invite her and it's up to the parents to accept/decline.

Sounds quite sad to be a jw, no playing with ther kids, social situations that kids like eg, parties and play dates