To of phoned the school and asked them to withdraw this?

[quoteunquote]

The year 7 have been set homework to share in class,

What makes you frightened and why?
When did this fear start?

I know that amongst DS's friends there are children with serious medical situations going on, children with parents with terminal illness, children with dead siblings, children with a dead parent, children that have suffered serious sexual abuse, children in care, a child who's older sibling has had recently very nearly successful suicide attempts, and children with parents who have mental illness, and children who are facing homelessness.

I feel that this is a situation where, "Can opened and worms all over the place." will sum up the situation nicely,

I don't feel that children sharing these kind issues with their peers is going to do either side much good, even the children sharing normal fears are going to be laid open to teasing.

I know that the children that are receiving counselling and support are having that structured very carefully, none of the people proving those services have been contacted to advice on this.

So my first AIBU, strapping hat on.

is a link to the thread I started last night, asking this question in chat, without the reason why, I did so as I wanted to see what responses to such a question would be, because I have now have phoned the school to express concern, I thought I would ask for the MN views while I wait for someone to phone me back.

As OP says she has received several phone calls from concerned parents, then surely the right thing is to contact the school to report factually the number of calls, type of concerns reported to her (as far as confidentiality permits) and state the need for precautions in the classroom should any of the revealed issues be distressing. She could also enquire what support services the school has in place for any pupils who do become distressed as a result of doing the homework or listening to presentations by others.

Sokmonsta agree about the reason.
But then, in a year of let's say 200 pupils, it is clear that you will get some with some major issues. I know a child in Y8 who last year (Y7) was suicidal. The cases that the OP is talking about are not uncommon unfortunatly. Or it could be the fear of seeing your parents divorce.
How can any of that possibly be shared in a class?

never mind that - I keep wincing at the bad grammar in the title

#redpen

Pagwatch - I think that living with a secret makes this homework fairly straightforward because you are well used to covering it up (also bitter experience here). Something which is private but not a secret is much harder to explain to a child - that they might set themselves up for some horrendous bullying if they are honest about something this early in their secondary school life.

Of course I would encourage DS to say "spiders" but why set homework that either opens up a can of worms or encourages children to lie.

It isn't difficult to change homework to de-personalise it - I think 11 is too young for a public discussion on their real fears in some cases. And those some cases are often the children who have the most the lose.

BTW: what subject does this homework follow? There's a huge difference between say PSHE/RE and English (creative writing, or following a set text or comprehension passage) and I would expect yr7 pupils to put the task into context.

OhDeerHauntingFENTON

thanks, I didn't want to start with statistics, but it fairly naive to think in whole year seven that these things are going on,

the homeless thing for some of the children is because the large local traveller (new age)site is about to be evicted, some of the children have been based there all their lives, very frightening.

there are children who live with grandparents because of parents with drug issues, one of the children who is in year 7 who went to the primary school, now lives with grandma, does her siblings because her mum cannot control her heroin habit.

I'm sure that if you look closely at any group there are issues, take a sample group of any of the childhoods of MNers, these are common problems, sadly nothing has changed for this generation.

In drama, for example, it is good practice to preface all subject questions of this kind with something like 'think of something that you are happy to tell other people about...' and set the boundaries right at the start.

That also acknowledges that some people will have things they don't want to discuss, rather than them just lying and feeling they can't actually address the question openly and honestly.

It all depends on how it is handled.

I know of loads of kids in DS's primary class that had dealt with or were dealing with extreme situations.

Even at primary school, it's so easy to start something in circle time without thinking of the conesquences tell me about it - its why I have a firm talk with each years teacher about DS's adoption not being an opportunity for a lovely "show and tell".

"In drama, for example, it is good practice to preface all subject questions of this kind with something like 'think of something that you are happy to tell other people about...' and set the boundaries right at the start. "

Thats a really really good way to phrase it Blu - I must make a mental note!

MrsDV - I have wondered if (on other threads) parents who assume the teachers are always briefed on problems either have children with no underlying issues and make the assumption that it is so or have exceptionally good schools where there is a detailed handover done to each new teacher.

Kewcumber

Thanks. Yes, that is true. I was very adept at concealing and I see that other situations, other sues may be more likely to be in the 'can of worms' category.

Someone said upthread too about difficulties if our child is very literal and would feel the need to answer honestly.

I see how those situations may create much more of a problem.

DS is the child who when the teachers says "who is making all that noise" meaning - "please pipe down", puts his hand up to admit that he was making a noise!

Very literal.

I would also say that the context in which the homework was set is a factor. I'm guessing it may have been an English homework; the timing would set it to be shared or the final piece edited around Halloween? Presenting it to accompany a ghost story or something or with bats and pumpkins around it might determine some of the responses.

The wording's too open though I think. If what I mentioned above is the intended final outcome it could have been put better. Like, for example, 'What is the spookiest thing that has ever happened to you?'

And teachers, especially in secondary schools, may not aware of significant issues in their pupils' lives. How aware they are depends on the quality of pastoral care at the school.

Am I misunderstanding your tone?

sorry struggling to keep up here, and my phone keeps going,

no offence intended, I did post this as I am interested in all points of view,

I just was relived when someone else who has experience of supporting children with difficult situations seemed to understand where my concern was coming from.

never mind that - I keep wincing at the bad grammar in the title

Sorry,terrible Dyslexia and didn't start learning english until late childhood, not an excuse, just an explanation, Will try harder, maybe you should report it, so that it can be changed.

As for make it up? why? what would you like me to do? I haven't even named changed for this, please check out my other posts if you think I am winding up for fun, I hope you might be able to see that I join in honestly.

I was going to ask if any other year 7 parents have had this homework?

Fair enough.

thanks, I didn't want to start with statistics, but it fairly naive to think in whole year seven that these things are going on

To be fair you didn't mention the whole year until later on. You originally referred to a class with 33 other children in it.

I think it must be a curriculum thing and not just something the teacher came up with on a whim as my DS who is also in year 7 had the same thing a few weeks ago. He put something fairly innocuous as far as I remember.

At 11 they are fairly self conscious (at least DS is!) and won't want to write anything too revealing or deep.

sorry I really am playing catch up, now feeling very sympathetic to those who brave starting these fast AIBU threads,

The school were informed before the children started of their individual situations, so I would of thought that a teacher asking for this home and class work would know about the children in their class.

sorry Worral,

looking back I didn't make it clear, is there a special MN self flagellation I am meant to do now(someone should devise one), I'm rubbish at this.

I still think you're over thinking it to be honest.

This won't be the first time the school has set this homework and it obviously hasn't caused them enough concern in the past (if any at all)

I'm sure if it had, they would have discontinued it by now.

It's secondary school, though. Class/pastoral groups may not map exactly to teaching groups. So, as I posted above for different reasons! It does make a difference whether this arose from a PSHE type lesson (where I think the teacher does need to know about pupil circumstances) or English (where the need is less obvious, and the task, though very openly worded on paper, may have a different context).

thanks Ciderwithbuba , so it's nationwide then? I wonder who thought that up?