to slightly judge nursery worker?

[pleasethanks]

Okay I am probably ABU to judge her, but I think many of you might have....

There is a lady who works at DD's nursery who is rather pregnant. When I went to pick up DD I saw her walking away (the pregnant lady) at the end of her shift, smoking. She is about 7 months pregnant.

I don't have a problem at all with nursery staff smoking, up to them. But I did feel slightly odd about seeing a pregnant lady, who cares for children, smoking.

AIBU?

pleasethanks - I'm surprised the nursery don't have a 'no smoking in grounds' policy, so that she'd have to be completely away from the premises before lighting up, which would avoid just that sort of thing. I thought most would by now.

its when I see heavily pregnant women smoking outside maternity units in dressing gown and pjs that i hoick my judgey pants !!

buba @ 'woral' made me think of whataboutawaterbottleworal.
And the sticking needles in the eyes bit, I totally agree but I kid you not the consultant as hosp did this to me on wednesday morning (in both eyes, 3 feckin times) and it hurts like buggery.

Yeah Eleanor - we are of course comparing mums that smoke during pregnancy to mums that dance or go swimming?

No one is perfect in pregnancy - there is too much conflicting information on some things - especially food! But there's a big difference between eating too much junk (which I think we are probably all guilty of when pregnant) and smoking!

YANBU, it's not just her body it's her child that's going to be affected. I would judge who wouldn't, but would not say anything to the lady

My local hospital has a 'no smoking on hospital grounds policy'. Hahahahaha. There are always groups of women in fluffy dressing gowns standing right outside the maternity wing doors puffing away when I go to the antenatal clinic.

I ate a multipack of Frazzles when I was about 14 weeks this time round. I judged myself only coz it was a multipack though.

cheekydevil - Oh no you poor thing!!!! It was just a figure of speech!

Hope you're OK now?

How it might be viewed by people like you. Yeah suppose so but then so what, it's none of your business.

buba do you feel as strongly/judgey about obesity in pregnant women?

Because the list of possible damage to the baby and mother is even longer than that of smokers...and very similar.

Still in both cases no-one can say the baby will be harmed so I think that's what the deluded parents tend to cling on to.

It's a bit like Russian Roulette though.

Eleanor does raise a good point though. While it's fine to personally judge a pregnant woman for abusing their body and therefore their unborn child, it is vital not to let it go beyond that because there are massive issues associated with a woman's right to autonomy over her body. There are surprisingly few steps between banning pregnant women from smoking and outlawing abortion.

Ouch Cheekydevil!!

Hope you're ok now?

Oh well, I suppose it gets us prepared for a life time of people judging how we parent hey .

I am sure there is a list as long as your arm for health complications from eating too much shit when pregnant if you look hard enough.

FWIW I am very anti smoking and dont get why people smoke anyway, for their own health as well as any one elses but I am pro choice! Life is hard enough sometimes without people looking over your shoulder watching your every move.

Just achy and watery but thank you

Worra - if you have no problems with smoking in pregnancy that is up to you.

I'm not sure how I feel about obesity in pregnant women - I think that most of these women probably don't choose to be obese and why should this stop them having a baby - it's not ideal but it's the same as women in their 40's etc having babies - why shouldn't they if they are other-wise fit and healthy?

This is in NO WAY the same as a purely selfish, unnecessary act that can cause your baby serious harm! I don't get why that's hard to understand.

In regards to Russian roulette - Yes it is a bit like this - but instead of their being 1 bullet when you smoke you're adding 3 extra bullets to the barrel.

And in this case no-one can say the baby won't be harmed so I think that's what stupid and selfish smokers tell themselves to justify their behaviour.

Here's one implication for eating shit whilst pregnant......

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/250191.php

Sorry, no idea how to link it properly. Just proves my point though.

When I went into hosp when pg with dd, dh visited me each day and used to pop to the supermarket to get bits for me. Often he used to get bits for other people, one day he asked the lady in the next bed if he could get anything or her and she said 20 b&h please we were on the pre labour ward or whatever it's called. He was so shocked he just took the money and shuffled off but said he felt awful getting them.

bubalou where on earth did I say I have no problem with women smoking in pregnancy?

I have an (albeit silent) problem with anyone putting their unborn baby at risk.

Not choosing to be obese and being otherwise healthy, doesn't lessen the risk to the unborn baby does it?

More than half of women who die during pregnancy are overweight or obese.

Obesity raises the risk of the following conditions in pregnant women:

miscarriage
gestational diabetes
high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia
blood clots
post-caesarean wound infection
genital and urine infections
haemorrhage after the birth
problems with breastfeeding
having a baby with an abnormally high birthweight
increased risk of induction and instrumental (ventouse or forceps)delivery
Most pregnancies of obese women are successful, but problems for your baby can include:
premature birth
stillbirth
birth defects

There's also evidence that babies born of obese mothers are more prone to health problems later in life, including obesity and diabetes.

Link here. So why judge one group of pregnant risk taking mothers but not the other?

Worra...exactly!!!

You are so much better at the links than me :)

Worra - I'm not taking about obesity in pregnancy - you are!!!!

If you want to judge them that's up to you.

I am not going to ever think it is OK to smoke during pregnancy.

If you want to try and make yourself and others feel better about smoking during pregnancy by targeting another group of what you call 'risk taking mothers' then you do just that!

My friend just gave birth to a beautiful little girl after 5 years or IVF. She is what will be classed as 'obese' - she hasn't always been, she was a healthy size 12 but after so many failed attempts, depression, injections, hormones etc she is now in this bracket. She didn't choose to be, she had tried losing weight in-between rounds of IVF - she ate very healthy during pregnancy and did a suitable amount of exercise.

No I do not class her in the same bracket as someone that 'knowingly' makes the decision to fill their body with harmful toxins that could permanently harm or kill their baby?!?!?!?!?

YABU.

You don't know circumstances.

My mum was advised in 2005 when pregnant with twins NOT to quit during pregnancy due to the fact it would hugely increase stress levels and you're not supposed to use patches whilst pregnant either.

she was however advised to cut down to no more than 6 a day, which she did.

I personally wouldn't do it and I gave up a soon as I had positive test but I wasn't a heavy smoker.

Betty It took me ages to learn to link

I probably should reiterate the fact I think judging anyone's pregnancy is wrong.

But I don't quite understand the hypocrisy when someone is willing to judge one risk taker and not another.

At the hear of it all there is still an innocent baby having its life possibly put at risk.

*heart

Obesity and smoking are different in that you can't simply give up being obese when you get a positive test.

My friend just gave birth to a beautiful little girl after 5 years or IVF. She is what will be classed as 'obese' - she hasn't always been, she was a healthy size 12 but after so many failed attempts, depression, injections, hormones etc she is now in this bracket. She didn't choose to be, she had tried losing weight in-between rounds of IVF - she ate very healthy during pregnancy and did a suitable amount of exercise -

But the upshot is the same....she is obese and it is a risk to her baby. She tried to lose weight but obviously didnt, same as someone who tries to quit smoking but cant. You are totally contradicting yourself - why is one more acceptable than the other.

Worra - there is hope for me yet then :)